Checking in daily to maintain focus #68

Day 2305. Cannot sleep. Luckily I have tomorrow off. Family dinner and a nap is all i have planned.

Stay sober friends!!

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Checking in - Day 60

Feeling good and almost as though being sober is second nature now, although I know I need to keep my guard up

I realised this morning that after spending all day serving alcoholic drinks to people from my market stall at a festival yesterday, the thought didnā€™t once enter my mind that I would like to have one myself. Thatā€™s a big change in my brains way of thinking for sure and today Iā€™m excited to see 60 days on the clock and eager to see the next month whizz by

Have a good day all

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1863

Sunny start to the day. I need to be outside for a bit to catch some rays. So keeping it short. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. I will. Much love. Pic is from my bike ride yesterday. No rays then. X

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Oh yes,the kinder eggs. Ours differs a little from the American version. We do have American kinder eggs here, but they are more expensive than the usual version :smiling_face:

We do have two candies similar to Swedish fish. Soft chewy fruit or liquorice flavored fish shaped candy,and zoo candies which is a red fruit flavored candy that tastes more similar to the red American marketing Swedish fish even if the texture differs.

So Iā€™d say that the Swedish fish is made to marketing abroad even if it does exist here. :smiling_face:

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Day 547.

Heeey everyone! Iā€™m back, kinda, I think. Iā€™ve been popping in and out, reading, but never really feel like I have anything worthwhile to add. So I like hide away in the shadows of whatever it is I do with my time.

The shitty gig I was moaning about the other week is gone. There was too little money in it to justify that level of stress and coming close to relapsing from it scared me enough to call it quits. I fought hard for my sobriety and Iā€™ll be fucked if I allow some low-balling arsehole on a power trip threaten it.

Otherwise, thing are ok. Apart from my declining mental state, that is. Iā€™m depressed and feeling that unpleasant existential void BPD is famous for. Iā€™m even getting a tad nihilistic at times and Iā€™m not sure how to snap out of it. Itā€™s been a disheartening year so far and itā€™s my birthday is in a few weeks and no one is replying to my application emails and I hate being broke. Soā€¦ yeah. But I suppose Iā€™ve been through worse. At least Iā€™m not drinking.

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Day 643

Itā€™s near 4am here so I should get to sleep.
Had a pretty good day spending time with the kids
(Made for a really unhealthy food day, but tomorrow is another day)
Hoping I can figure out how to get my new (used) dryer to work well enough to dry on the first go around :face_holding_back_tears:
Work tomorrow, and then making dinner. So I know itā€™ll be something healthy. Ill try to remember to take a photo :slightly_smiling_face:

Hope yā€™all are doing well. :people_hugging::heart: Good night sober family

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Let us be the judge of that! And besides that, youā€™re here for you in the first place. Itā€™s always good to see you checking in Amy. Sharing your struggles is always worthwile. As is sharing your victories. And anything in between as well. Weā€™re in this together friend. Glad youā€™re here :people_hugging: :heart: :people_hugging:

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@Amy30 Good job on prioritising sobriety :muscle: :clap: before some job. I have no idea if this something that might help, but I have been struggling with intense mood swings and difficult mental states caused by the hormonal changes of perimenopause for quite a time now. And I always was prone to existential doubts. What I have found very helpful is the idea of us human beings as being in need of experiences of meaning AND the ones who have to create/make this meaning. I can wait for meaning to manifest at some random point, or I can decide every day how and when I want to make meaning investments. This perspective on life has become a very powerful anker for me, especially in times when my moods and my mind have trouble experiencing meaning in daily life. If you are intersted in this idea I can recommend a few books dealing with this idea. In any case: Sending good vibes your way :ocean: :mirror_ball:
@MrsOdh We also have the salty liquorice kind of ā€˜fishā€™ here in Germany. I think liquorice is quite popular in Sweden, or is it?
@Mno Enjoy your ride. I very much hope the weather will improve in a week when Iā€™ll be in Utrecht :wink: But judging from your pictures I definitely will be packing some rain gear.
@SussexGuy Congrats on 60days :tada: :muscle: :sunglasses: And the way your mindset has changed about being around alcohol and not equaling it to having to drink it is really great news.
@Thirdmonkey Hope you get to catch up on sleep with a nice nap. Do you have a nap partner for today?
@SoberWalker Wishing you a day as easy as it can be today. I would be horrified to host a party for 20 people :grin: And I definitely know somebody I could gift this shirt :rofl:
@Brittc Congrat on a full month! Great work :tada: What have you been doing for your sobriety that has worked for you?
@wahtisnormal Sending you virtual hugs over the ocean and two continents :ocean: :earth_africa: :earth_americas: :people_hugging:
@Just_Laura Thank you for this beautiful picture :heart_eyes: Is the light where you are really like in the picture? Itā€™s amazing.
@Butterflymoonwoman Itā€™s good to have you here, Dana. Your posts are always full of real life things. The reality check you wrote about recently is often what I get from your shares. They often help me to get out of my own mind funk. Thanks for being here and sharing :hugs:

235 sugar
99 UPF
106 gluten
5 dairy
1 overeating

Already did my morning run today :athletic_shoe: :muscle: I always wanted to get into running but never really managed. Now I am on week four. I am enjoying it a lot and I hope to develop a solid habit here.
Itā€™s time to wrap up the last week, take stock and prepare for next week. Time for my weekly review.
The weather is very nice right now, sunshine and only a few clouds, still cool enough. I think I am going to take a bike trip to visit my inlaws, maybe go to the pool in the afternoon. Definitely relaxing yoga later, some reading, and the GenderExpansiveMeeting of Recovery Dharma this evening. Looking forward to that!

Have a good day friends, a day of peace, kindness, and freedom :peace_symbol: :people_hugging: :dove:

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Grandbaby should be over for dinner. Pretty sure we will take a nap.

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166 days AF
11.11 am
And I just keep on going :fist:t2::heart::sunny:

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Hey, Dana. Thank you.

A lot has changed.

No more arguments with my wife. I mean, we have our moments like any other relationship, but itā€™s nothing extreme. I no longer have to lie or keep things from her. I just opened up to her about something that happened to me in my childhood. Weā€™ve been together almost 18 years, and I finally told her. I was already a drunk mess when I met her. Itā€™s like dating from scratch in a way. Learning new things about us.

I feel better physically. Lost a lot of weight. I average about 130 pds. I was 180-190 during my heavy drinking days.

My memory has improved. I had a hard time remembering moments with the fam.

Improved sleep. (Not 2nite tho cuz I a cup of coffee before bed :tired_face:)

Better bowel movements, LOL. Man, the beer shits would kill me. Sorry, TMI.

Iā€™m feeling great overall.

There are other things I need to work on, but slowly but surely.

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Day 153
Had a super busy weekend. Spent a few hours out with the camera yesterday doing some bird Nature Photography and then lovely date night dinner with my girl. Gym, meal prep, Sunday roast and now time bed with a book.
Hope everyone is doing well.

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:people_hugging: sorry you canā€™t have a real one. Hope things get better mate!

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Checking in day 118.

Had our baby shower today. Blessed to have such great friends and family.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

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Day 1001 AF

Sup, gang. Itā€™s 3:23 am. I canā€™t sleep.

We spent the night at my momā€™s last night. I couldnā€™t sleep there either. I was tossing and turning. I got like 3 hrs tops. Felt like a zombie today. My sisterā€™s baby shower went well. I saw a few uncles and aunts I had not seen in a while. My uncle offered me a beer, but I declined. He asked why. Told him it wasnā€™t for me, and it gives me stomach problems. That was it. He didnā€™t bother me again. It was good to catch up with the family. We had some good laughs.

We got invited to another party today, but weā€™re a little burnt out. Debating on going.

Gonna try and sleep now. Iā€™m still catching up with some posts.

Found this pic at my momā€™s apartment. My mom and I. Prom night at my wifeā€™s school.

Goodnite, yā€™all. ODAAT :heart:

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Day 135

Had an anxious night. Iā€™m getting better at handling these, but waking up at 3 is not the greatest. I feel half ok, though, and itā€™s Sunday. Taking time to meditate this morning. Going to have a peaceful day :peace_symbol: :dove: :heart:

Lots of love to all

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2001, a sober odyssey!

20 months, and a bit. Looking forward to 2 yrs now!!

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Hey all, checking in on day 1491. I hope everybody has a good one!

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@Laner Congratulations :clap::tada::clap:

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1433

Lovely productive day today. Made a batch of coleslaw so dinner will be easy for a couple of days. Spent some one on one time with both kids. Got some grading done.
It is rainy and stuffy but not boiling hot so Iā€™ll take it.

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