@TheWolf congrats on 3 weeks @Misokatsu that sounds very frustrating sending strength 🩵
1447 days no alcohol.
912 days no cocaine.
427 days no vape.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
I only slept for a total of 3 hours last night, and the night before. Yesterday I had no energy, but I caught-up here, finished the book that my Monday therapist lent me, did my steps, did half of my morning routine, watched 3 episodes of The Masked Singer US, I only have the final left to watch now. The final of the other program I’m watching is tomorrow night. Then I’m not going to start any new shows in my bedroom for a while, and will go back to having early nights instead. I’m hoping this will eliminate the binge-eating.
Today, I also have no energy and my blood glucose is the highest it’s ever been, so I’m not feeling well. I will read a chapter of the Kindle book I’m reading, do my steps, my morning routine, and catch-up on last night’s episode of the show I’m watching. I have a freestanding shelving unit that I need to build, but I also need to create space for it in the spare room, so I’m not sure if that will be achievable today or not.
I hope you’re all having wonderful sober weekends.
Really feel like I’m missing out. I know it’s silly and I’m trying not to give these thoughts the time of day…I just know how my last relapse started and it was with fear of missing out, not having any friends to do exciting sober stuff with or even non exciting stuff just to have human conversations and company.
Feeling like I’m just sitting alone all the time just rotting away trying to be good
I know it’s silly thinking it’s just not budging.
I think from tomorrow I am going to go on a healthy body detox if eating soup packed with nutrients and get in the gym everyday and swim because it’s boredem and being alone all the time and being full of energy causing me to feel like I want to go out and drink.
My son is so sensible for a 21 year old man and his the only reason I am staying sober right now - or the reason I have not drank. ( There are many more reasons but my mind is like tunnel vision ATM and I can’t see all those other reasons although they are there)
So staying in the house means I stay sober but I also am so bored and lonely and I’m fed up feeling like I’m in constant battle with myself. Fed up not having anyone to just go for lunch with or a walk with. Problem making friends sober.
Think I’m seeing all the problems around me but not the problems of myself and how to navigate what I am perceiving as problems.
Rant over.
Now book a gym session and swim for tomorrow.
Day 896
Just wanted to say good morning to you all! Im not working today as my husband has to tattoo someone. So im home today. Thinking of a workout today, some prayer, some cleaning and doing it all with a smile on my face
Love to u all!
I know you’ve been resistant to going to in person meetings but you can find those people there. I don’t have enough time to do all the activities that are offered. This month alone, there’s white water rafting, kayaking, picnic, ice cream social and a few shows planned. Besides the usual weekly lunch, dinner and coffee get togethers. I envy the people that don’t work and get to do all this stuff, but I do have a lot of fun at the events I can make.
115 days sober
I hosted for Sunday group this morning and really enjoyed this. I always enjoy hosting. Being able to feed people and to have a home I can welcome people to makes me feel good and in a way joyful. When I was a teen in horrible foster homes I made friends with someone from school. Her family would invite me for dinner sometimes or to come over on the weekend. These were the best times for me I always felt welcomed and cared about when visiting there. I remember thinking that when I was grown I want a house to have people over and make them feel as welcome as I felt then. If thay makes sense?
I was thinking about that today and was reminded that I can let my past traumas overtake me or I can heal and learn from them. I was reminded that not everything in my past was krap and thought it would be good for me to reflect this week on some positive memories.
Tomorrow I’ll have my first online meeting with a counselor. I’m feeling a bit anxious about it. I don’t know much of what to expect but I guess I’ll find out.
@acromouse there were 10 if there last night but from the sound of it there about another 8-10 that weren’t able to attend. It was nice to get out with other women and to share a nice evening.
Checking in on day 5
All over I had a good day today, nothing out of the ordinary, but maybe that’s the reason I enjoyed the day so much. The last months have been bumpy, and routine can be very satisfying at times.
This morning I went for my morning walk, I left too late (9:00 am), it’s getting too hot by now!
After that I did my weekly cleaning, I usually do that while listening to an audio book, to me cleaning is something I don’t mind doing, it can even be relaxing!
In the afternoon I went to the public pool, which was packed! But still I managed to get one of the sun beds, and started reading a new book (this time in paper, no audio book), besides hopping in the pool a few times!
Yesterday I watched “Beautiful Son”, I don’t know how I ended choosing that movie, but being about addiction, it obviously hit me quite hard. I really enjoyed watching it, despite the tough subject.
Now I’m just chilling a bit on my terrace, trying to decide what to have for dinner. I hope my sleep improves, right now I’m not sleeping too well, I guess I have to get through another few bad nights before everything falls into place!
sending strength 🩵
glad everyone is doing well 
-23-
