Checking in on day 11. Wrapping up work for the week soon. Surprisingly not craving that Friday beer but laying low this weekend to make sure I am not tempted.
Enjoy the weekend y’all!
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The official meaning of S&M, should be that: Sales & Marketing.
The truth is, I am “Mädchen für alles”: Sales, marketing, channel manager for our social media accounts, I maintain our website, sales visits, contracting, site inspections, I go to trade shows (B2B), organization of events / tournaments, reception work if necessary, reservations agent, phone operator, revenue reporting, psychologist when my colleagues have problems, bla bla… 
It never gets boring!
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Congrats on day 11! 
Keep it up.
I work at a golf course! 
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Day 901
Just wanted to check in this afternoon. Day is going well. I received a phone call from my sons primary oncology nurse and she will be speaking with the Oncologist today (apparently the Dr doesnt leave until next week, so Im grateful that I caught her in time). Just waiting for a call back to see what the plan is to look at my sons lesion. Have gotten a lot of cleaning done. Grocery list is made for when my hubby comes home from work. Ill be heading out to do our major grocery shop at walmart. And then once home i will try my best to relax bcuz its my first of three overnight shifts i have to do. So i want to prepare for that. Thats about it so far. Grateful to be clean and sober! Hope everyone is enjoying their day 
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Congratulations on double digits my friend!!! Thats awesome! Keep up the great work!
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Thanks Dana! How are you holding up?
EDIT: sorry @Butterflymoonwoman I just saw your previous update!
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Im better today, thank u for asking 
I am keeping my mind busy with cleaning while i wait for a call back from my sons primary nurse. She is going to chat with the Dr today
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Checking in day 214 AF 
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Checking in grateful, amazing weather today. Workout & Run done for the day. Day 131 clean. Nice 24 everyone
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A day late but huge congratulations on your 900 days
So proud of you 
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Day 10. I discovered that loneliness is a big factor in my last relapses
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Well its almost the end of the work day and I am still feeling low, im angry with myself because im know better. The feelings will pass. I have no urge to drink im feeling ashamed 
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@lighter There it is officially! 5 months and going strong girl! Did you go get that sun burn celebrating your awesomeness?
@kris So happy that you talked some sense into you. It is crazy how our addict mind works. Grateful to see you looking ahead to achievable milestones. Keep reaching for the stars my friend. 
@carlydykes Welcome to the community and glad to see you checking in with 12 days! Smart to try and find a hobby or something to keep yourself busy. Some days I was too tired to do anything so just sat like a sloth and played silly games on my phone till i had to sleep. Whatever gets you through the craving is good. Stay connected with us here too – this is a great place full of advice, support and distractions. You are among friends… keep pushing through – it does get easier.
@catmancam Thanks friend. Feels good to be sober and keep my timers in tact. Way to go on achieving your goals. Hope you were able to get some decluttering done. 
@laner Sorry about the loss of your neighbor. This can be a very exhausting and emotional time. Grateful you are able to be there for your neighbors 
Congrats on your 120 days!
Smart move! Best not to tempt temptation. You are doing great with 11 days. Keep stacking up the days and building those sober muscles
@jesile Yeah to double digits and man that is a lot of hats. Glad Menmo asked cause I too was curious on what S&M meant. Thank you for the explanation
@butterflymoonwoman Glad you were able to get a hold of the oncologist… hope he can set up a good plan before he leaves for the week. Sending you energy and calming vibes as you tackle the overnight shift ahead 
@leroy look at you sneaking in. Glad to see you friend. Great work on 131 days clean Keep kicking ass ODAAT
@bomdhil You are too sweet and kind my friend. Thank you so much Keep at it friend… you are at double digits and climbing… 
@button83 Fuck that shame — our addict mind lives on it and that is what it uses to keep us in its throws. You are getting out of this cycle and pushing through with fierceness! The energy levels will be low, you will feel like crap but do know that this does not last. Hang tough my friend… we are all here in your corner! Keep pushing forward
Checking in on Friday evening
590 days free of alcohol and weed
1005 days free of cigarettes
Its been a day. Had the best walk ever this morning followed by a lovely swim. Thankfully the rain storms held off till much later in the day and only lasted a few hours. I did finally get to some paperwork and followed up on some applications that I had filed to find out that they never went through. Grateful I went in person and got it cleared up. Spent a good 4 hours getting it all sorted and have a follow up call in September. Serves me right for procrastinating.
Got a shit ton of errands done. Got super frustrated with my long tangled always damp hair that i took scissors to it today. A total hack job and grateful I was able to get it cleaned up professionally. Feel better and lighter.
Treated myself to some Thai food and watched Space Cadet on Prime. Gonna call it an early night.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending you all so much love
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I feel very stressed out and triggered yet I barely have any stressors going on in my life. I don’t have a job I live in a very supportive group home that is free of charge so I don’t even pay rent. I have no idea why I’m stressed or why I’m letting it get to me. I didn’t get any sleep last night bc I was in sm pain. That might contribute to how I’m feeling. I went to urgent care and got a anti-inflammatory shot as well as litochaine patches and a medication for spasms for my back. Doctor said they could feel the spasms and my back is very irritated. Glad I got some treatment and fingers crossed tonight will be better. Praying no pain waking me up in the middle of the night so I can get some real sleep.
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1883
Working weekend coming up. I should be in Paris to shout my nephew towards a rowing medal this morning but well, I’m not. Will have to watch him at work. I’m a bit ashamed about it but it is what it is and shame is such a negative counterproductive emotion.
Otherwise I’m OK. Did another emdr session from which I came away less exhausted than the previous one. That’s good. Woke up lots this night, many dreams. It’s muggy and Luna was up and about early too.
Anyway. Let’s have as good a day as we all can friends. And let’s make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from the dairy farm where I got some really excellent cheese yesterday. Love.
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@Button83 welcome back if there’s any left, pour it down the drain, drink some water, get some rest, and start again. You know you can do it, sending strength 🩵
@Laner sorry for your loss 
@Jesile congrats on good sleep 
and double digits
@Bomdhil congrats on double digits
@Jules000 wishing you a pain-free sleep 
1453 days no alcohol.
918 days no cocaine.
433 days no vape.
6 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Yesterday I did every part of my daily routine; I caught-up here, meditated, did my morning routine, did my steps & rehab exercises, listened to an episode of a podcast, and watched an episode of TV in the lounge. I also attended my nurse appointment in the morning, and online therapy in the afternoon.
I haven’t slept for a single second. Instead of letting myself fall asleep when I was tired at 8pm, I went with the urge to watch an episode of TV in the lounge, something that is supposed to be part of my daily routine, but that I haven’t done for atleast a month, maybe two. So, when I tried to go to sleep an hour later, my brain wasn’t having any of it, and I have paid the price of Insomnia. I need to stay awake today too, because I have a lot of jobs to do around the flat, ready for the inspection next Thursday. I am hoping the tiredness I’m now feeling won’t get in the way.
No joke, I have captured and released 5 spiders during the night! In varying sizes. I have a phobia of them so now I’m hypervigilant 
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
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Day 12 turned into day 0. For a hundredth time thought I have control, ignored some triggers, went spiraling until nothing could overpower the obsessive thought.
I promised myself I’ll never relapse, and I let myself down. But I woke up today, opened my eyes to the loving Universe with bottomless sky and soothing sound of tender wind. And I’ve braced myself to make it proud, to forgive myself and try as hard as I can.
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