Day 255, i am seriously looking forward to my one on one monday. All is pretty good, but idk its just nice to see my therapist. Work is ok, i say my gratitudes in the morning and look at all the good in everything i have. My girls are safe, i am safe, i have a very decent job that i do love and some days will be much more difficult than others. My neighbor that i share a bathroom with has been coming home drunk alot lately, last night he was slamming the toilet seat and making growning and moaning sounds in the bathroom all night which was getting pretty annoying lol, but it also was a big reminder of wtf im not missing out on. I didnt say anything about the girl heather im talking to bc idk i just feel like every time i talk to someone it dont last or i usually write a post saying well that didnt work out. But i am very grateful this girl came into my life. I had no intention of dating after that last girl. But heather works in sterile processing department where i clean and started reaching out to me so i figured id see where it would go. This was a cute little note she left me yesterday and its nice to get little things like this. Much love sober fam, happy Saturday
@Bluekoolaid thanks for sharing, sorry about the consequences 
but Iām glad youāre sober and doing things for your recovery now 
congrats on almost 5 months 
@Laner Iām so glad you poured it away, you showed yourself it really is not what you want
@JazzyS thank you, it did š©µ those F**k it thoughts are my Kryptonite, congrats on dealing with yours in a healthy way 
@acromouse Iām glad youāve had a great vacation safe travels home š©µ
@Mno 
@Lisa-B sorry about the panic attack hoping the hike does release some of those darker thoughts 
sending strength š©µ
@MrsOdh congrats on 150 days
@Conor80 enjoy Egypt 
@Mindofsobermike that is cute
1446 days no alcohol.
911 days no cocaine.
426 days no vape.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Therapy yesterday was intense, but good. It felt like only 5 minutes, sometimes Monday sessions feel like that too. I spoke about my flashbacks and identified why they might be coming up now.
I also spoke about some disturbing new memories from the night I experienced sexual violence back in 2012. I also said how I wish I could have a preview of how I would be and feel like, without all of my many medications. None of my doctors or psychiatrists Iāve spoken to about it have agreed to help me come off them, they all say the risks outweigh everything else. The psychiatrist (therapist) didnāt express an opinion, he just asked me why I think Iām reading the book thatās making me feel this way. (Lost Connections).
I have listened to my body, and figured that 1300 steps is my current limit before agony. So now I can only walk 650 meters down the path and then back. Itās frustrating but I know I have to pace myself in this way, in order for my back to improve without more setbacks. I am doing my rehab exercises as well.
I read a chapter of each of the books Iām reading. I plan to finish one of them today, then I can return it to the Monday therapist who lent it to me.
I did my morning routine and some meditations.
I took all my rubbish and recycling out to the bins. This doesnāt take very long, but it always feels good.
I have my next tenancy inspection on the 8th Aug so Iām planning to start some decluttering today.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
Thatās a wonderful post. Thank you for being honest and reaching out. Posts like this help to feel connected with the community here. We canāt do it alone and we donāt have to do it alone.
Itās great having you on board Trevor. Sending love and strength your way 
Checking in day 131.
Uhhhh so it looks like weāll be meeting our little girl tomorrow! A week ahead of schedule. Wish us luck 
Hey all, checking in on day 1504. I hope everybody has a good one 
Checking in on day 4
This morning I had breakfast with a friend of mine, weāve been friends for almost 25 years. Sheās the type of person that says I shouldnāt āexaggerateā when I say I need to stop drinking, and that things have gotten out of hand. She barely drinks, and besides that I used to be the perfect in the closet drinker, always lying, hiding stuff, coming up with excuses when people want to meet, cause Iād rather drink alone. I think, till this day, sheās not aware of the extend of my problem. When we see each other, alcohol is not even discussed, which is good. This has to become a small and irrelevant part of my life, alcohol has been the main protagonist for waaaay to long! 
This friend lives on a finca, and has a fruit an vegetable garden. Today I left there loaded with onions, tomatoes, green peppers, egg plants and melon! I just made salad called ātrampĆ³ā with most of the ingredients! Life can be good! Iām grateful for that!
So true love. We have to find that balance of dealing with things while trying not to let that process swallow us whole. Sleep is my go to escape too. Hopefully you know that you are strong as hell. You have made serious progress! Hope you find time for self care 
@Kareness hope you are able to relax and enjoy the weekend. Sometimes when things start piling up at work and compoundingā¦thatās when I need to step back and take a breather. Hope that you are able to distance yourself from it this weekend and hopefully that works 
@Lisa-B sorry to hear of your panic attack. They are awful and can feel so overwhelmingly suffocating. Glad you started up the therapy and will be out in nature hiking today. Hoping that this helps bring calmness to you. Big hugs love. Here if you need
@MrFantastik Happy birthday Marty!! Have a wonderful time celebrating you today. 
@Conor80 have a safe tripā¦ hopefully we will see some travel pics. Egypt is on my bucket listā¦have a great adventure
@Mindofsobermike listening to slamming toilet seat can be super annoying but yeahā¦a great reminder that you are in the better path. Hope you managed to get some rest. Such a sweet note Mike 
@CATMANCAM do take it easy and glad you are not testing your limits. Do what you can and hopefully your back shows improvement soon. I donāt like depending on medications but sometimes we need them to help us get better and hopefully in time we can ween off of them. This may not be the time to give me up. Keep working your recovery friend.
@Whereswaldo ooh thatās excitingā¦all the luck and love my friend. Much comfort to your wife
Happy Saturday everyoneā¦didnāt sleep well and Iām fighting a migraine. In bed with some coffee 
ā¦not a bad way to start off a Saturday
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day. Sending you all so much love 
Hi everyone, im back on day one again. Im struggling this time. I really need someone to reachout throughout today and say " hey Julia dont drink anything tonight!" Like a reminder or something. Im going to hop on a zoom AA as well today.
Day 179 AfmfA
On tuesday I will hit the half year mark.
And I WILL 
Thought about a visit at a beautician as a gift, as I have some blemishes (actually I have great skin, itās just minor things), but I have to clarify first if she can handle hyper sensitive skin.
Pause swimming today as I have sore muscles from the wardrobe yesterday 
Learningā¦
After deleting all the dating shit and positioning this as a non priority in my life I feel peace here in the āgirls villaā.
My guest Luna poses how we feel here ā¦
The container says to mix it with water to make PB. I personally use less water than the suggested ratio because I prefer a thicker consistency. My tip is to start small and add a little at a time until you get your desired texture. I rarely use the powder to make just PB though, I love adding it to yogurt and smoothies. My favorite combo is adding the powder straight to vanilla yogurt. It almost turns into a PB dip for apple slices or sliced bananas. Iāll also add the powder to smoothies for an extra flavor and protein boost
Hi Jazzy! Thank you for your kind words. Despite everything, Iām okay and still sober. I donāt have cravings, Iām just sad and depressed. Part of the game. I know this will get better.
Hey Julia! Donāt worry, shit happens and you can always start again. Just be gentle to yourself. You got this, we got this. Stay strong!
Just checking in day 77. Another invite to a winery tonight. I donāt think Iām ready for that just yet, so Iām going to decline. I wish they had non alcoholic options, but i guess what would be the point.
Itās a sunny day here in the Midwest. Have a great day everyone!
Thank you. Im going to reach out to my sponser too. š©·
Just checking in on 1year and two weeks. Read through lots of posts and Iām so glad we have this beautiful community ! Sending everyone a little light and gratitude.
Lmao!!! 
I think about that all the time! Out of the 3 stores I rotated every day, I really liked the owner of one. He ordered things special for me and I feel kinda bad if heās wondering what happened to me, but he was super positive and probably thinks the best 
Keep pushing forward girlā¦ remember that it only gets harder to recover each time we relapse. This has been one scary thought that keeps me on the sober path.
You got us love. Do not pick up today. Keep checking in 
Hey Julia! Just a reminder, donāt drink anything tonight. You can do it. 
Oh yesā¦ this is so very true!
@19801 Isnāt it crazy to realize the insanity we were living in?! Always hitting the bathroom to down a couple shots in secret(I did that too 
), or googling the closest liquor store when youāre not in your own town, or worrying whether or not anyone can smell it on you. How/why did we live like that?! Never again.
@Whereswaldo Exciting news! What an incredible event to be sober for! Wishing you all the best
@Button83 Oh, Julia So glad you came right back. Weāre always going to be here for you I know it gets harder each time, but you have to find the strength to fight it. Everyone in the world can tell you not to drink but it wonāt help unless youāre one of them. Iām throwing this out there again bc it truly is what finally worked for me and I still do it to this day. You have to tell yourself no. The second those thoughts arise, immediately shut that shit down by saying āNO!ā Consistently! Every single time. Donāt even give the bargaining a chance to begin. Try focusing on the worst of the worst. Blackouts, injuries, vomiting, all of it at once. You never intended to get there but you know exactly how you did. Just one drink. It will never be worth it. Stay strong 