Wow, congrats your yoga class! Awesome you went there! I also survived alive from my train trip, yay! I didn’t get any panic attacks and my anxiety levels were surprisingly low. After that I went to pharmacy and grocery store. I’m so happy I went out from my comfort zone and survived, I did things sober which would have been impossible to do before without substances.
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That is super news. So glad your sober journey is happening for you.
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Well done fantastic achievement
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I did some cultural heritage studies as a part of my archaeology studies in the past. And I used to have a small herbal garden with medical plants when the kids was small.
Therefore some friends of mine call me The “Pit Pan kitchen witch” 
So yes,I absolutely find it interesting.
I’m really looking forward to it.
I haven’t decided for real yet, I already have two bachelor degrees so I might not need another one. Not sure if I can really afford it either. But I’m starting to think more and more that it’ll have to work out somehow.
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Day 8 feeling good focused coming into a long weekend
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Day 171
Couple of pics from my early evening walk. Having grown up under the flight path of an International Airport I have always loved watching planes land. You can see one in the sunset pic.
Peace and strength to you all
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Day 153
Slept a full night with no nightmares or flashbacks. And awoke to August. The light looks different as the sun rises. The angle has changed.
So I’m greatly looking forward to my trip to New Mexico on the 17th. It’s special as I’m going to be researching neighborhoods, and I haven’t seen my big brother in a while. I’m ready to start my journey west. I was born in California. Will likely make my home in northern New Mexico or Colorado. Love it there for many reasons. Snow but plenty of sunshine too. Cooler summers. Native & Mexican art and culture. I’ll be going back and forth for a while as I get this house ready to sell.
I like not having sleep issues so I can get some work done. Gutters are full of roofing nails and assorted crap. My list is long 
Happy August and may you enjoy the best sober day.
It’s STILL not 5 months for me. 
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Day 2323 alcohol free. 6 month caffeine free, 80 days tobacco free. Today is the start of Ms. Monkey and I’s anniversary month. We disagree on the exact date we started our relationship. Easiest way to solve it, celebrate the entire month!
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I’ve spent some time as a manager in the restaurant biz. There should be a number on the ice machine. Call them and have them come out and do it. Then your lazy crap managers can deal with the service call since they don’t wanna run a good ship. All ice machines create mold quickly and bad because of the cold temps and moisture. They’re supposed to be serviced with routine maintenance often lol.
One of the reasons I quit managing. I was the only one doing anything out of a team of 4
Sorry you had a crap day 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1509. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in day 136. One last job tomorrow before 4 weeks leave starts. I do have one little extra job put in for a return client but that’s no stress.
Taking my wife and kids, and the wife’s sister out to sushi for lunch tomorrow. I can’t stand the stuff but my wife and her sister love it. She couldnt eat it during the pregnancy so she’ll really appreciate it.
Hope everyone has a great end of week!
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Yes! Every night the gaskets and covers are supposed to be wiped with sanitizer. Weekly the condenser coils are supposed to be cleaned. Montly there should be a cleaning cycle with a chemical solution, and quarterly there should be a service call from the company to get to the places we can’t.
All of these things are after closing tasks because (aside from the daily one) you have to turn off the ice machine and empty it.
But I have been put on open shifts because nobody else wants to come in at 4.
And the store manager has decided that her plus two always changing baristas are going to do the weekly cleaning for the store.
She made them cards to check things off as they go, since none of them have done the cleanup before…and didn’t put any of the cleaning tasks for the ice machine on any of the cards. So nobody has been cleaning it since May. 
I did put in a service call, but I was trying to do what I could myself. I care, even though I say 10000x a shift I don’t care and I’m going to leave 
I just wish that the people who are supposed to be the leaders would work as a team and do what needs to be done. Instead of leaving it all to the next person until nobody is left or one person has to do it all.
This is what it looked like after I had used 3 rounds of cleaning chemicals, a bunch of sanitizer, and a whole bag of towels/rags 
The pink is mold I couldn’t get out
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God Bless you lol
If you were on my team it wouldn’t go unnoticed or under appreciated. Keep being a good person sister 
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119 days sober
It’s been a busy day here. I had some time this morning for a hike and did a lot of thinking. I’m wanting to get back into the trauma workbook but am waiting to see what my new counselor suggests. I just wanns keep proactive.
I went to my neighbors celebration today. Parties here are something else for sure. Gladly she put me into a group that was all with mutual friends and there wasn’t anyone drinking which is nice for me. In the past I never drank in a public thing like that but I just feel a bit too vulnerable right now being around people who are drinking so was glad to not have to deal with that. It was a fun time together.
I went to one of the orphanages after that. It was nice seeing all the kids there. I realized I missed them after not going much the past few months. We had a good time together though played football and some other games. Was able to sit down with a few girls who are particularly close to me and talked with them about how they are doing. There was a few new kids there and I was able to meet them and chat some. I think in the next week or so I will organize a picnic for everyone as an outting for them. Will be something nice and a bit special for them. It was good being back. I didn’t feel that heaviness in my heart as intensely as I usually would. I felt good afterwards instead of sad and depressed. So I’m thankful for that.
I’m in the for the evening. It’s getting darker out earlier these days and I can feel the air starting to cool. I could nearly smell snow in the air today and I had to put on a fire in the evenings now. Am amazed how fast the summer is going by.
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11 days down. Have been feeling very strong urges since yesterday, but all the pain the addiction caused me is still very fresh in my mind to give in. I’m going to make it my life goal to remember, as long as I’m breathing. Also, noted a big trigger, so now I know to try and avoid it. My sobriety so far has been feeling atrocious mentally and physically, but objectively doing the best a have in a long long while.
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Huge congratulations on 7 months sober! 
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It the one that attaches to the hose! It looks like a windew bottle, but it has a special attachment on top. The windows could maybe use another go, but its also the first time I ever tried to and man is it satisfying. Strong recommend lol.
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Hey Jules,
I just wanted to send some warm thoughts your way. Im also wondering if you are getting any help for your anxiety specifically (therapy, medication, etc?). When I got sober, my anxiety was there thumping very loudly and it has been years of working on tools, like tools for being sober, in order to learn about this separate part of me…it can surely take over. Ill just share a bit about what I have done over the past almost 20 yrs.
When I first got sober, i thought just alcohol was my issue and was feverishly working the program I was in in order to be better. It wasnt until my mentor and I discussed anxiety as a separate issue that I sought help for that. I tried medicafion and found one that was helpful (it didnt effect how i felt or my energy, it just took the bottom out) and I started to seek additional therapy for past trauma and CBT to learn how to understand and cope with anxiety. I was able to stop taking my medication after some time, yet I would continually seek out therapy or support when I was in a place in life where my anxiety got loud or I had a specific issue to work through. Over these years I have picked up a lot of understanding for myself, the connection between my body and mind and my reaction vs responses to situation. I can tell you I no longer feel like anxiety and mental illness run my life, my brain and how it works is just a part of me.
When my sister was killed my anxiety went through the roof. And I leaned on alcohol; which has brought me here again, to a place of once again seeking sobriety. I knew for me that my anxiety was so high, that I once again needed help and support to make it through these difficult times. I once again started taking medication, which has helped and started doing intensive therapy. I am now in a place where I am doing less therapy, and I know that at some point in the future I will again ween off the medication. I have already started reducing the dose, thouhh i do not plan on coming completely off until the trial is done.
The things we do that harm us, are things we are doing to cope. Part of us is trying so desperately to help, but its just not a healthy way. When we put down that coping mechanism it makes ABSOLUTE sense that we are flooded with the things we were using to cope, and in order to help ourselves we have to dive into learning new ways. Its not something that happens overnight, and hell I tell everyone finding the right thing that works for you is like trying to find the right pair of jeans or bathing suit…dint give up if the first one doesnt fit! Keep trying till you find what fits and works for you. Im wishing you all the well wishes of this world. You are a beautiful person, and you deserve to feel at peace with yourself. Go find your supports and fill up that tool belt, we are here for you all the way! Xoxoxoz.
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Heyyyyy
Your a inspiration to me and im 100% sure also to others
Take care moonwoman
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