Love this for you! Great work on 2 weeks friend. Keep going strong 
Hope you have a wonderful visit with your kids 
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Ooohh I do love this! Great catch on your 7ās
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Wow great numbers. Amazing!
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This is so SUPER!
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@JazzyS Wow lady just wow on those numbers!!! And I love your story. How tackling one thing gave you the push to tackle the others. I can see how we can trade one addiction for another, and that often happensā¦but sobriety has its reaches also. When we work on one area it effects others as well, and weāre more open to changeā¦congrats to you and thanks for always being here I just love everything you share and what you bring to this space 
oh and yes, I have never been a morning person even after my first was bornā¦and then came my son, who was a 5am cherub for a while and thats my life now. I love waking up now before the kids and feeling my eyes closing at night. Its amazing!!
@Laner & @Mno I relate to this so much as well. That sense of self reliance, as though help isnt even a possibility. What is help? I have learned to open my arms to it, somewhat. And to set boundaries against those who would make me feel week or ungrateful for needing help. Trusting in someone allows them in to give you that help and support, it doesnt mean that trust will never be broken but the act of opening yourself is important.
@noshame fuck yes! Sober doesnt mean you wont have days, and oh there will be days! Good for you for coming on here and letting it out. Good for you for chosing yourself.
Im also not sure if you need to hear this, but having a new baby causes conflicts between couples. Im not saying that in anyway except to say its normal (and i didnt know that or understand wtf was going on when hubby and I were arguing or stressing, as a couple who never fights). Youre not alone is all I am meaning to say. Its hard and theres a lot of adjusting. Take care of yourself and your little family. It does get easier, just keep giving of yourself - to you, wifey & your precious little one xo.
Checkinf in my other family. Had dinner at the in-laws and my brother and sister in law with there with their kids. I adore my nieces and nephews, and am so happy the cousins get to be together. I find my brother and sister in law to be a bit exhausting, and was happy to come home but it was also pretty nice. Jist seeing the kids so happg is worth it They are so hard to make plans with, but they came down for our daughters birthdah which makes me so happy. Did a ton of work on the house today, and just ordered mattresses for a bunk bed hubby picked up today.
I have also just learned about the term parentification.
Always digging and learning. Xo.
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Checking in on day
438 no alcohol
369 no vapes or ciggs 78 no form of nicotine
38 no form of pot
Survived the night sober
Wifey was a big help
Everything was relaxed when i got home this evening
Bed time now
Night
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Oh my I hear your pain so deeply through what youre sharing. I wish I could reach out and hug you. Sometimes this happens with family, and it doesnt help when we want to connect and leave feeling disconnected. Its okay to cry, I hope you are able to put on some nice music or watch something - hell something funny even. Get your mind loose.
I am also so deeply sorry for your loss. It is no wonder your thoughts trail to places of feeling like everyone around you will go away or die. Grief is a heavy feeling in the heart and soul, it is love with no where to go. I do not know what it is like to lose a partner, but we lost our daughter 4 years ago and my sister, who was my very best friend in the world, 2 years ago. I share this only to say, you are not alone in your grief and loss. Keep coming back here and you will never walk alone. I wish you healing in this area of your life, it is a slow process and deeply painful. I hope for you to find peace around their passing, and their presence in your life each day as you hold them in your heart. Xo. Keep sharing, we are here. Xo.
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@Mira_D thank you so much 
I am so sorry for your losses, that sounds absolutely horrible, I cant imagine losing a child and then my sibling 
thank you for your kind words and for letting me know that Iām not alone. This community and people like you definitely help me get through each day. Im wishing all of the best for you
@acromouse that sounds like a good idea, and it sounds doable. Thank you for the suggestion, i will definitely try that next time!
@JazzyS so true. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement
99
Leaving for Peru tomorrow. Flight got pushed back because of Microsoft issues, but itās all working out so far. Feeling anxious, but thatās always normal before a big trip like this. This is only my 2nd time out of the country, the first time was to thailand maybe 6 months ago and I loved it. Iām sure Iām going to have a great time. Also experiencing feelings of sadness because this is my last night with my family member before they move away. But I know things will be okay. Going to try to stay positive tonight despite the anxiety and sadness. Good times are ahead of me.
Hope everyone is having an enjoyable day/night
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Day 1009 AF
Wud up, gang.
I got a little behind here. Itās been a busy weekend.
Took the kids to an arcade yesterday. Drop them off at my momās and then went to meet with some old friends at a pizza and brew spot. It was chill. Talked about the old times. Told them Iāve been sober for almost 3 years, and they respected it. I was the only sober dude at the table. I had a couple of Topo Chico mineral waters. We took off to my cousinās bday party afterward. There was booze everywhere. Didnāt really bother me. My cousin asked if I wanted to drink, and they asked why I stopped. Told them it wasnāt for me and I get too fuckin wild. My wife was a lil buzzed by the end of the night, but she can handle her alcohol. We went home and watched a movie and then crashed.
Today, I took the wifey to a Korean BBQ spot. Then went to visit my sister at the hospital. Baby Scarlett was born Friday the 19th.
Just got back to the pad right now. Gonna chill with the kiddos. Tomorrow weāre celebrating my wifeās b-day.
Hope everyoneās doing well. Take care. ODAAT
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522
I was dragging so much at work. Everything just felt so hard to do. My protein shake, smoothie, and electrolyte drink got me thru the rest of the shift. This made me realize my longer work hours, especially on the weekends, might be putting me into too low a calorie deficit some days. I always eat before work, but too big a meal makes me tired, and itās virtually impossible to stop and eat anything substantial while Iām working. Itās pretty much forced intermittent fasting. Iāve been relying on high calorie, nutrient dense drinks, but theyāre getting more expensive by the day. When I get home at night, itās usually so late Iām too tired to make something big, or Iām so hungry Iām not hungry anymore and just go to bed. I havenāt lost any weight, but it just feels like my body needs more fuel to function optimally. Need to figure out something that works. On the plus side, I have definitely been crushing my water intake so, yay me 
Happy I have tomorrow off. Hoping to shake some tension out of all my muscles. Feeling old today 
Hope you all have a great start to your week! One day at a time
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Day 31
Friday night we went to the county fair we had so much fair food I think I gained 15 pounds 
I got my fill of deep fried Oreos for this yearā:drooling_face: theyāre literally my favorite. This weekend has been so hot I spent all of Saturday running so no pool time for me 
but that was fine. today it rained most of the day so I didnāt end up swimming. all of my plans got spoiled thatās okay tho 
the mosquitos didnāt end up carrying me off or sucking me dry I really canāt complain it was a pretty fun weekend 
. I also found out that itās going to be around 2900 bucks to replace our a/c if I install it myself because the one we have is to old and outdated soooo I know what Iām going to be doing next weekend
I hope everyone has a great night and a wonderful Monday morning
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Good work playing the tape forward. 
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1871
I have one day off. Slept OK. Lots of dreams but no bad ones. I should be doing some chores at home but the weather is also very nice. Trying to think of a compromise between indoor and outdoor activities. Iām also expecting a call about my job application last week. Still feeling itās better not to do it at this moment.
Whatever I do it will be done sober and clean. I except the same from you all. I can never indulge in my addictions again or it would be the end of me. Which is absolutely fine. Lifeās so much better this way. Not easier per se. But much much better. Have as good a day as you can all. Clean and sober. Love.
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 145.
Yesterday didnāt really become a lazy day. We decided to go to Slottsskogen which is a huge playground and zoo in Gothenburg.
Things went well, we had a blast even if it was a little hard for my husband to move around because itās a lot of hills there.
But guess who called and asked for help just when we where ready to go home?
Yep you guessed it, Engjy Benjy.
His private car had broke down, his work car and the fourwheeler too. He wanted help to pick up some parts for his car outside Gothenburg and then get them delivered to his house. When we where halfway there he asked for a ride to the store as well.
For us that was an extra tour for about 5 hours. And we didnāt even got a thank you.
I donāt understand why my husband wants to help him, and that was definitely the last help he ever got from us.
Weāre going to help Ma tomorrow, and maybe take her to a nearby city on a field trip this week. And after that Iām officially done with everyone with everyone who needs/wants help for this summer.
Today Is a promised chill day. No more field trips even if the zoo was awesome, we saw seals, Penguins and a Moose. Our 14 y/o wanted to see the Moose. Not sure why because we sometimes have them in our backyards here.
On the way home from Engjy Benjy we saw some wild boars on a field too.
Taking it easy today, hopefully some bbq. The weather says a nice morning, lunch rain and a nice evening.
Helping Ma tomorrow, Chill day on Wednesday. And then some adventures again.
Thatās all Folks 
Wishing yāall a wonderful day.
Picture of the seals at the zoo.
And the Moose of course
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243 sugar
107 UPF
114 gluten
13 dairy
9 overeating
Today marks 8 month of no sugar and with that my recovery journey from compulsive eating and other compulsive behaviours I used to get away from my pain and discomfort. Staying present, giving up causing harm. One day at a time.
Everything is packed and I am ready to go. Destination: Utrecht 
Letās make today about peace, kindness and freedom. As good as we can. One day at a time 
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233 days
Uneventful, feeling better but could just be the nose spray + cold and flu medicine doing its thing
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I honestly donāt know how many days Iāve been soberā¦ I forgot to check in and lost countā¦ then I messed up and went on a bingeā¦ but then I restarted again and this time Iād like to think Iāve been 55 days sober from alcohol at leastā¦ Iām smoking againā¦ menthols againā¦ I think the last time I posted was last year? When I applied for my jobā¦ which was give or take seven or eight months agoā¦ maybe nine haha but yeah I still have my job and also got an award for stepping up and basically killing it haha even tho I havenāt been there long it was a big deal. And I STILL donāt know why or how I feel about it hahaā¦ I got recognized for my hard work and I donāt know why but I donāt think I deserve itā¦ I look at that award everytime I go inā¦ and Iām like āhmm why me tho?ā Idk itās just oddā¦ but yeah thatās a plus for me being able to keep my job this longā¦ lately tho itās stressful itās been stressfulā¦ and I almost walked out like three or four times just this past week butā¦ I just reset take a breather and focus on the task at handā¦ my head hurts tho hahaā¦ but anyways if anyone remembers me im still here and im still sober doing good just being busy with workā¦ just had to reset my start dateā¦ alls well I hope you all are good.
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Iām here. Iām not great but I have a plan in place. I have the tools I need I just need to sharpen them.
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Day 199 AF
Hope all are well. Just working multiple jobs still and getting out on the Bike for some rips when able.
Contentment.
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