Hey all, checking in on day 1499. I hope everybody has a good one!
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174 days AF
Just noticed that I got a huge milestone coming up. 6 months by end of July. 
Maybe we will go out in a restaurant or something like this. Not sure yet.
I feel more stabilized. Donāt have cravings at all. The guy is still writing me, blah. He realised I am right. Clearly communicated my standards and a position as a 2nd wife doesnāt meet anything at all. Of course!
Had a wonderful swim yesterday after a thunderstorm cleared up everythingā¦
Very good flow. I am very strong in the water these days again. And after my training, walking to my carā¦ I thought, ok this was a disappointing experience once more, but whatever happens, I got myself, know how to reset and I have become such a much more reliable person in the meantime. By being sober. By working on myself.
Love you guys 
Stay strong
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Checking in day 126. Had a talk to my wife and told her Iāve been feeling pretty depressed lately. It was nice to get it off my chest.
Have a great week everyone. Iāll have time soon to start reading everyoneās posts soon!
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- Ok day so far, Pilates then Zumba class. I hate Zumba, itās really not for me. Spending an hour round something I hate was quite good discipline though, but I wonāt repeat it
. Planning on a peaceful day as I feel slightly odd or off. Unease in my belly.
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Day 143
Rain is on its way this afternoon. And lasting all week. 
Clouds are kind, caring entities. You take quite a beating from the sun at 30 degrees N latitude. For several months. Iām so thrilled to get a break. Summer depression is widespread here. Just rain until October 15th please 
That should cover Summer with water.
Love you. Enjoy your sober days!
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Day 250. Really had a great weekend with my girls. Back to the grind today. Really need a one on one session. Nothing really wrong but i enjoy them. Idk much love everyone
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Checking in on day
439 no alcohol
370 no vapes or ciggs 79 no form of nicotine
39 no form of marijuanna
I have to accept weed isnt for me because i have a problem with it
Its a hard pill to swollow sometimes
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Monday morning workday check in.
I was 3 for 3 avoiding alcohol at summer get togethers on the weekend. Grateful (as always - repeating myself) for maintained sobriety to the night and into sleep for the next day.
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It is crazy how some things are harder for us than others. I had two friends come from the half way house with over a year from all mind altering substances. As soon as they moved where were at they started smoking pot. But what i found most interesting is they say it wasnt a problem this or that but always had to justify smoking it if they were around me. I hated pot, i stopped smoking it when i was like 19, shit made me lazy, just wanna sit there and do nothing at all. So for me it was easy to stop and i dont even think about ot the slightest lol
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2y5m9d
Morning TS!! Its going to be another hot day here so im not doing much lol. I do have to take my son to his oncology appt this afternoon to get his MRI results, but other than that we are staying inside. I also have plans to go grocery shopping once my hubby gets home from work. So its a fairly busy day. Just folding laundry now while sipping on my coffee and then will begin to tidy things up. Have a fabulous day everyone! 
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Congratulations on 8 months!!! Thats not an easy thing to quit! 
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Good shere mr mike
Thank you
I look up to you.and your progress
The addicted mind is really crazy huh lol
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Youāre so right. I couldnāt really put words to why it is so difficult for me to let someone help this way. As I was reading this I kept thinking āyes thatās it!ā. It goes down to trust. I trust this friend probably more than Iāve ever trusted anyone in my life but still find it difficult to let her in and help in this way. And it makes me feel vulnerable to be in a position like this.
I have decided to let her help. I told her today I will accept her help. That I agree to allow her to help me pay for online counseling.
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Yeah I totally agree with what you said. It is really hard to open myself up to that type of trust and vulnerability. Iām going to take the help.
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109 days sober
Iāve decided to let my friend help me. I told her today I want her help. It was really hard for me to get it out but I needed to say yes. I can keep trying on my own and Iāve used every resource available to me. But I think having a counselor will really help me so I said yes to help.
So now Iām a bit anxious to meet with a counselor online for the 1st time. My friend already arranged it for me. I donāt really know what ti expect and how itāll go. But I will try anything.
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Please try to keep expectations to a minimum. Personally I pre see what will happen and it is not good. Open your heart and mind and let all the good and positive help come in! Good luck and hope it is a great experience.
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I dont know why but i seem to have hit a wall
I am craving nicotine like crazy after yesterday when i craved weed
It would be stupid to go back to that stuff
How do i handle these walls
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Just suggestionsā¦
Go for a walk
Eat a piece of candy
Breathe! Breathe!
Are you breathing?
Not smoking anything your lungs will thank you!
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Ill take your suggestions and get some candy
Im walking all day here at work lol
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