2y5m2d
Morning TS fam! Its going to be a bright and hot, sunny day here in Alberta. Temps are supposed to rise apparently over the next couple weeks to mid - high 30°C. Not sure if im looking forward to that. A bit hot for my liking.
I woke up at 520am to do my workout, which felt incredible! Just folding laundry now and then my son and I will head out to the grocery store for a few things. Tonight we have a hospital stay overnight. Hes getting a sleep study done to check ventilator settings… make sure they are still appropriate for his sleep. And then at 6am tmrw we get asked to leave the sleep study, where we will then have to wait 2 hours before he goes in for his MRI at 8am. Busy next couple of days. But grateful that they are both finally getting done.
Thats about it for me. Have a fantastic addiction free day everyone!
Day 23 - lots on the go, but it is a gorgeous day. Did some chores this morning and making sure to get to the gym before some appointments later today.
Wishing everyone another day of strength, peace and gratitude! Much love.
Day 139 . Still mentally dealing with Rocky full of conflict last 4 days. Want to stay in bed but No I am off to AA this morning. Praying my HP remove the negativity from my being. I am such a better person sober. I see it and feel it. How come the closest ones to you can’t?
3 different kind of couscous salads (so cold and filled with vegetables, raisins, nuts, figs, halloumi cheese ore feta cheese), lettuce, a tomato salad and hamburger (meat ore vegetarian) between a bun baked in garlic
102 days sober
My anxiety has been terrible today. It got bad when I was working on the trauma workbook. It just brought up a lot today and I got overwhelmed. I had a long walk and exercised. Did what I could to lower it but it just lingered. I even had thoughts of drinking but I pushed through. I think I’m going to take a break from the workbook tomorrow…and pick it up again the day after. I wish this was all easier.
I’m glad to see you Indi. I’m very glad you’re alive. Indeed you’re lucky lady. Now please. Please understand that this is your last chance and act accordingly. You’re crazy lucky indeed but your luck is running out.
A couple of observations from my own experience:
The people I mingled with throughout my life (I’m 58), the smokers, the dope users, the drinkers, they die early. On average. So at 58 I already lost a lot of friends, especially those from my teens and twens. And I remember my reaction when one of my friends died when I still was in active addiction. I used. Hard. It was the only coping mechanism I had. Looking back it only made things worse for myself and for everyone around me. Looking back I can see what a useless exercise it was. Looking back I see the madness of it. It’s a suicide attempt trying to deal with somebody else’s demise. While I remember how logical it seemed to do back then. Active addiction turns the truth on its head.
Alcohol teams are good and useful and sometimes needed to keep us on the right track. But what really helps is peer support. We need each other. In whatever form. I found it here, been heer for 5 years every day. People find it in AA, NA, SMART, Dharma, and many more recovery programs. Online and face to face. I am lucky enough to be working in addiction care and I benefit from that contact every day I work. We can’t do it alone. W need each other. Professionals are good and nice and helpful but it us, this group of folks that have problems with substance abuse, us addicts, us alcoholics, who have to do this together. Only we can truly understand each other and only we can help each other. Please find your own sober tribe Indi. Don’t die
I’m sorry it’s so hard friend. It is. Take all the time you need. And keep talking about it wherever it feels good and safe to do. Congrats on 102 days of beautiful sobriety. Keep going. It’s hard but it’s so worth it.
Cheking in on day 22. Sent out another job application today and answered a recruiter. Only if i keep applying i will finally get my next job. Spent my day at the library and went to the gym. Now the difficult part of the day comes… the evening. The plan is to do some laundry, cook, do some embroidery and just keep busy so i dont touch my games and youtube
Only 7 days sober but physically I feel really good. I don’t ever wanna experience hangover again. Now I’m just gonna grind forward and not looking back. I have only this moment and I’m so glad I’m sober and I have no cravings. I can see some light in the end of the tunnel although I’m still really depressed and full of fear.
Thank you guys for sharing your journeys! They are extremely inspirational!
