thank you 
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-9-
This is where the line is drawn, see
You can’t take my soul away from me
__________________________________________________________
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Evening check in. Almost finished day 3. I can not believe my thoughts already!! I have a camping trip in a couple of weeks and i was already justifying drinking then. Like seriously??? Luckily a trying to be sober friend is pulling out of a bender and just talking to her reminded me i do not want to be doing that. Praying to stop, going through withdrawals. None of it. I’m about to put away dinner and go to bed. Work went good. I have a meeting tomorrow and im a little bit excited for it. Honestly having the drinking thoughts so soon after my last slip scared me. But im committed and making myself do things i haven’t before so im very hopeful.
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Day 638
Today was rough. but I made it through. Im laying in my bed, going to watch tv and veg out for a while…
Here’s to one more day at a time
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1858
Very glad the weather was good and I got out and rode my
yesterday. I guess I should adjust a bit and go for shorter rides as this showery weather seems to be the norm this summer. But I love these longer rides so much.
Today will be hot and humid and end in some big t-storms. Long work day ahead as there’s a team afternoon planned talking policies and other blabla 
. So first half a day of experience work and then a full afternoon of talking with colleagues.
I’ll be OK. It’ll be OK. I’m rested and I’m sober and clean. I’ll have as good a day as I can an I expect all of you to do the same. Clean and sober. Love from the beach.
@Binx Here’s hoping you made it through the day and you’re resting now. These memories hurt and can hunt you. Sounds to me emdr might help. It helps lots of people with similar traumatic experiences and memories. Alcohol, om the other hand, helps no one in the end. Well you know. Big hugs friend 
@SadMemeQueen You’re not alone Megan. Hang in there. We’re in this together
@Scorpn Good days and bad ones my friend. Using never helps. Glad you’re here. Rest
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Sometimes when we’re used to everything being not so good and really messed up all the time, when we start feeling good about things that are happening, sometimes instead of feeling joy and happiness and satisfaction, the opposite is felt.
Perhaps this is what’s happening to you, now at a time when you should feel some comfort that things in your life are more positive than they have been in the past, your brain wants to turn around and say ‘oh but you’re used to everything being all messed up, so why don’t I hurt myself?’
Please, please, please, don’t
Somehow slowly start to appreciate the fact that things can be OK.
That you can be OK.
That you can do a good job and everything doesn’t have to end up not working out and a big disaster.
Pat yourself on the back and say I am going forward. I am getting better. I am growing.
Please again do not hurt yourself, I’m glad that you’re posting and talking about it and I’m so glad that you’re here.
@SadMemeQueen
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Glad you just told us about how you felt. This thread is for that. We are not here to please eachother with only happy stories. Life is good and bad, they don’t exist on itself.
I’m sorry you feel so sad. I miss my mom too. Had grief counseling myself and for what it’s worth: it helped me a lot!
Have you ever concidered EMDR therapy for the PTSD? It can be of great help.
I hope you feel a bit better today @Binx 
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*Day 2120 
Had a good day overall.
After the arguement with my hubby I went for the traing and came back home tired and satisfied.
The tattoo session was longer then expected. It took 5 long houres to get what I wanted to fill in the empty spot at my arm. But very happy with the result.
Here is just a part from it, it’s halfway my arm in between 2 other older tattoos.
Today? Work. First day at work after my 1 week holiday. I heard it very busy at work
Have a good day ore night all!
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I’m here, I’m alive I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 132
Finally some sunshine.
Planning to do garden work today, and make it on outdoor day.
We picked up the 14 y/o from his friend yesterday evening. Actually we picked them both up in the village because they where to tired to take ride the bike back.
My husband tried to drive for the first time after his illness. It went good, but when he got home he nearly fell again because he got so dizzy. So no more driving for him for a while.
14 y/o had fun at his friends house but don’t want to go back and sleep there ever again.
Friends room was too messy, and he didn’t recognize any food in their house. (For those of you who might have missed it my 14 y/o is High functioning autistic)
I said that next time he could bring his friend here for a sleepover instead. He said he’ll think about it. Cause he doesn’t really want anyone to mess around with his things that he has placed in perfect order.
That’s all Folks
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
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Day 19
Ohhhh boy was it a warm one here today and the humidity dang near took me out 
. I had a fairly decent day, I ended up running for work most of the day but it was peaceful 
our pool is at 72 degrees I think I may try to go for a swim tomorrow after work or at least try too. Our little guy is starting to get into a routine so thats getting better, I’ve been reading through some of the threads and it’s been helping with my fomo. I’ve also been listening to some good podcasts
@SoberWalker I really dig your tattoo they did a really good job!
@mno it does look like you had beautiful weather!
Well I’m going to hit the hey I hope everybody has an enjoyable day
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Day 381.working 6.40-5 today. Got alot to do. Not in a stressed way. Just maximising the day as the weather is rubbish again.
I need to pay attention to all the benefits of not drinking. I am finding myself less defensive at work. (it’s prob not easy to see when I am as I’m pretty good at managing myself) but I genuinely feel less defensive and positive and well regarded. Which is nice.
I was approached by another service further up the country for how we go about change here. Where I use to work has lost its way. I think that’s down to a lack of clear vision.
Anyway… Alcohol free version of me is a lot bloody better to be around than the tetchy wine drinker
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Day #219
Yesterday was really hot in Bulgaria. I was mostly at home. During weekend i was at my village so i was a little bit a country girl 
i was very relaxing time. To get away from the big city and problems.
For today maybe i will start again painting by numbers i haven’t do that for a long time. I will try to start enjoying being at home during a working week
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Bulgaria, I’ve totally missed that, sorry.
We’ve been actually looking into maybe going there for a weekend, any travel tips?
I know Sunny Beach seems very popular among tourists, but I’ve also read a lot of bad reviews about that one.
Would be nice with some heat here as well. Today is the first day in over a week it’s actually supposed to not raining and be a temperature over +12 C.
In my opinion doing something creative is always a good idea, no matter what it might be 
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Here in Bulgaria this week will be more than 30 C almost everywhere
Regarding the visit it depends where you wanna go - seaside, mountains or in cities.
For seaside - my favourite is Nessebar Nessebar, Bulgaria - Holiday guide of Nessebar, Bulgaria | Holiday apartments and villas with private pool in Bulgaria its really near to Sunny Beach you can visit it going by a “train”
For mountain - well a lot of choices again
Bansko, Borovets Lakes and Mountains Holidays in Bulgaria | Balkan Holidays
For cities - Sofia, Veliko Tarnovo , Plovdiv 10 best Bulgaria Historic Sites to visit in 2022 - Visit Bulgaria
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Nothing of value to add, and no real place to put it…
Just feeling down.
Wishing to be a child held by someone safe and told it will be ok.
I am that person to all the kids in my life, and wishing I had a person to be that for me.
Sorry for the pity party… Just needed to get it out somewhere
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220 days
Quite a few errands to do today. My daughter is having some friends over this weekend so wanted to get a few things.
Work tomorrow morning, back on day shift. Kids are going to stay with their grandparents for a coupke days so it’ll just be me at home (wife is on nights)
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Thank you so much. I alla really appreciate it.
We’re not really after laying in a Beach doing nothing. (personally I would love that,I love the ocean, family not so much)
Otherwise we love museums, old castles, authentic culture, local food, beautiful nature and of course kid friendly places. Since we’re traveling with the boys.
I’ll be checking out your links. Sofia is on top of the list for now, as we have direct flights to there.
Once again, a huge Thank you.
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You’re welcome 
any time 
now is time for the second coffee for the day 
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I’m on my second cup as well
But I’m drinking decaf mixed with hot chocolate.
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Hey Menno! Thankfully, I did make it through the night I was extremely anxious writing my post, but I had some wonderful replies that corrected my thinking quickly. My alcohol addiction is connected with my inability to process emotional pain or stress, so it’s dangerous territory for me when I am going through something. But, as it was pointed out to me, I came here and talked it out rather than white knuckling it on my own. Thank God I did 
You mentioned EDMR, and I googled it. It looks very interesting, and definitely worth a try. I’ll aim to look for a place on the other side of our house move - hopefully in the next couple of weeks. The sale hasn’t been helping my stress and anxiety, we have been ‘buying’ it since the first week of last September. The seller has the worst lawyer that ever existed, and there were some rights-of-way to resolve with land registry. I will be very glad to have our closing date!
Thank you for replying I hope your meeting went well
@soberwalker Thanks so much for your reply too Claudia, it means a lot. Tomorrow is my birthday, but I’ve never really celebrated them since my mum passed away. It was on my birthday that I had to help my Dad choose my mum’s coffin, so that is stuck in my head every year too. I was in so much shock, it didn’t feel real. I’ll definitely look into EDMR, that’s two recommendations, so there must be something to it!
Love the tattoo by the way, it looks great. Five hours though, that’s a long time. You’ve great patience! I hope you enjoyed your week off, and you managed to resolve things with your husband. Hopefully work isn’t too rough on you when you go back today 
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