Going ok. Thunderstorms kept me up most of the night, but getting rain here in July is rare and much appreciated. . More to come for the next week. July and I are almost friends. Almost.
Doing more exercise this week and eating well. Getting stronger. Slowly tackling some projects. As Fall approaches my energy goes up. I’m starting a major landscape project in September which will make selling for more easier.
So happy to be sober today and have a future.
@CATMANCAM ok buddy, pack your backpack and your cat carriers, the sunshine van is coming! It’s funny, I had no idea I would have any takers/wannabe Hippies . Now we’re gonna have to get a bus like Magic Bus. Have a good day and I’m happy you’re feeling brighter and putting a new streak together. We’re with you.
@Tragicfarinelli that sux. I am wondering about what Twizzlers said too. Maybe you could get a consult with a solicitor just to see if you have a case? I hope it gets resolved for you soon.
Checking in on day 411 AFAF.
I’m feeling on edge today because my 15 year old son is due to travel back from Germany this evening and his flights may be affected by the world wide IT outage. I’m checking the airline website regularly but sometimes the page doesn’t load very fast and I can feel the anxiety rising.
It’s also my 12 year old daughter’s first performance this evening for her summer theatre group. I’m going to see the play tomorrow. She’s really enjoyed the past two weeks.
I have a psychiatrist appointment next week where we’ll likely discuss medication. I’m on the highest dose of my antidepressant and the very lowest dose of my anti psychotic medication, and I think I want to maintain that for the time being. The anti psychotic helps me get a good nights sleep which is vital for my mental health. I hope I’m able to sleep tonight no matter the outcome of my son’s travel arrangements. Once again I’m glad to be doing all of this sober!
Omg every single thing u said i can relate to. I swear we are going thru the same thing lol i totally get what ur saying. Yesterday after my son went to bed, i just wanted to be alone but then i feel bad for not spending time with my husband when he gets homw from work. I feel like im being pulled in all directions. Im caring for others and not caring for myself. I know u can relate. And quiet me time is how i recharge also. Im sorry ur going thru this too, but thank u for relating bcuz i dont feel so alone in my thoughts. Its just HARD some days. I hope u know that u are enough and doing an amazing job being a mother and wife. Its not always easy. I think we need to somehow schedule time for our ourselves
Progress day 4 and 2
Hi everyone thanks for all your advice, im sucking it up ,awful night in bed last night shaking sweating spinning ,four horsemen throwing all they had but I got up didn’t fuck up and we’re halfway through the day now , got some Vitamin B+ , wrote in a journal (refused this advice for years !) and getting to a meeting asap
106 days sober
I had an anxiety attack this morning. I tried not to dwell on it but I felt discouraged after. Somedays I feel like I make good progress and somedays I feel like I’ve backtracked or regressed in some ways. And now I feel angry. I feel angry that I was abused and delt a krap childhood. I feel angry at all the people who used me and took advantage. I’m angry at my parents especially my dad. I’m angry that I am so messed up as an adult because of it. It wasn’t my fault but the consequences of having to deal with others actions is heavy and crushing. I’m angry at myself for my unhealthy coping skills as an adult. I’m just so damn angry. It’s like all the anger I’ve pushed down for years came out today. It felt uncontrollable and in a way it felt a bit good maybe?
I didn’t work today…just couldn’t concentrate on anything. I went on a hike and yelled in the mountains. Came home and exercised. Still felt angry so I started digging a hole for a toilet. Now I feel spent and sore. But I do feel better now. I’m tired and think I’ll just go to bed. Tomorrow will be a new day
Day 247. Woke up late today, not like actually late for work. But late to me, i try to get here for like 620 so i can sit and enjoy some time before actually starting at 7. I got here at 640 which was annoying to me. Looking forward to some time with my girls and idk just being present, much love everyone
2y5m6d
Woke up feeling A LOT better. I feel good about how this day is turning out. I set 2 alarms to make sure that I got up on time for the gym. I did a 1 hour workout and then made a 3 shot espresso latte for breakfast.
Went for a “Hugman” hunt with my son. These pieces of art are made from Lego:
@butterflymoonwoman Big huge hugs my friend. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. You are in no way a failure! You are kicking some serious ass in all aspects of your life. I know some days will have a set back of sorts but that is life. You are still putting in your efforts and gaining momentum with your new routines. There honestly is no set rule that over time the cravings just magically disappear or that our addiction gets easier to handle. We will unfortunately forever be addicts and our coping mechanism for so many years will be our fall back mentally. We know better now and do not need that false coping style. Glad the cravings passed and you succeeded with another sober day! I see you got a work out in – good for you. I always feel better when I start the day being active. Hungman hunt? Never heard of it but so flipping cool! Yeah to a brighter day … we are in this together love. Remember that you are not alone. @wahtisnormal 96 days Zoe – the triple digit milestone could be the cause for the intense urges? I too like to have everything for vacation. Glad you got most of it booked and think you all will have a wonderful time. Our minds can go crazy with thoughts of how are life is going – where it is going – what the future holds…etc. Most of it is out of our control. I do hope that breathing exercises and focusing on the present helped. @mrfantastik hope you all stay safe during the storm. Hoping your night shift went smoothly too @acromouse Congrats on logging more jog time today! Impressive numbers too. Hope you have a wonderful game night @noshame Sometimes the dreams set the tone for the day. Hope you are able to shake off the grumpy feeling and have a wonderful Friday @mischa84 Oh I’m sorry love. Not getting any ME time and always being on the go and having to take care of someone else (especially three toddlers) can be overwhelming. So grateful you did not pick up. Grateful you are able to get past the bad days – stay connected friend. We can help each other through these crappy days. @tragicfarinelli Sending you calming vibes. The heat can be brutal! Man it sucks not being able to sleep due to being hot. OMG that leak looks serious and the mold can cause more health issues. Just catching up – you own the flat and have people living above you? Water leaks are so tricky as they could start from anywhere . Do you have home insurance? I had to get an insurance agent in to check mine out and decipher where it was coming from. This all sounds super frustrating and then the balcony to boot – Sooo sorry friend. Mosquito bites are back too? This absolutely sucks and I’m glad you were able to rant here with us. I totally know the feeling of your body working against you and how annoying it all can be. Wishing you relief soon and some healing energy sent your way! Just read your update and that is total Horseshit. Sending luck in possibly being able to sell and move on from this place @catmancam YEAH to having light in the bathroom. Congrats on getting your morning routine done – 5days in a row !! Smart to start an attainable challenge – one challenge at a time my friend. You are doing great
@deelzebub Oh man this IT issue is insane. So sorry that its affecting your sons travels. I’m sure all will work out – hoping for safe travels home @lighter WOOHOO! 6 months no nicotine is amazing work – keep up the great streak @19801 Welcome to the community Corine – great to have you checking in with us. Keep working your recovery and gaining progress The awful symptoms don’t last so just push through and remember to stay hydrated. Do seek medical attention if the symptoms get unbearable. ODAAT friend
Oh how exciting – great news Ray! Congrats @laner Hugs my friend. I do know how crappy it can be when you are doing good and then have bad days and feel like you are regressing. It is frustrating as hell and can feel pointless. I try to remember that i have made huge progress overall and even my back slides are not as bad and don’t last as long. It is ok to be angry and let that out – you have every right to feel the anger but do not let it consume you. This is the past and you have done an amazing job building a healthier happier life for you. Hoping that you do get some good rest and have a better day tomorrow l
Checking in on Friday afternoon
I did not feel well and decided to sleep early last night. Did not sleep early but did manage to stay off my phone and all apps.
Woke up and got my walk and swim in. Had some good quality time with mom and then took on some errands so that my brother would have less on his plate today. We are in the midst of Art Fair week and that can be super hectic.
Grateful to be home and enjoying an afternoon coffee while I catch up here. Super tired but gonna try to get dinner started now so that i can rest afterwards (may not get done if i do it the other way around )
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
We made it to the theme park. And had a great day. Note to self, don’t go there during high season,half the Norwegian,German and Danish citizens where there today.
Fun thing though, yesterday when we was at the coast outside Gothenburg we met people from our village. And today in a very crowded theme park we also met people from our village. Last time we where in the theme park in heavy rain we also met people from our village.
It lives about 1000 people in this village, what are the odds that you’ll meet any of them no matter what direction you’re going for vacation?
Guess that’s what you get. The Rich people are going to the coastal towns. And the middle class “greasers” goes to play cowboys at the Western cowboy theme park.
Not doing well today. The stress of my move, and my job is overwhelming today. It’s been along time since I’ve wanted to drink and today is definitely one of those days.
The expectations of this job are unrealistic. I’m responsible to ensure others do their job. I’m not a supervisor I do not have direct reports but I’m required to make sure others simply do their job and if they don’t or if they do is wrong, it’s my responsibility, it’s my fault.
I’ve literally broken down in tears everyday this week. I’m very overwhelmed.
. More to come for the next week. July and I are almost friends. Almost.
. Now we’re gonna have to get a bus like Magic Bus. Have a good day and I’m happy you’re feeling brighter and putting a new streak together. We’re with you.
AF 
Hope everyone is having a good Friday!
