I rarely check in. But I figured I would post. I don’t know my exact sobriety date but I’m going to ask my probation officer when I got arrested because that was the last time I drank. Pretty sure I have close to five months sober this time. I’m living at a sober living house. I have a sponsor. I’m trying to put more action towards my recovery. This last relapse really took a lot out of me. I went to jail for two months and was very terrified the whole time. Now I’m on felony probation for three years and I’m grateful because it was divine intervention Possibly. I was spiraling out of control homeless and killing myself. The whole time I was in jail I meditated about my life and the things I have done. I thought about my family and my friends and the people that haven’t gave up on me. I believe this experience and last relapse had to happen to truly wake me up. I’m currently working again and adjusting to work life. Though I feel a lot of stress and worry about my legal issues and the fear of going to prison I know I can do the right thing and continue to change my life and my thinking. I been praying a lot for my higher power to walk with me through these hard times and help me be a better person. I believe this is the redemption chapter of my life. I’m 35 years old and I spent 20 years trying to drink and do drugs without consequences and I now understand if I drink or do drugs there will always be consequences and it will ruin my life and quite possibly take my life. So for today I have everything I need and even though I’m afraid … deep down I know there is nothing to fear. I’m going to try to check in more and keep you guys updated. Love this community and love you all!! Thank you for the hope and motivation that reading around on here gives me.
That’s a beautiful post @Bluekoolaid you Should post more often “don’t look back your not going that way “ it’s a quote from someone and I like it ,all we can do is make amends and live life doing the next right thing …peace and blessings
@Bluekoolaid fantastic, honest post. Minimal effort won’t do it- I’ve tried and failed every time. Once things start getting better the ego can take over and tell you you’re cured, that you have nothing in common with people who are struggling with relapse, that it can’t happen to you.
I went six years, once. At that point I thought work was all that mattered, and put it in front of my sobriety. Threw away six years.
I feel good today, like my life is starting to come together. Feeling better physically and mentally. You’d think I’d want to go out and ride that natural high on a Friday night. No, I can’t live like normal people! I’ve been so busy with my life this week that my sobriety was taken for granted. I’m only 4 months sober. My Friday night will be recovery. Sometimes it’s the good times that bite us. Everything gets so good that I forget I’m an alcoholic and only a few months sober. Going to do it differently this time and not stray.
I’m proud of you for reaching out and adding to your support and connection. So glad you’re here with us, friend!
Congrats on your four months. I know what you mean that we can’t forget the pain that alcohol and drugs will cause if we go back. When things start going good sometimes we forget the reality of The situation. And you’re right minimal effort will definitely not do it. Acceptance is one of my favorite words I’ve learned in recovery. I accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and a drug addict I will never be able to do that successfully. I know there’s going to be ups and downs and learning to live life on life’s terms is so important. I can’t do this alone. And I don’t have to. Appreciate the words and reaching out. Thanks so much!
Definitely pays off to spend lots of time in these safe places, reading, writing. It’s the connection that is so amazing. We write, sometimes thinking we’re just helping ourselves but many invisible people are reading. Whether it’s struggle or victory, someone might be inspired by your post. Maybe lots of people. It’s a beautiful thing.
@mrsodh Congrats on getting in on the gardening program. Hopefully you will find out about the Library program placement soon enough. @catmancam Sorry for the flashbacks friend – I do hope the therapy helped @karenkw Sending healing vibes your way. Being sick especially in the summer with the flu is total hell. Get better soon @misokatsu OOH karate camp sounds awesome. Hope the kids have fun. Man that is bs – I do agree that 4 years of you being sober should be proof that you are not the same person. I am not sure why some of our friends / family members refuse to see the change. 1445 days is boss Flo—should be super proud of yourself as I know we all are of your progress! @whereswaldo Hope all is well with your wife and baby. Glad she is at the hospital being looked after (I would be way too anxious at home). Sending you positive comforting vibes my friend. Any day now you will be meeting your baby @ncgolfer Nicely done with day 4 Sean. Best to have a concrete plan to keep busy and make sure to have your support systems in place (like this site) – reach out at any time to connect or read. First weekends can be hard – we got your back! @laner So sorry for the rough day friend. I am sorry to hear how much you are struggling and how close you came to a relapse. SO very grateful that you poured that poison out. Glad you were able to come here and also talk to a friend in real life. Don’t feel disappointed in yourself. You did not give in! This shows strength and you learned of more tools to add for when the urges arise again. Remember that you are not alone @mrmoustache Sorry for the sad feelings friend. I don’t know your story but feel like hopefully if you continue to stay sober and work your recovery that maybe you will be able to reconnect with your loved ones. 18 days is impressive work. Don’t let the past or your previous actions dictate who you are today. Be proud of your progress and your daily efforts. @john_connor1337 That’s awesome man – way to go! Looking forward to celebrating your 1 month milestone with you @bluekoolaid Great to see you checking in Trevor – wow 5 months or close to it is impressive work grateful to see you putting so much effort into your recovery. Hope to see you checking in often
Checking in on Friday evening
583 days free of alcohol and weed
998 days free of cigarettes
Was a decent day. Had some emotional stuff that I needed to work through – feel a bit lighter now. Dealing with some issues with goals not being met and backslides. Trying to think positive and have faith. Grateful that I did not cave into my cravings today. Not so much cravings but more the FUCK IT why am I even bothering with this much effort type thinking. Sometimes when we don’t see the results we want or see us going backwards (even 1 step) we forget how far we have actually come and how much progress we have made. Grateful that I took a moment to pray and yell into the void. The release helped me realize just what I would be giving up if I caved.
Another day sober – another day of healing and growing.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening – sending you all so much love
Day 894
Evening check in…
Im burnt out today for sure. Im sooo beyond tired right now and desperately needing some self care and rest. I really need to work on finding balance in my life. I think thats a big part of it. Today i also experienced some urges to use in the afternoon. Some days i wish i could just sleep thru them but thats not an option for me. I have to face them and work thru them and sometimes i find that mentally draining. Im beginning to wonder if the urge to sleep is bcuz i want to just not feel anything. Sleep can be an escape for me. Just like using my cell phone can be an escape. Another “thing” to try to help me escape when im under stress. I realize this so at least thats a step in the right direction. But having to face things head on can be sooo exhausting sometimes.
Other than feeling tired, im doing okay. Just putting my son to bed and then will get ready for work tmrw. I have been reading on here on n off today and i make an attempt to respond to others but then end up deleting my comment bcuz im too tired to focus on what im trying to say. I will have time tmrw since i will be at work Have a good night everyone!
Another random number I like for some reason I had requested today and tomorrow off bc it’s my dad’s 60 year highschool reunion this weekend and I wouldn’t have anyone to watch my daughter. My boss never saw the slip and scheduled me I tried talking to her about it but she was “too busy” so I just accepted it. I was planning to leave my girl with her friend’s family upstairs(even tho I really didn’t want to), but yesterday I found out my boss took me off the schedule without telling me! I was grateful for that but ended up with only 3 shifts this week bc of it. So now I also have tomorrow off, work a crappy Sunday lunch shift, and then another 2 days off! This rest is welcomed before going into next weekend, but the lack of cash flow is not
Had pretty low energy so I was glad to get some time alone when my daughter went to a friend’s. Did a bit of shopping before dinner and then we watched the newest Trolls movie. I gotta say, I’ve sat thru ALOT of kids movies and it’s a pretty damn good one Great music Pretty nice, uneventful day. Hope yours was/is too ODAAT!
This is so true @JazzyS. And I’m glad you took the time to pray and yell into the void. I find that the more sobriety time I have the less I notice my progress sometimes. And then something out of the blue will happen and I notice. Hope your thoughts are more positive going forward today.
It is definitely much harder not having that instant mood change from using @Butterflymoonwoman. Glad you stuck it out. Hope you find some time for some self care this weekend.
I’ve had a moody day today. I’m not enjoying what I’m doing right now for work. It is tedious and like pulling teeth for me. I tend to forget there is anything good about my job when enough things build up like this that I don’t like. I’ll just trudge along and hope that things get better. I do like my job, just not today or this week.
After five wonderful days in the Netherlands I’ll be heading home today.
I was woken by the rising sun and the smell of coffee roasting once again. I will miss this, the spectacular view of the city, and mostly the easy bike life here.
But after a most wonderful day tour with @Mno yesterday through Amsterdam it is time to hop on the train back home and enjoy the feeling of a great vacation.
Whatever the day: Let’s stay in peace, kindness and freedom friends
I’m as red as a lobster I hung siding all day and man am I sun burnt. Our new a/c unit shows up Tuesday so no more melting for us. I sold a pickup that I had fixed and most times I usually celebrate then have a terrible hangover the next day, it’s a whole experience just being happy and not drinking. the people at liquor probably think I went to jail or something. Going sober again is one of the best things I’ve ever done here the picture of the truck and the siding I hung
Had a great day yesterday hanging out with @acromouse, showing her some sights a little bit of the beaten track. Today the Olympic Games get under way, with my nephew Simon starting his campaign rowing in the heats of the men’s single sculls in less than half an hour. Hoping he’ll do well and survive three rounds to feature in the final in a weeks’ time. On a sad note, a very close friend lost her kitty last night. I know how much that hurts.
Weather looks nice. Might do a little cycling on my own today. And watch some more Olympics. Whatever I’ll do it will be sober and clean. Just like I expect from all of you. Have as good a day as you can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
114 days sober
This morning has been surprisingly good and also productive. @Mno I took your advice and wrote down some alternatives to post to help me next time the bad cravings start again.
My friend and I will go on a picnic this afternoon and hopefully I’ll relax more. I talked to her this morning about what I’ve been feeling and how bad I got yesterday. Let her read the list of alternatives I wrote out this morning. I felt better after that and I slept surprisingly good last night so also feel more refreshed. So hoping to have an easier day.
Hi everybody, I hope you’re all well.
Checking in on day 211.
As far as sobriety is going all is well. As far as everything else in my life is going all is awful. Or at the least that is how it feels.
My mental health is absolutely rubbish lately. I had a panic attack Monday morning, I’m on annual leave and had big plans for this whole week which would’ve involved being around large groups of people, people that I really like & love spending time with but I just couldn’t go. I was a big lump of tears & snot on Monday and I still haven’t managed to get myself together at all this week.
I started therapy again on Thursday, mostly due to the panic attack. I haven’t had one in about 20 years. My last ones were related to PND.
I will not drink, I know that’s not the answer and to be honest I really don’t want it. The thought of it sickens me. I know life isn’t all sunshine & flowers all the time but it’s so hard sometimes that I just wanna sleep through it or numb myself to make the thoughts a little bit quieter.
I’m going on a hike today to try help with my mood.
I hope you’re all have an amazing weekend
238 days
Another day at work, pretty quiet Saturday. Thenout for dinner with the family.
Pretty good day. Hopefully up early tomorrow for some sunday morning sparring at the gym.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 150
Was up way too late playing games on the phone/computer with the boys yesterday.
They’ve been wanting a " Really late Gaming night) and yesterday was the perfect time for it.
Today it’ll be much earlier to bed because we’re up early again on Monday for the Cowboy/Western theme park.
Cleaned the entire house and did some Fixing yesterday, today I need to got and buy some wooden beams and building material to Finnish the boys room.
My husband and brother have decided that they want to arrange a garage sale here tomorrow and next weekend. I’m not impressed If I was in charge I would just take everything to the city dump instead of trying to sell it.
It’s going to be me who do all the work anyway, my husband still have problems to move and my brother is simply lazy, trying to tell us via the phone how he wants to sell his stuff. He won’t even be here in person. And when they haven’t sold anything because people are on vacation it’s going to be me who packs it and takes it to the city dump anyway.
Now I’m going to take a walk far away from this garage sale mess, and enjoy the few rays pf sunshine that goes through the clouds. Looking forward to next week when the weather is supposed to be amazing.
That’s all Folks
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
But at least they have hope, and that’s a good thing.
“don’t look back your not going that way “ it’s a quote from someone and I like it ,all we can do is make amends and live life doing the next right thing …peace and blessings 
Have a good night everyone! 
I had requested today and tomorrow off bc it’s my dad’s 60 year highschool reunion this weekend and I wouldn’t have anyone to watch my daughter. My boss never saw the slip and scheduled me 
I tried talking to her about it but she was “too busy” so I just accepted it. I was planning to leave my girl with her friend’s family upstairs(even tho I really didn’t want to), but yesterday I found out my boss took me off the schedule without telling me! I was grateful for that but ended up with only 3 shifts this week bc of it. So now I also have tomorrow off, work a crappy Sunday lunch shift, and then another 2 days off! This rest is welcomed before going into next weekend, but the lack of cash flow is not 
Great music 
Pretty nice, uneventful day. Hope yours was/is too 
ODAAT!
I hung siding all day and man am I sun burnt. Our new a/c unit shows up Tuesday so no more melting for us. I sold a pickup that I had fixed and most times I usually celebrate then have a terrible hangover the next day, it’s a whole experience just being happy and not drinking. the people at liquor probably think I went to jail or something. Going sober again is one of the best things I’ve ever done here the picture of the truck and the siding I hung
