103 days sober
My anxiety was high again today. Instead of the trauma workbook this morning I did some exercise and attempted some meditation. It didn’t make my anxiety go completely away but it helped me get through the day more sane.
I opened up a new translation project today. Ironically it’s translating some material for alcohol recovery into Uzbek. I found it really interesting…it’s stuff I’ve read before but having to translate the material makes me have to look at it a bit differently. Or just makes a different part of my brain work at it differently. If that makes sense?
It also made me start thinking about the future here and I went into a rabbit hole of language research and found that there isn’t any material about alcohol recovery available in Kyrgyz. Anyways I’m thinking about how we could really use something like this here and maybe its something I can do or get more involved in. I always feel lucky that as an English speaker I have so many resources available but I look at friends here who have similar struggles and have nothing available in their own language. And I think it could also help me.
Thanks love. You are so right and I appreciate you saying so. I needed to hear that today. The self made ceilings is something I really need to stay away from.
2y5m3d
Made it thru the night with my son. We had an amazing RT there doing the sleep study procedure. I made sure to thank her for how amazing a job she did. Now my son is in his MRI. And of course im sitting here waiting, feeling all emotional. Im just a mess 
I seem to get this way during his MRIs. I am praying that all is well with his brainstem tumor. We will find out results this coming Monday.
Once we get home, Im going to see about doing a workout. Hubby stayed home from work so i might be able to squeeze some exercise in. We will see. Not much else happening today. Going to take it easy for the most part bcuz I didnt get much rest last night. Hope everyone is doing well! 
44.80 days
It’s 11:30a right now. Let’s see if I can make it to sundown…
Epic clock music from Interstellar
Checking in with 929 days. Hanging on, anxiety have been more present lately. Part bothering me the most is the eatingpart. Always feeling like it gets stuck or wont go down…
Happy Birthday to your daughter. Congratulations on 100 days.
Checking in day 197 AF 
Checking in at the end of day 4.
Gone back to treatment and have been offered a place in a rehab centre in Liverpool - I live 205 miles away and I’m only 21, so I’m terrified. But, after my last relapse? I’m starting to think it’s for the best.
I told my support worker I’d give myself “one more chance” out in the community to prove to myself I could maintain my sobriety, but who am I kidding, I have no “one last chance” left!
My last detox on the weekend barely worked because I’ve had so many previously and my body has adapted to it. I was told by the nurses that the next time I relapse, they’ll be no medication that will reverse the withdrawal and, at absolute best, I’ll end up in the ICU.
Scary, exhausting times and big decisions to make. But I promised my support worker I’d be completely truthful about my substance use (I’d started to pretend I wasn’t using anymore as I didn’t want anyone to know how bad things had gotten) so that’s a step in the right direction, I suppose.
In the meantime, I’m still breathing, still sober and still here, that’s all I can ask for.
Thank you for the love everyone. I’m still recovering and too exhausted to respond to everyone, but I have read and appreciate every message x
Checking in day 8, alcohol and weed free. Although my reality feels still so disturbed and unreal, I’m starting to see some hope. I know I can do this. Heck, back in the days I was 5 yrs sober until my divorce from my ex-wife, mother of my three kids. After that shit I went really harsh downward spiral and started to drink booze and smoke MJ like a maniac which lasted over 10 yrs. Now I know that this time I’m gonna succeed, I have the right mindset, a therapist and AA/NA online meetings and all of you, guys!
These US Navy SEAL sayings have helped me a alot:
ONLY EASY DAY WAS YESTERDAY!
EMBRACE THE SUCK!
Hey back here again on day 3 over the past few months I’ve absolutely hit rock bottom losing everything day by day and have been having health problems due to taking drugs and alcohol I just really need to stop and try and create a life for myself
i just left work so right now I’m feeling okay just tired, it usually gets bad at night but I will check in if it does 
Welcome back and congratulations day 3. Keep reaching out here and maybe try a outside or online meeting
Checking in 140 whole days. I am in record territory for me. AA meeting this morning. I was told I was glowing. Will definitely post gratitude later. Sneak preview… almost 5 months sober with no regrets or craving struggles, I have lost 8 1/2 pounds since July 1st Hip healing nicely, back to gym pool and I am having a great hair day!
I am looking at at least 25 pounds of home grown tomatoes on counter. Tomato sauce is on the agenda to freeze as much as I can. I love working in kitchen when the universe is smiling.
Yes I will be attending meetings in my area aswel was at one tonight
Day 23
Had a good start into the day with therapy and going to the library. Then had a breakdown after my boyfriend called and we had a disagreement. I just couldnt stop sobbing and felt so alone. But still i didnt start the games or youtube, just continued on my embroidery and even ended up going for a walk right after sunset. Looking at it objectively i think i should be proud, just a couple weeks ago this would surely have been the start of a gaming frenzy till at least 2 in the morning. But actually i feel empty inside.
Congrats @tailee17 keep it going! I love having homemade food in the freezer. So good for those days where i cant be asked to cook something that takes a long time.
Oh that’s brilliant. I do hope that you are able to do something to provide more support for others. Sorry today was a bit rough with anxiety. Sending you hugs – you are doing great!
@butterflymoonwoman Sending positive vibes your way. Hopeful for great results from today’s MRI 
Glad you were able to go to the gym today and release some anxious emotions. Yeah to an amazing RT
@vagabond Whats going on? Work your recovery and you will make it to sundown and sun rise ODAAT. You are doing great with your 44+ days – stay connected friend. This will pass
@lile01 OH man that is a big decision but I do feel like its your only option right now. Trying it on your own is not wise as past has shown and the thought that meds will not work if you relapse again 
That is some scary ass shit! Do this for you – 205 miles away is what you need right now. You will not be alone – we will be with you. Sending you love – loads of love. ODAAT
YES!! I love this! You have done this before and now you have more tools to utilize. Keep pushing forward friend – you are doing great 
@mossy91 great to see you back with us friend – congrats on day 3. This is a nasty disease and we can not win it over with willpower alone. I had to change up my patterns and routines. Reach out for support and find ways to keep me busy so that the urges did not consume me. Keep at it – we are right here with you.
@sadmemequeen Glad you are good now and yes – please do check in if you start to feel off. Big hugs Meghan
@tailee17 record territory!!! I absolutely love it! Glowing eh? See that sobriety shine on you Keep kicking ass my friend – 140 days strong
@adultimprover Congrats on your 3+ weeks – you should most definitely be proud. It is not easy to change learned behavior. You found a healthy outlet to deal with the disagreement. Great work!
Midafternoon check in… I have not worked out today and i’m ok with that. I have however been thinking about the hard liquor in our fridge outside. It has been calling me on and off all day. My pain is at an all time high and i’m fed up and this would be a temp fix but at least temporarily i’ll be at peace. NOT! i know better and i really don’t want to poison myself.
Its been a day on the go. I don’t feel like cooking so its a grill night. Got me my favortie Kombucha and i’m ready to do this! I have decided that i will take myself to the movies where its safe. A new horror movie Longlegs is out and it looks interesting … we shall see.
We will continue to have shit days and our bodies / minds will make it hard for us to continue at times but remember that our DOC will never be the answer. We can NOT heal if we consume our DOC.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening – sending you all so much love
Day 1306,
“Fear is an opportunity to move deeper”.
Of course without the booze
Have a sober 24 Hours