Checking in on day 628 AF.
Hope you’re all doing well. 
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Going to be a couple of tropical days here. I’m free today (except for therapy this morning), work tomorrow. It’ll be OK. I’m sober and clean. I’m remembering the time I used to drink even more when the weather was this warm. Under the false impression that alcohol would help quench my thirst, while the opposite is true, alcohol dehydrates.
It’s one of the ways our addicted brains make us turn the truth upside down. Making us believe indulging in our addictions would help with anything. While the opposite is true. It won’t quench our thirst, both for real and metaphorically. It will just put us ever deeper in the hole until there is no escape possible. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come from it. Love from my ride yesterday.
@wahtisnormal You’re doing a great job of figuring out what’s bothering you. Planning holidays together is stressful BTW. You’re doing great friend. No problem communicating your feelings here 
. I’m glad you’re here as we’re in this together. Keep going.
@Butterflymoonwoman Thankful you’re here Dana. Good days and hard ones. You’re life’s not easy but you’re doing it. ODAAT. Finding some time for yourself is very important I feel, whether it’s in the gym or somewhere else. 
@Tragicfarinelli Very glad you’re here and sober and clean friend
@HolySquid Huge congrats on 500 days friend!!!
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Congratulations with your 500 days milestone @HolySquid 
And @Noshame for the 1 year no nicotine
*Day 2130 
Going to the movie tonight. But the friend who I lately expressed my bouderaries to would arrange that. So I still haven’t heared from her.
Going to wait. My usual me, the “I wanna be in control” me, would already have send her a what’s app. Not this time
Today? Work and tonight? We’ll see: the movies ore a chill night at home 
Have a good day ore night TS friends 
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Day 391. Hoping for a quiet day today. We had visitors yesterday, which I found tiring
Eveeryone was drinking. And to be honest I’m bored of watching middle class people drinking wine and fizz every day and thinking it’s not a problem.
It’s bloody rife. Alcohol abuse is so normal.and visible. So odd really.
Have a fab day folks
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I’m here, I’m alive I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 142.
Today we’re going to the Western theme park.
Or well we’re supposed to be on our way.
Engjy Benjy needed some help with a delivery yesterday so we took a road trip and helped him.
He was also supposed to come and fix something with the Volvo yesterday but never arrived.
Today we didn’t even make it to the local gas station before the car stopped. A friendly citizen is helping us. Engjy Benjy says that it’s nothing major. So we have faith in that.
If he’s wrong he’s in trouble 
I’ll keep you updated.
And for those of you who’ve been following my last posts about vacations this is how it usually goes when we’re put on adventures
That’s all Folks 
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
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Morning guys 32 days sober checking in, looking forward to my weekend and the summer holidays means I can get an extra half hour in bed every morning no more school runs for a while yay 
Hope you all have a great Friday take care
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230 days
At work today. Halfway through the shift. Supposed to be a storm coming in tonight. Not too bad so far, just a bit of rain. We can get a bit busy in bad weather so nightshift out in the rain should be interesting.
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Yayyy! No asphalt today!!! 
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@zzz I hate the smell of tar. Glad you are hitting a different road today 
@MrFantastik Do you get a lot of floods with the rain?
@DamianUK Enjoy sleeping in 
and your holidays. Are you getting away somewhere?
@MrsOdh Enjoy your life lived as an adventure and keep us posted about more shenanigans.
@Timetochange I totally get you. Whenever I am at a party and see many people get drunk like there is nothing to it, I really am amazed how they think this is normal. And then they will keep telling me the amounts they drink every weekday night. And no, they obviously don’t have a problem with alcohol 
There is this idea in peoples heads how an ‘alcoholic’ looks and behaves and it never is them. 
@SoberWalker Have fun at the movies. What are you going to watch?
@GOKU2019 Enjoy your get together with friends. Isn’t it nice not to have to care about a substance and just to look forward to socializing? 
@Just_Laura Oh, so sorry for your headache and your symptoms. Sending you cool and relaxing vibes 
@wahtisnormal I think you are doing a really great job recognising the patterns. The ways your mind works, how your thoughts come up, the emotions you are experiencing. That’s exactly the stuff we try to run away from with our addictions. And you are not only not giving in to the urges. You are the exact opposite, going the whole nine yards, and actually investigating your situation. This is truly impressive 
I really hope a mindfulness exercise will bring you some peace 
@Butterflymoonwoman I hope you are getting the very much needed sleep right now. We all feel like a failure, sometimes more, sometimes less. But the same way you can have urges to use and just let them pass, you can have feelings of being a failure and let them pass. It’s ok to have this feeling. That’s human. We all have them. You are human.
240 sugar
104 UPF
111 gluten
10 dairy
6 overeating
Already did my run. It’s the first time in this program where I actually jogged more then walked: 20min jogging, 10min walking altogether. I really like that 
But I’m late today with everything. Took a while yesterday to fall asleep, the night was somewhat turbulent, and it took me some time to get going this morning.
Today I am going to work on paths and AI behaviour. Some errands to do later, definitely the pool in the afternoon with today’s weather. I’m not sure I’ll get any yoga done in this heat. And in the evening I’ll be off to game night with friends. Looking forward to that.
Let’s keep it simple today and focus on peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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Checking in on day
436 no alcohol
367no vapes or ciggs 76 no for of nicotine
36 no form of marijuana
Wow am i grumpy but i dont know why
Im just going to keep to myself until i feel a little better
Everyone is still asleep and im off to work now
Kissing the wife goodbye and im outtie for the day
It wont be too bad though. 
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Starting day 76 
Setting up the dog pool on the garden and the cats play fish mini pool (it’s tiny just for paw play) and il be supervising… You will find me in the dog pool 
It’s so hot here today - the air is hot.
So just waiting as the sun leaves my garden around 2pm so it will be suitable for my fur babies to safely enjoy some outdoor time.
Depending on the air quality - if it stays hot then time will be limited.
Excited to play with them all with the water 
Have a great day everyone 
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I’m coming over Twizz…I need your paddling pool. Hot night here, didn’t sleep much more than three hours 
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@Butterflymoonwoman Oh Dana I’m so happy you didn’t pick up. Addiction, this sneaky bastard, is never sleeping. I was so tempted by the cold beer in the fridge yesterday. It was very close. Feeling like a failure is present here as well. I’m tired, overstimulated, drained… I miss running endorphins (can’t make myself out of bed before kids wake up lately). Husband took some extra work this week, he’s coming back home late, around 9pm. When he’s back he is happy to be home, he wanna chat, he wanna feel appreciated
and I’m already exhausted and I just wish I could be alone. That nobody gonna touch me, nobody gonna talk to me. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, till I close them asleep, all the time I serve someone. Zero ME time. And quiet me time is the way I recharge. But, like Menno always says, good days, bad ones too. Summer holidays not easy for us parents
I hope you gonna start feeling better soon. You are worth it. You are enough
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Day 204.
Well today I am the worst version of me imaginable: tired and grumpy me. I managed about three hours or so of sleep only due to the heat and a racing heart. No idea what that was, but I could feel anxiety and stress pumping in my chest. Tossed and turned and listened to a podcast on insomnia -ha- then switched it off in disgust… Who on earth listens to a podcast about insomnia at 2.30am?
I’m a bit stressed at the moment with the flat I live in, there’s an ongoing leak in my en suite that now has black mould…
This has been going on for five or more months and I’m engaged with both neighbours above and above them who claim no responsibility. The housing association are shit and also seem to push paper around a desk all day. Of course it’s not their responsibility. It’s doing MY NUT IN. I can’t do anything where I am situated in this situation below…I feel like all I do is moan at everyone and tread on fragile feelings… My Italian neighbours spent a fortune on bathroom renovations and are VERY TOUCHY about it now. The other neighbour is an idiot who feeds pigeons from his balcony who then shit on my balcony. My cats are stupid enough to eat it
We also have to have our front doors adjusted to be in line with fire regs and also the scaffolding will start going up soon to change the balcony to galvanised aluminium for fire regs. The balcony will cost £7,000 which I have to pay despite it being a build issue. This is to replace four planks of wood. I kid you not.
My heart is screaming get out, get out, get out. My head is screaming you can’t, you can’t, you can’t… yet… Equity and regulation issues currently ongoing for years rendering the place unsaleable. Kick in the teeth that.
And my mosquito bites are back again after six weeks of steroids, antibiotics, antibacterial and topical creams, antihistamines and general misery. What the hell is going on with me. I do have an auto immune disease, but honestly, I feel so old and rubbish.
I’m tired. This will pass. Sorry for the rant. Let’s do this crap sober. Every day. 
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So there are no bathrooms today at the store
Outside porta potties for customers and employees
Mskes my job easier as i dont have to clean bathrooms but stressful because that’s just the most annoying thing
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It is way too hot 
inside.
And outside 
Outdoor swimming and picnics would be good on days like this. Probably all fully booked Im going have a look at the lido and ponds at Hampstead
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I had a huge problem with black mould. Had a legal case and won it.
Have you tried a housing solicitor?
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Hardly ever in the cbd, we had a couple of really bad storms a year or so ago, but in summer. The flooding from that resulted in a few fatalities and also some from landslides.
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@AdultImprover thank you
@tailee17 I’m glad your post-op went well
@HolySquid congrats on 500 days 
I hope the award ceremony went well 
enjoy your summer break
@Brian1965uk I can relate sending strength 🩵
@Lighter save a seat for me! (and my 2 cats) 
@Conor80 congrats on 1800 days Spain sounds like quite the adventure 
@Noshame congrats on your year of no vape or cigs 
@EarnIt good to read from you congrats on 200+ days sending strength 🩵
@Butterflymoonwoman I like the way you reframed your thoughts 
I hope you were able to get to the gym this morning and feel better for it keep battling those urges, sending strength 🩵
@wahtisnormal I’d be very anxious if half the trip wasn’t planned too. I hope it all works out and you do have a great time As for those anxious thoughts, meditation helps me most of the time. Depression and anxiety can both FRO!! 🩵
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@Just_Laura I hope your headache is gone when you wake up
@MrsOdh oh no! I hope you managed to make it to the theme park
@acromouse congrats on double digits no dairy
@Twizzlers that sounds like such a fun day, enjoy!
@Tragicfarinelli that’s alot, I’d be stressed too, especially after a sh*t night sending calming vibes
1438 days no alcohol.
903 days no cocaine.
418 days no vape.
3 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
The contractor came yesterday, there is now light in the bathroom 
I’ve now done my morning routine 5 days in a row. I’m really pleased about this, because I did it for 2 whole years after I implemented it, without missing a single day, but it slipped away from me a while back now, so I’m determined to make it stick again.
I set myself the challenge of no more ED related resets for the rest of the month, and so far so good, I have had cravings but have managed to tell myself no, because of my challenge. It feels like a good tactic. Obviously the goal is to not reset at all going forwards, but that’s unrealistic for me according to the ED clinic, since they say my binges are due to traumas and I have 2 years of therapy starting on the 26th for it. They also are concerned that if the binge-eating stops, which of my other former addictions would pop back up. Let’s see though, I managed 56 days earlier this year so I’m hopeful.
🩵
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