Checking in daily to maintain focus #68

  1. Excellent start to Saturday; good workout, flat is tidy and clean and I have nice food. Six hours sleep was achieved, it’s a start… But better than three hours. Keep sobering my warrior friends, it’s worth the fight.
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Day 118. I getvto visit my fiance in prison today. My anxiety is through the roof. I dont know if its because the thought of walking back into a prison or what. I also cant believe that with my record they are letting me visit.

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Congrats on 200, that’s awesome!:sparkles::sparkles::sparkles::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Hey it’s 8:47am and feels like 4pm. Had some pretty intense sadness but it’s fake - I’m just tired! Not fit to drive, but I’ve got plenty I can do.

Got in some exercise and am starting a pot of my Italianish goulash- going to enjoy a day at home since I’m so delirious. I know I’ll catch up tonight. Forced myself to cook. It’s very therapeutic. Meditative. Chopping slowly. Simmering. I’ll let it cook all day. Surprised how much better I feel now.

July is rough. It’s the 20th. Soon it will be August and I’ll go on my mountain trip. I need to exercise :grinning:

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Day 28 - On a camping trip with friends, cannot believe just how beautiful the nature is this weekend. Had a bit of temptation around the camp fire last night, but I woke up early this morning and got almost three hours of fishing in! (Psstttt! Don’t think that would have happened if I was on the sauce)

Nice reminder that fun, enjoyment and beauty is all around us. Lots of love to you all, hoping you are doing well

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2y5m7d
Morning friends :sunny: Im having a productive morning so far. I woke up at 4am to head to the gym for a 1 hour workout. Felt really good! Now Im at work for an 8 hour shift. Im a bit on edge at the moment tho bcuz my client is NOT happy. His parents are on vacation therefore he is not able to go for a visit. He doesnt understand why hes not going home. I have to be extremely careful today. Even with our protective jackets and forearm guards, the damage done can be excruciating. Im going to do my best to support my client the best way i know how and with the ways that work best for him. Hope my shift goes smoothly.

Anyway, enjoy ur saturday everyone! Lets do this day addiction free!! :butterfly:

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Checking in day 124
Been a tough few days. Really wanted to disassociate this evening. I haven’t had a moment to myself for 2 weeks and today I lost it. I wanted to smoke some weed rather than drink but I was able to avoid doing that too. Need some time to myself to do nothing for a couple of days and recharge.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.

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Thanks for the encouragement. Today was a better day I felt like letting the anger out yesterday was needed. I felt better after…tired but had that feeling of being emotionally cleansed. It’s hard to not feel hopeless when you’re in those times of extreme emotion.

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107 days sober
I felt much better today. Still had anxiety but it was low. I got a lot done this morning around the house snd the such. Then in the afternoon I went on a picnic with some friends. One of my good friends is physically disabled (she lost both of her feet and her hands in an accident) so has a very hard time getting out. I always feel bad for her…just thinking about her situation and that her quality of life is so poor here when I know in a Western society she could get so much help to live a more normal life. Anyways I make it a goal to take her out once a month. My neighbor helped modify my wagon so that she could sit in this while the horse pulls her. It was a bit bumpy but she had a blast. We meant up with a mutual friend and had a picnic out and had a nice time together. I’m always so amazed by her. She has such a hard life but she always gets me laughing and she’s become a good friend to me. She is someone I have come to trust and respect. I felt encouraged by her today just seeing her strength of will and character. I was thinking after that we are a lot alike only her wounds are visible whereas mine are on the inside. Today she asked me if I have thought about drinking and I said that I have on occasion but that I’m persistently working through it. She told me that I am strong and doing well. Said she is proud of me. I got a little emotional while we talked. I rarely cry about things especially infront of people but I cried a little today.
I am lucky to have made friends who care about me and give me support when I need it.

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That’s alot to deal with !
I don’t understand much about leasehold details except my dad can’t sell one of his houses because of it.
(inherited when our grandad passed)

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The only way to be happy is to do the work. But we can’t do the same amount of work every day. Good days and bad ones friend. And days where we do lots of work and days that we take rest. Drinking and numbing never helped us and never will help. Never. Drinking just prolongs the suffering. I’m sorry for your hard times. I’m glad you’re sharing about them. We’re in this together. I’m glad you’re here, also (and especially) in your hard times. Keep going. 97 Days is great, 100 will be greater, we just keep going. ODAAT and all that. :people_hugging: :heart: :people_hugging:

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Day
437 no alcohol
368 no vapes or ciggs 77 no fotm of nicotine
37 no form of marijuanna

Works dull
Stalled out here
Im hoping to get energy soon

I ate my stress free gummies with gaba and like L thimine or somethiing like that ment to get me stress free but i dont like it and made me lazy. All my gummies are gone and dont plan on picking any more up

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Carrots, peas, broccoli and cauliflower! 15 hours in the slow cooker, the lamb literally fell off the bone :blush:

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Checking in towards the end of day 8!

Yesterday was a very good day, but I still felt like I needed a complete change for a fresh start!

I cut and dye my own hair (we’ve gone with purple and a ‘wolf cut’ this time) so it’s a little wonky, but I’m happy with it for the most part.

Trying to gear myself up to go for a walk as it really helped yesterday, but we’ve gone from sunshine and boiling weather to rain and cold! Such is the UK!!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend :blush:

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I am spending most of the weekend working. Then I will have a nice 6 days off :grin:

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@cmillington Pink lemonade sounds lovely. I too use a fancy cup at times just to feel fancy but have long lost the correlation to alcohol with it. It is all about the feel good things we can do with ourselves and how we can manipulate the addict mind so to speak. You are doing great work – glad to see you checking in with us and stacking up the days.
@jeanine 70 days today! :tada: :tada: Great work friend. Glad you are meeting new people today – may help associate the city with new memories for you. Hope your dad is doing well :pray:
@zzz 20 days is awesome friend. Thank you so very much for your post. I had to re-read a few times and will be bookmarking. So very true. :pray: Grateful for the reminder of how I want my cup filled :heart:
@tragicfarinelli I had my bites last for at least 8 months the first time, 6 months the second and 4 months the last time it happened It was maddening and they were all around my feet / ankles area. I am not sure if they were mosquitoes, spiders or mites. They would swell up and then die down for a bit and then get itchy and start the cycle again. I finally had to cut em out as that is the only way I got relief. I hope you are able to find a easier way to deal with them. They can be maddening. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. WHOA – see what 6 hours sleep did for you – you kicked some ass today :muscle:
@wahtisnormal so glad the counter is keeping you from picking up. It is good to have so much time and work so hard on protecting it. I do know how isolating it can be to be around people and feel left out as you are not a part of the conversation. Are you able to switch topics? Are you able to have side conversations? Or sometimes I find the topic to be interesting enough and I’ve learned something new from it LOL. Hope you are able to get some time with your family member before they move away. You are hurting right now and I’m sorry for that. Glad you are posting here and finding healthier ways to deal with it all. Our stress and anxiety do tend to compound when we are at our lowest and make it feel so much worse. Hope you are able to find a way to meditate and breathe through it. Make it lighter for yourself. Drinking is never gonna fill any hole or completely numb you – its gonna cause more problems (not just emotionally but physically) Keep fighting for your recovery :hugs:
@chase.e.u How did the visit go? I’m sure anxiety was high but hopefully it was nice to see her as well. Remember we are here if you need to talk :hugs:
@lighter Big hugs friend. I had a bit of a crash physically and emotionally this morning too. Maybe something in the air. Glad you have plans to keep yourself busy with good therapeutic activities. Your tummy will be happy afterwards too. Much love Marie :heart:
@refreshedperspective Yeah to day 28! Glad you did not give into the temptation and were able to have such a lovely hangover free start to your day. Keep up the great work – 1 month is right around the corner :muscle:
@butterflymoonwoman Please be safe friend. I know your job is not easy – hopefully you have some help in dealing clients when they act up. :hugs: WOW girl – I am so happy for you with a 4 am Gym start. I do find that the days I am super busy, I am able to pack in more but when I am free and clear then my mind kinda goes “lets just chill” :laughing:
@whereswaldo How are you feeling right now? Hope you found some time for yourself or will be able to do so soon. With all you got going on with work, home and prepping for the baby — it can all be A LOT! So grateful you did not pick up today. Grateful you checked in and posted. You are not alone my friend. Sending you calming vibes and energy :hugs:

SO VERY TRUE!! I am grateful for seeing the signs for these emotional states and having my emotional health recovery plan on hand so I can claw myself back. This community is definitely one of my go to’s for that as well a shit ton of comedy and sleep. Glad you are doing better today :hugs:

Saturday afternoon check in
Had a great start to the day with my walk and swim. Then my mood and body went to hell. Glad i was able to crawl into bed and just rest it off. Feeling a bit better but still off.
I am drinking afternoon coffee again today. It is more for the soothing effect as the caffeine isn’t doing anything for me :laughing:
Gonna put on some comedy and possibly do some movement and hope that shakes off some of this funk.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day! Sending you all so much love :heart: :heart:

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Love your new look, Indi :blush:

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@JazzyS Yes! The energy this morning was weird. I was upset and exhausted— why was I up at 2? I did see bright moonlight so we might have a suspect! :male_detective: :full_moon: I was able to do some exercise, but mostly just cook and rest. Had my main meal for lunch so nothing interferes with my 12 hour sleep
…haha

I’m sorry it hit you too :heart:. Tonight will be better. Sleep well, and thank you for writing!

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What a lovely post ….that’s amazing you spur me on to be able to live like that :ok_hand:

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Checking in, 104 days sober. I’ll stay sober today too. :smiley:

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