Checking in daily to maintain focus #68

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Just checking in :blush::peace_symbol::heart:

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Day 654

I have been deep cleaning around my house for probably about 2 weeks (not daily, but almost daily)
There are 7 people living here full time and another 1 who mostly just stores her stuff here but rarely sleeps here.
That said, thereā€™s too much stuff here. And I have been trying to de clutter things. A new room each time. And the 3 big garbage bins outside have been overflowing the past 2 weeks when pickup happens. :face_exhaling: Think I need to buy a 4th.

Tomorrow morning I have an interview at a new place, but itā€™s a group interview. Iā€™ve never had one like that. Hopefully it goes well and I can get comparable pay there to what Iā€™m making now so I can take a position there. I really need a break from the place I am now ,but canā€™t afford to not work at allā€¦ So fingers crossed.

I have work after the interview until late. And then I have errands to run even after that. So itā€™ll be a long day.

Feeling a lot of conflicting emotions currently and not entirely sure where theyā€™re all coming from but itā€™ll pass. It always does.

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Checking in

Finally hitting the hay after a very long day .
I feel blah kinda short tempered and quiet, Iā€™ve noticed its been getting worse over the last two days. nothing has really changed besides not drinking :man_shrugging:t2: so I donā€™t know what would be causing it any advice would be appreciated. I feel like I need to get back to reading on here to calm my jets get me off edge and get some more tools to cope. its just been dang hard I feel like Iā€™ve been burning my candle at both ends for to long and maybe itā€™s finally caught up :man_shrugging:t2::man_shrugging:t2:

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday morning

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Feels like Iā€™m not getting sleep tonightā€¦ :roll_eyes: Wish I was thoughā€¦ It would help me escape from my mind which is telling me to harm myself :cry:

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236 days
Up early to get the kids to school. Then some training and exercise.
Groceries and made a start on dinner before it was time to pick up the kids.
Eldest had netball, first game back after holidays. Amazing how good sheā€™s getting.
Work tomorrow so Iā€™ll be up early tomorrow

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Hope you are doing ok Jules.
Have you tried Insight Timer for guided meditation? I find it very helpful, especially at sleep time

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Recognizing a couple of early warning signs that may mean increase level of care. I notice I am seeking out tools to self harm with. Iā€™ve also noticed that Iā€™ve been awake all nightā€¦ Huge warning sign because Iā€™ve been up all night planning the next time I self harm. Main reason I stay up at night: to plan and prepare for the next cut. However, I do not plan to give into these thoughts and urges. Instead I am waking up staff because I donā€™t want to slip upā€¦

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246 sugar
110 UPF
117 gluten
16 dairy
1 overeating

Very short check in today. Off to bike tour. Have a good day :peace_symbol::people_hugging::dove:

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Day 397.working 7-5

I was reflecting last night on all the f@@ ups I had before going sober and why on earth I ignored themā€¦ Was drinking really so important?

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Checking in on day 2
I havenā€™t checked in for ages, thatā€™s because after 4 months sober I got off track again some weeks ago. Yep, instead of reaching out e.g. on this forum, I chose my good old friend the bottle. Of course I only found misery at the bottom of the glass. In the last 4 months Iā€™ve lost 2 of my cats very unexpectedly (the second one just 3 weeks ago) + my father passed away 7 weeks ago after a long disease and having spent (almost) the last 6 months in hospitals. Iā€™m glad heā€™s finally found some peace. I wish I hadnā€™t faced these incidents looking for comfort in the bottle, but heyā€¦.learning the hard way, and dusting myself off one more time! Kicked off the day with a 7K walk, in fact I have been going for a walk every day in the past week. @JazzyS thanks for your support and listening to my never ending dramas in the past weeks! :see_no_evil::pray:t2:

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Checking in on day 417AFAF.
Iā€™m just back from an early appointment with my psychiatrist. Heā€™s happy with my progress and reassured me that time is a great healer. He thinks we need to see each other a little less frequently going forward and that I should maintain my medication as they are at the moment. Iā€™m happy with that.
Today my 12 year old is travelling to another town an hour away to meet some friends in person for the first time. We dyed the front of her hair green last night and I have to say we did a pretty good job, it looks great.
Iā€™m going to spend a bit of time drawing in my new sketchbook today.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.

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@kris so very sorry for your loss. :people_hugging::people_hugging: 60+ days is incredible and Iā€™m grateful that you had this time under your belt to help you deal with this grief in a sober manner. Sending love and comfort your way.
@Scorpn good luck with the interview love. A group interview? Never heard of itā€¦you will have to tell us how it goes. Thatā€™s some serious cleaning you got going on!
@Lefty624 sometimes our emotions just go through cycles (with nature, our body tempā€¦etc). Donā€™t feel discouraged. You have noticed this mindset and can now work to get you back to your happy place. Reading here is a great ideaā€¦I find this forum and all the posts to be super helpful. ODAAT :muscle:t4:
@Jules000 hope you got some rest. SH will not solve anything. You have come this farā€¦ please do not give into the urge. You get to see your sister today. Think of that happy time and hopefully you will feel better :people_hugging:glad you are seeing the signs of relapse and getting ahead of it.
@Jesile you are so welcome. Grateful I was able to be there. so good to see you checking in and in the sober path friend. Looks at you kicking ass right out the gateā€¦a 7k walk ā€¦a love it!!
@Deelzebub 417 days! Days are stacking up nicely. Glad your physiatrist is seeing progressā€¦thatā€™s huge :people_hugging::people_hugging: hope your girl has a wonderful day trip. Green eh? I love it! Also loved your sketch you postedā€¦I do look forward to seeing your creations

Checking in on Thursday morning
Gotta get moving. Itā€™s 6 am and Iā€™m running behind :rofl:ā€¦ Will be a chilly morning so get to wear a hoodie on my walkā€¦I do love that lol.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day. Sending you all so much love :heart::heart:

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#Day 2137 :walking_woman:
Unfortunally the leaking roof has caused a lot of damage. I think the whole cealing has to be renewed. But first things first: fixing the roof!
Tomorrow a roofer comes to check it out.


Picture of some Valerian growing in the wild. Picture made during a walk.
Today? House chores and repotting some plants :seedling:
Have a good day ore night all :raising_hand_woman:

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Sending you lots of hugs :people_hugging::hugs:
Thatā€™s alot to go through and Iā€™m sorry to hear how difficult life is at the moment.
Iā€™m glad your here now with us :people_hugging::pray:

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@Whereswaldo thank you :blush:
@MrMoustache amazing! The more you say no to your cravings, the easier it gets :raised_hands:t2:
@Laner sorry about the dreams :people_hugging: but congrats on all the 1s :tada:
@zzz congrats on 3 weeks :tada:
@Ncgolfer welcome to the checking-in thread :blush: congrats on 2 days :tada: sending strength šŸ©µ
@DresdenLaPage good to read from you, glad things are going well :blush: congrats on 9+ months :tada:
@JazzyS thank you :blush: so far today, no migraine, for the first time in weeks! :raised_hands:t2:
@Kris welcome to the checking-in thread :blush: Iā€™m sorry for your loss :people_hugging::mending_heart: congrats on 62 days :tada:
@Scorpn good luck for your interview :crossed_fingers:t2::four_leaf_clover:
@Jules000 when I canā€™t sleep, I do meditations, read a book, or listen to a podcast or audiobook, they all help me to switch off from my mind, and sometimes I even fall asleep :sleeping: sending you strength :people_hugging:šŸ©µ

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@Jesile Iā€™m sorry for your losses :people_hugging::mending_heart: but welcome back :blush: and congrats on day 2 :tada:
@SoberWalker Iā€™m sorry about your leaking roof and the subsequent damage :pensive: I hope the roofer can get it fixed up for you tomorrow or asap :crossed_fingers:t2: Iā€™ve never seen that flower before, thanks for sharing, very pretty :heart_eyes: :hibiscus:

1444 days no alcohol.
909 days no cocaine.
424 days no vape.
15 days no takeaways.
11 days no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.

Checking-in with yesterdayā€™s numbersā€¦

Yesterday I got off to a slow start. I caught-up here first, which took me until 2pm. Then I had a few hours where I couldnā€™t concentrate on anything. At 4pm I went for my walk, by the end of the day Iā€™d done 4287 steps, so almost at target of 5K. Then I managed to read a chapter of the book Iā€™m reading. Did some meditations. Did my morning routine, did my rehab exercises. Then I watched 2 episodes of the show Iā€™m watching. Regrettably I also binged crisps, the only trigger I can identify was that I was trying to watch the show but I was so preoccupied just thinking about them, next thing I know Iā€™ve been to the shop and eaten 3 big bags. Iā€™ll keep trying. After that I couldnā€™t sleep, I finally fell asleep around 4:30am, then my cats woke me at 6:30, for no reason! (I fed them at 2am, their usual time). I tried to get back to sleep but couldnā€™t, so I listened to some podcasts and now Iā€™ve caught-up here.

šŸ©µ

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Hey all, checking in on day 1502. I hope everybody has a good one!

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Iā€™m here and sober. Mostly lurking.
Iā€™m sick and feeling miserable. So not much to say.

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Sending healing vibes your way. Hope you feel better soon. Glad you are still here with us :people_hugging:

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Day 123 still going strong. When I started this journey of meetings and step work. I kinda thought it would change my life but it hasnt. Instead it uas changed how I deal with life. I think its important to remember that even though we are clean life still happens. This is important for me to remember because sometimes I catch myself thinking why isnt life changing. When in reality life is life. Sometimes its great and sometimes its shit. As long as i do my best to keep a positive outlook and stay in my higher powers will. I can continue to get through whatever shit storm life throws at me. Hope everyone has a great day

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