Itās been so humid here our central air evaporator coil is junk so itās been super hot in our house the last few days. I have a buddy that owns an hvac company thatās going to come look at it on Monday so weāve been melting. but the plus side is the weekend is here and I can chill in the pool and I swear I will not step out until I look like a raisin and I swear Iāve had it with the humidity. Iād totally open the windows but I swear Minnesotas mosquitos are big enough they would literally carry me off . So on to my work week weāve literally been waiting for parts since Monday-Tuesday
Nothing else showed up I pushed a broom and cleaned with two of my coworkers for the rest of the week our shop looks so freaking clean Iād literally eat off the floor. The worst part is Iād lost a couple sockets of the last year and I swore they fell behind the bench but once we got it out to clean behind it they werenāt there so the mystery goes on Iāve already replaced them but dang itās one of those things that makes you go hmmmm
@Just_Laura do you have any specific brand you prefer for the vitamins?
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.
Why did you spill the coffee?
āBecause someone bumped into me!!!ā
Wrong answer.
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.
Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out.
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. Itās easy to fake it, until you get rattled.
So we have to ask ourselvesā¦ āwhatās in my cup?"
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratitude, peace and humility?
Anger, bitterness, victim mentality and quitting tendencies?
Life provides the cup, YOU choose how to fill it.
Today letās work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation, resilience, positivity; and kindness, gentleness and love for others.
@Tragicfarinelli Iāve noticed that my heart tends to race at night when itās really hot too. I think it has to do with the body trying to cool down Iām sorry youāre dealing with mold. I had that problem a couple years ago and it took my landlord over 6 months to fix I donāt recall reading about your mosquito bite issue, but it reminded me of something I went thru. I hate to even bring it up but I feel like I should just in case. In 2010, I thought I had recurrent mosquito bites but they lasted too long. My ex wasnāt affected, so I thought I had a skin condition. Nothing relieved it. In the end it turned out we had bedbugs I pray this isnāt your case but I would feel bad not mentioning it and finding out it was, weeks from now, bc the sooner you know, the better.
520
I didnāt realize it was almost full moon. That would definitely explain my pain intensity. Actually felt pretty good most of the day, until the end. Work had me in a piss poor mood. Weāve hired so many new people but theyāre all clueless and useless. Thereās more staff on at one time than ever before but weāre functioning like weāre short staffed! Itās like Iām constantly retraining everyone Iām working with, whoāve already ābeen trainedā, but they just donāt get it. Like they have no common sense. I shouldnāt have to work twice as hard with twice as many people around! Itās exhausting in every way On a positive note, I have high hopes for the brand new server I trained tonight Anyway. Work again in the morning. At least itās with my 2 closest coworkers and Iāll be out by 4. Canāt wait.
Specific brands matter donāt matter to me. I usually get mine at Walmart and itās mostly all the same brand. I just look at the content. Your body stores fat soluble vitamins (A,D,E,K), as well as many minerals, so pay attention to percentages. Some of them are outrageous, unnecessary numbers. Over doing something when you arenāt deficient can lead to toxicity.
Did yours stay in one area though as mine are definite bites from the 5th May that I got clearing and cutting a thick hedge. Spiders or mosquitos, I donāt want to think about itā¦ They are behaving today, but ready to emerge again at any given point. They are very annoying but the drs say itās possible as Iām (mildly) allergic to their toxicity. Feels crazy itās been over two months now actually, I miscalculated.
The heart thing was weird. You could be right it was sweltering hot
The mould thing, I canāt think about now until Monday.
@Mno thank you, its reassuring to hear that @acromouse thank you so much a shower and mindfulness did help. @Mira_D thank you so much for the suggestion, i am definitely goong to try that. It sounds like it will help. Thank you for the words of encouragement
Thank you everyone for always being here to listen. Iām sorry i havenāt been responsive to many people. So hard to find the energy but know that I care about all of you and truly appreciate every one of you
97
Coming on here because I just broke down crying. Was hanging out with family and wanting to feel connected to them but they kept talking about things that I donāt know about so I staydd quiet and just felt more and more disconnected from them even though I was sitting with them. One of them is moving across the country and I only have tonight and tomorrow to spend time with them so Iām disappointed that I ended up feeling this way. One of them asked me what was on my mind and I voiced my concerns about my trip and how Iām worried about the safety of me and my friend. I was just starting to feel heard, and feel included in the conversation and then someone else cut it off and chanved topic. I wanted to hang out with my family to feel more connected to them, and instead I ended up feeling the opposite. Stayed for a little while longer still silent before heading to my room and started crying because everything feels so heavy, depression set in and was just feeling like everything in life always ends up hurting, life is filled with so much pain, i try and try every day to be happy and to find joy in things, even go on exciting trips and try to see the world while I can, its like Im trying everything I can, and at the end of the day, life still just hurts. Like whats the point. I feel so much pain in my heart that everything is temporary, my whole family will eventually not be here anymore and I know Iām going to have to endure all of that pain its as if Iām already experiencing it, just knowing itās inevitable. I havenāt felt this low in a while. Realistically i knkw im just stressed out so everhthing is compounding but at the same time itās all so true. The last time and only time I was genuinely happy in my life for a consistent period of time was when I was with my fiance and heās been dead for 3 years now. My heart just hurts so much for so many reasons. Iām just sad. Iām tired of working, Iām tired of so much. I just want to drink to numb everything away but Iām three days away from 100 days. If I wasnt this close, I would probably just say fuck it.
Day 392.up early. Weather is shocking. So Iām listening to sigor ros and having a coffee or two. Hopefully it will stop raining but Iām not convinced it will
May use it as an opportunity to listen to music and do some house chores?
@wahtisnormal I really am glad sharing here is of some help for you and I am sorry you are experiencing this amount of depression. I understand your mind is currently focusing a lot on negative thoughts. One suggested tool was the worry journal. Another one is mindfulness training. There is another one I find useful in my toolbox: creating meaning. What can you do today, right now that you think of as meaningful? This can be very simple: Connecting with nature, giving somebody a smile, being of help, doing something relaxing for your body, connecting with a friend. You can wait for meaning to manifest in your life, or you can go and search out meaning opportunities. Donāt give up. As you already said: Everything is impermanent. This also is true for depression. @Just_Laura Wishing you some well deserved stress relief from your work situation @zzz So many thanks for posting the spilled cup story My mind was running circles of resentment this morning, and I really do not want my cup to be filled like that. Now you not only helped me to empty the drags of resentment out of my cup, you filled I with gratitude and kindness. Thank you friend! @Lefty624 Yeah, you know about the lost stuff. There are these critters that will munch on everything. Thatās how socks get lost, screws. Maybe you have a kind there specializing in sockets Have fun in the pool today @SoberWalker Ugh, the synopsis of the movie sounds scary in a very uncomfortable way @JazzyS Yay to the quiet of early mornings, and to kicking addictions. Iāve heard smoking is an especially hard one @Mossy91 Congrats on getting through your cravings. You are doing the hard work, one moment at a time @Lile01 Huge congrats on one full week! Your leg of lamb does sound delicious What veggies did you decide on in the end? @Cmillington Well done on five days. Especially when you are surrounded by alcohol. That is a tough situation to be in. Can you ask your fiance to take a brake from his beers for a while? Can you do something else while he is drinking his beers? @AdultImprover Good job on realising how fast things change mood wise, from a total downer to being happy and vice versa. Thatās a thing lots of us used to try to manage with our DOCs, not feeling one way, feeling another way. So you are in mood training boot camp right now. You are doing great! Congrats on your interview opportunity
Itās going to be a hot day around here today. So I did my groceries already in the morning, now Iāve got stuff around the flat, taking care of my IT-tools and the house plants before I go off on my trip on Monday. And then the only option for the afternoon will be the pool Iām not even sure Iāll do any yoga today in this heat.
No matter what comes our ways: Letās try it with peace, kindness and freedom friends
The 1st christmas dream i ate a christmas dinner and was givin s christmas ornament by my best friends mom who passed
Then i told a little girl named marical about it who i have never met be4
Then i woke up in the best mood
Then in the second dream i told my best friend this might be what it would have been like if i hadnt been so shy then him, his brother, marical and his cuzzens snd aunt got in s big suv snd drove away during a snowfall christmas morning
I woke up at 4am in the best mood again
Got out of bed at 5am
Got my chores done
Here at work at 6:40 to start at 7
Getting better at driving
Feeling comfortable behind the wheel.
@Twizzlers thank you so much yeah it got pretty bad when I was driving to the most dangerous areas of the city to find places that sold them in the middle of the night, I was vaping for about 40-50mins every hour, it was insanity, glad to be off that wheel. Itās been a long slow journey but Iām almost off NRT now as well, down to just the mouthspray and 1 lozenge per day. @Lighter thank you congrats on 6 months vape-free @Laner angry is a healthy and valid response to all youāve been through, and you dealt with it in a healthy way, so well done for that @19801 welcome congrats on days 4 and 2 @Ray_M_C_Laren congrats @JazzyS thank you @Seizetheday congrats on 200 days @DanaM56 agreed, that isnāt very realistic at all, Iām sorry about how stressful everything is Hoping you find something else asap @AdultImprover congrats on getting an interview best of luck @Lile01 congrats on your week 6 miles is a very decent walk too
@nick_1985 congrats on 6+ years keep trying with the nic quit @acromouse congrats on your week no overeating
1439 days no alcohol.
904 days no cocaine.
419 days no vape.
4 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterdayās numbersā¦
Yesterday I caught-up here first, read a chapter of the c-ptsd workbook, did my morning routine, finished the Kindle book Iāve been reading, an episode of a podcast, then watched 2 episodes I was behind on of the show Iām currently watching. I really wished I could have made myself go out for a walk, but I couldnāt make it happen. Still pleased that parts of my daily routine are coming back again, atleast I can build on that.
Today, Iāve caught-up here first, next I will read the first chapter of a new book, then a chapter of the c-ptsd workbook, then do my morning routine. It would be amazing if I was able to leave the flat and go for a walk too, but we shall see.
and I swear Iāve had it with the humidity. Iād totally open the windows but I swear Minnesotas mosquitos are big enough they would literally carry me off 
-20-
I donāt recall reading about your mosquito bite issue, but it reminded me of something I went thru. I hate to even bring it up but I feel like I should just in case. In 2010, I thought I had recurrent mosquito bites but they lasted too long. My ex wasnāt affected, so I thought I had a skin condition. Nothing relieved it. In the end it turned out we had bedbugs 
I pray this isnāt your case 
but I would feel bad not mentioning it and finding out it was, weeks from now, bc the sooner you know, the better.
On a positive note, I have high hopes for the brand new server I trained tonight 
Anyway. Work again in the morning. At least itās with my 2 closest coworkers and Iāll be out by 4. Canāt wait.
a shower and mindfulness did help.
What would we call our club? My creativity is non-existent attm. 
(two thirty)
and I am sorry you are experiencing this amount of depression. I understand your mind is currently focusing a lot on negative thoughts. One suggested tool was the worry journal. Another one is mindfulness training. There is another one I find useful in my toolbox: creating meaning. What can you do today, right now that you think of as meaningful? This can be very simple: Connecting with nature, giving somebody a smile, being of help, doing something relaxing for your body, connecting with a friend. You can wait for meaning to manifest in your life, or you can go and search out meaning opportunities. Donāt give up. As you already said: Everything is impermanent. This also is true for depression.
Have fun in the pool today 
What veggies did you decide on in the end?
Iām not even sure Iāll do any yoga today in this heat.
yeah it got pretty bad when I was driving to the most dangerous areas of the city to find places that sold them in the middle of the night, I was vaping for about 40-50mins every hour, it was insanity, glad to be off that wheel. Itās been a long slow journey but Iām almost off NRT now as well, down to just the mouthspray and 1 lozenge per day.
