Congratulations with your 500 days milestone @HolySquid
And @Noshame for the 1 year no nicotine
*Day 2130
Going to the movie tonight. But the friend who I lately expressed my bouderaries to would arrange that. So I still havenāt heared from her.
Going to wait. My usual me, the āI wanna be in controlā me, would already have send her a whatās app. Not this time
Day 391. Hoping for a quiet day today. We had visitors yesterday, which I found tiring
Eveeryone was drinking. And to be honest Iām bored of watching middle class people drinking wine and fizz every day and thinking itās not a problem.
Itās bloody rife. Alcohol abuse is so normal.and visible. So odd really.
Iām here, Iām alive Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 142.
Today weāre going to the Western theme park.
Or well weāre supposed to be on our way.
Engjy Benjy needed some help with a delivery yesterday so we took a road trip and helped him.
He was also supposed to come and fix something with the Volvo yesterday but never arrived.
Today we didnāt even make it to the local gas station before the car stopped. A friendly citizen is helping us. Engjy Benjy says that itās nothing major. So we have faith in that.
If heās wrong heās in trouble
Iāll keep you updated.
And for those of you whoāve been following my last posts about vacations this is how it usually goes when weāre put on adventures
Thatās all Folks
Wishing yāall a wonderful day.
Morning guys 32 days sober checking in, looking forward to my weekend and the summer holidays means I can get an extra half hour in bed every morning no more school runs for a while yay
230 days
At work today. Halfway through the shift. Supposed to be a storm coming in tonight. Not too bad so far, just a bit of rain. We can get a bit busy in bad weather so nightshift out in the rain should be interesting.
@zzz I hate the smell of tar. Glad you are hitting a different road today @MrFantastik Do you get a lot of floods with the rain? @DamianUK Enjoy sleeping in and your holidays. Are you getting away somewhere? @MrsOdh Enjoy your life lived as an adventure and keep us posted about more shenanigans. @Timetochange I totally get you. Whenever I am at a party and see many people get drunk like there is nothing to it, I really am amazed how they think this is normal. And then they will keep telling me the amounts they drink every weekday night. And no, they obviously donāt have a problem with alcohol There is this idea in peoples heads how an āalcoholicā looks and behaves and it never is them. @SoberWalker Have fun at the movies. What are you going to watch? @GOKU2019 Enjoy your get together with friends. Isnāt it nice not to have to care about a substance and just to look forward to socializing? @Just_Laura Oh, so sorry for your headache and your symptoms. Sending you cool and relaxing vibes @wahtisnormal I think you are doing a really great job recognising the patterns. The ways your mind works, how your thoughts come up, the emotions you are experiencing. Thatās exactly the stuff we try to run away from with our addictions. And you are not only not giving in to the urges. You are the exact opposite, going the whole nine yards, and actually investigating your situation. This is truly impressive I really hope a mindfulness exercise will bring you some peace @Butterflymoonwoman I hope you are getting the very much needed sleep right now. We all feel like a failure, sometimes more, sometimes less. But the same way you can have urges to use and just let them pass, you can have feelings of being a failure and let them pass. Itās ok to have this feeling. Thatās human. We all have them. You are human.
Already did my run. Itās the first time in this program where I actually jogged more then walked: 20min jogging, 10min walking altogether. I really like that
But Iām late today with everything. Took a while yesterday to fall asleep, the night was somewhat turbulent, and it took me some time to get going this morning.
Today I am going to work on paths and AI behaviour. Some errands to do later, definitely the pool in the afternoon with todayās weather. Iām not sure Iāll get any yoga done in this heat. And in the evening Iāll be off to game night with friends. Looking forward to that.
Letās keep it simple today and focus on peace, kindness and freedom friends
Setting up the dog pool on the garden and the cats play fish mini pool (itās tiny just for paw play) and il be supervisingā¦ You will find me in the dog pool
Itās so hot here today - the air is hot.
So just waiting as the sun leaves my garden around 2pm so it will be suitable for my fur babies to safely enjoy some outdoor time.
Depending on the air quality - if it stays hot then time will be limited.
Excited to play with them all with the water
@Butterflymoonwoman Oh Dana Iām so happy you didnāt pick up. Addiction, this sneaky bastard, is never sleeping. I was so tempted by the cold beer in the fridge yesterday. It was very close. Feeling like a failure is present here as well. Iām tired, overstimulated, drainedā¦ I miss running endorphins (canāt make myself out of bed before kids wake up lately). Husband took some extra work this week, heās coming back home late, around 9pm. When heās back he is happy to be home, he wanna chat, he wanna feel appreciated
and Iām already exhausted and I just wish I could be alone. That nobody gonna touch me, nobody gonna talk to me. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, till I close them asleep, all the time I serve someone. Zero ME time. And quiet me time is the way I recharge. But, like Menno always says, good days, bad ones too. Summer holidays not easy for us parents
I hope you gonna start feeling better soon. You are worth it. You are enough
Well today I am the worst version of me imaginable: tired and grumpy me. I managed about three hours or so of sleep only due to the heat and a racing heart. No idea what that was, but I could feel anxiety and stress pumping in my chest. Tossed and turned and listened to a podcast on insomnia -ha- then switched it off in disgustā¦ Who on earth listens to a podcast about insomnia at 2.30am?
Iām a bit stressed at the moment with the flat I live in, thereās an ongoing leak in my en suite that now has black mouldā¦
This has been going on for five or more months and Iām engaged with both neighbours above and above them who claim no responsibility. The housing association are shit and also seem to push paper around a desk all day. Of course itās not their responsibility. Itās doing MY NUT IN. I canāt do anything where I am situated in this situation belowā¦I feel like all I do is moan at everyone and tread on fragile feelingsā¦ My Italian neighbours spent a fortune on bathroom renovations and are VERY TOUCHY about it now. The other neighbour is an idiot who feeds pigeons from his balcony who then shit on my balcony. My cats are stupid enough to eat it
We also have to have our front doors adjusted to be in line with fire regs and also the scaffolding will start going up soon to change the balcony to galvanised aluminium for fire regs. The balcony will cost Ā£7,000 which I have to pay despite it being a build issue. This is to replace four planks of wood. I kid you not.
My heart is screaming get out, get out, get out. My head is screaming you canāt, you canāt, you canātā¦ yetā¦ Equity and regulation issues currently ongoing for years rendering the place unsaleable. Kick in the teeth that.
And my mosquito bites are back again after six weeks of steroids, antibiotics, antibacterial and topical creams, antihistamines and general misery. What the hell is going on with me. I do have an auto immune disease, but honestly, I feel so old and rubbish.
Iām tired. This will pass. Sorry for the rant. Letās do this crap sober. Every day.
It is way too hot inside.
And outside
Outdoor swimming and picnics would be good on days like this. Probably all fully booked Im going have a look at the lido and ponds at Hampstead
Hardly ever in the cbd, we had a couple of really bad storms a year or so ago, but in summer. The flooding from that resulted in a few fatalities and also some from landslides.
@Just_Laura I hope your headache is gone when you wake up @MrsOdh oh no! I hope you managed to make it to the theme park @acromouse congrats on double digits no dairy @Twizzlers that sounds like such a fun day, enjoy! @Tragicfarinelli thatās alot, Iād be stressed too, especially after a sh*t night sending calming vibes
1438 days no alcohol.
903 days no cocaine.
418 days no vape.
3 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterdayās numbersā¦
The contractor came yesterday, there is now light in the bathroom
Iāve now done my morning routine 5 days in a row. Iām really pleased about this, because I did it for 2 whole years after I implemented it, without missing a single day, but it slipped away from me a while back now, so Iām determined to make it stick again.
I set myself the challenge of no more ED related resets for the rest of the month, and so far so good, I have had cravings but have managed to tell myself no, because of my challenge. It feels like a good tactic. Obviously the goal is to not reset at all going forwards, but thatās unrealistic for me according to the ED clinic, since they say my binges are due to traumas and I have 2 years of therapy starting on the 26th for it. They also are concerned that if the binge-eating stops, which of my other former addictions would pop back up. Letās see though, I managed 56 days earlier this year so Iām hopeful.
Just looked at your numbers wow all of them are wonderful but I must say i had a big smile to see 418 no vape!! I remember when you were struggling with this and this gives so much hope to others that it can be done you are doing amazing!!
Iām so proud of you and to see this
Due to my (partially) owning the flat the leasehold agreement is very favourable towards themā¦ Itās impossible, honestly, Iām sure you have heard of these cowboy companiesā¦ So I contractually end up paying for 100% costs of repairs and remedial actions for EVERYTHING, despite my lower share of equitable assetā¦ Crap.
This has gone on too long now, I donāt have the energy left to fight them. What I will do though is (when I sell my assets share) only paint over the numerous cracks, and the next snaggers can get them to fix whatever issues Iāve had for years. They will have six months grace to do that as long as they donāt buy 100%. At over half a million I doubt many will buy outright anyway, I was hoping my quarter share was attractive when selling it.