@JazzyS sweet dreams my dear sober friend
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more time is more time to think and now I feel like I need to punish myself
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the opposite is true ā now is when you love yourself for having the courage to quit knowing how difficult it would be but you put your health first. You canāt keep pushing yourself at a job when your body is not well.
At no time do you ever need to punish yourself. Please do not think like that. Are you able to get in touch with a friend? In person or online or on the phone? Someone to hang with to occupy the time? Are you able to start a hobby like drawing or craft work that will keep you busy? Maybe if you already have something then work on that ā possibly something you can look into for selling on Etsy as a hobby / job? I know some friends that have done great going this route.
Sending you love and hugs my friend ā please be kind to yourself 
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Iāve been debating selling some things on Etsy, Iām also going to work on applying for disability. i already promised a friend I wonāt punish myself so I will be alright
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Oh thatās great news all around. I am glad that you have talked and promised your friend this and do know we are all here for you as well.
yes love ā you will be alright Grateful that you came here to talk this out
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Coming up on day 665.
Iām exhausted.
But Iām sober.
I wish I could just sleep for 24 hours.
Well Iām hopefully off to sleep. Work again at 4 
Love yāall
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Day 903
Evening check in. Well I got thru another day. I did ask if i could leave work 2 hours early as i was ready to fall asleep lol and it got approved, so i was able to get home by 330pm. Hubby ran an errand and then once home, i got some well needed rest. Just ONE more overnight to do. I know i can get thru it 
Just putting my son to bed soon and then will have a nice shower. Have a good night everyone! 
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I know youāre right Jasmine. Iāve overdone it and my back in killing me. I have napped as needed through your the weekend. Iāve gotten most of my boxes unpacked but a lot of organizing still to do.
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Checking in day 414 AF
Over did it with unpacking and my back is wrecked. I know I shouldnāt have done as much as I did but I canāt stand clutter.
The Cat is settling in and that warms my heart. Heās been with me through thick and thin.
Exhausted going to bed early this evening.
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247 days
Gym in the morning. Partnered up with a guy that explained heāll be taking it easy because he had a big weekend, āyou know how it isā. Told him yea I know how it is but Iām off the booze 8months now. He was surprised but we talked about it a couple times during the session.
Just waiting to pick the kids up from school. Work tonight. Hopefully a quiet one.
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Day 5
This morning was really good for me. I slept for 8 hours, and although I still had nightmares, I feel very energized. I took my 3-year-old Labrador, Daisy, for a 2 km walk. Iāve scheduled an AA physical meeting for this evening. Itās monsoon season here in India, and I enjoyed the rain.
Cravings are especially bad this season because my brain is used to associating it with drinking. But I hope that, one day at a time, I can teach my brain to think differently.
Sending love to all.
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Stay safe Trevor!
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Checking in at the start of day 86. Been super busy with travel and house sitting. Feels so good to be back home in my own bed. Doing well in my sobriety. Had a few moments of tough cravings, like in your face cravings, but worked through them. Really reflecting on how far I have come, the positives in my life and the damage one drink can do really helps me through those in your face tough cravings. They really do pass and when itās over one feels so elated, a sense of accomplishment! Itās all worth it. Especially so today, as I just found out Iām going to be a grandma and I want to be the best grandma I can be!
Have a wonderful night/day all.
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@MrFantastik Mario Kart! We havenāt touched our Switch in such a long time. Thanks for reminding me I have it 
@MrsOdh Oh wow, so much family drama 
Glad you can keep a level head 
If itās for your own sanity, yes.
@CATMANCAM I use diffusers, which seems to work overall. Iāve read you can also put drops on cotton balls and place them around entry points or into water in a spray bottle.
@Button83 
Keep coming back 
@Bluekoolaid Itās so great you have someone to talk to at work! I am beyond grateful for my job Our GM has 30 years and has seen me at my worst(blacking out at work 
). Anywhere else I woulda been fired 5 times over, but bc he understands, heās always been there for me. I think knowing heās proud of me means the most of all. Iām proud of you for putting in all this work Keep it up!
536
Last night wasnāt bad at all 
The hardest part was serving the dinner 7 hours into my shift. Four courses to 200+ people. There werenāt enough capable carriers so my shoulders got a workout (they are feeling it right now 
) My reward was to watch the fireworks and eat leftover desserts 
(easy fuel at the time) Cleanup always sucks, but we got it done by midnight. By that time last year I was completely exhausted and done with the whole thing, but I got an endorphin rush that gave me a second wind. I actually wanted to stay til the end and celebrate with the winners like in past years (not by drinking this time), but I thought of my daughter and left at 12:30. Fell asleep the second I hit the pillow 
It was the right choice, as I heard they stayed past 4am! Grateful to rest and enjoy the last day of our county fair with my daughter. It was really fun, just insanely expensive 
We ate like kings when we got home bc I took as many leftovers as I could the whole weekend! Ready for my bed again. Have a wonderful start to your week!
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Iām here, Iām alive Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 159.
Weather is back to warm and no rain at least for today and tomorrow.
My husband is going to help Engjy Benjy to build a porch today. Or at least help him to lead the work, Engjy Benjy and his brother that my husband is going to pick up on the way is supposed to build.
I wasnāt impressed because we where supposed to do something fun today. But as a Thank you weāre going to get lots of material to our own porch, so it might be worth it.
No drama yesterday, family is on itās own. Ma was supposed to call about picking up her car, and about the date for our Halloween stay, she thought she might have a concert booked that day. She didnāt call and got drunk with my sister instead so I feel like itās not my problem anymore.
Today me and they boys are going to try and do some outdoor activities in our village. Maybe go to the playground, take a walk, a bike ride or something like that.
Thank you everyone for your support.
Thatās all Folks 
Wishing yāall a wonderful day.
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Thank you for your words, Jazzy! Iām glad to hear Iām not the only who is struggling with selflove. And thank you for the tip, Iāll try it when the downward spiral is about to start.
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1885
One day off. I slept long, obviously I need it. It was hard getting out of bed as I hurt a muscle in my back between my shoulder blades somewhere. No idea what happened but it feels rather unpleasant. Well. Letās see what paracetamol will do.
Otherwise Iām good. Time to do some house chores today. Watch some more Olympics. Go to my third Recovery Dharma later. Cook and eat some healthy food. That should be enough really. Stay sober and clean of course. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from my commute.
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257 sugar
121 UPF
128 gluten
27 dairy
10 overeating
On vacation.
Today Iām planning to spend my morning in my favourite book shop āTajne kompletyā with a walk to the Piaski island in the river Odra afterwards.
Chats with family, some walk in the afternoon. I also want to plan my upcoming train trip on Wednesday to Kudowa: more family, more memories.
Letās keep our hearts open friends: in peace, kindness and freedom 
ODAAT
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Second check in and quick update.
Why canāt I ever have a nice and calm day?
My husband is at the hospital with what they think is a blod clot in his arm.
He got half way to Engjy Benjy and then he and Engjy Benjys brother had to call an ambulance, because my husband couldnāt feel his arm and couldnāt keep in driving.
Ambulance came, said that itās probably a blod clot and drove him to the hospital.
Iāll keep you guys updated.
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Why canāt you ever have a nice and calm day? Thinking about you and your family/husband and hoping for best possible outcome/ resolution. Iām really sorry and hope it can quickly and easily be remedied. Big hugs for you @MrsOdh
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