Feeling really good this morning. I’ve slept 2 full nights in a row. Feels like I haven’t slept in years. Maybe my summer insomnia will let go a bit now. It usually does. Working through some rough things in therapy really rattled me, then calm. Memories and flashbacks are so disturbing. But I’m making progress. I haven’t woken up like that in a few days.
I’m very happy about what’s ahead, though there’s not even a rough outline. Lots of travel, some work, and a relocation is all I know. I know where I’ll move to, or close to there. Not knowing used to bother me. Trust yourself sober. It’s going to go off-plan anyway
Stupid hot today- 103. Heat index much higher. you are waning, Sun! Go ahead and tantrum because pumpkin spice is coming for ya!
Glad to hear it @Button83 Julia. on to Day 2 and I’m so happy you’re here with us.
How many breakfasts does a Maine Coon need? Yes, they’re huge but the food. Damn! It’s my fault I put her on a diet. Now I suffer more more
Day 902
Well last nights awake overnight shift with my son wasnt that bad. He slept well meaning that i got to relax a bit. I do feel really tired today tho but im already at work hoping the day will go by quickly. Its beautiful weather here also and im super grateful for that. Besides work im not doing too much else. Ill definitly be relying on caffeine to help me get thru this day and stay awake. Hope everyone enjoys their saturday!
@mno Congrats to Simon on his bronze! No shame friend – you would be there if you could and you are cheering him on and sending him positive vibes from your corner of the world. Glad the latest EMDR session was less exhausting. Hope you have a relaxing easy day today. @alena Glad you are right back here working on your day 1. It is hard when you are stacking up the days and your addict brain tries to convince you that you got this – you aren’t an addict – you can quit any time. These are all lies as we have learned from our previous relapses. Knowing your triggers, being on guard against these lies and having a good support system is a great way to start building on your recovery. ODAAT! @just_laura That is a chaotic day – grateful it all calmed down and worked out in the end. Wishing you luck for today – hope it all goes smoothly and easily for you @kareness Sorry for the emotional week that you have been experiencing. Opening up with an emotional share can stir up some things for sure. Hope that you are able to find peace and a way out of this state (are you able to do something for yourself, talk to a friend / counselor, watch something light and funny, dance to some good upbeat music, go for a walk in a park) – these things help me when i’m feeling low. Hoping that the insurance company responds quickly so you are not without meds. Great work on your sober time friend – this is always so impressive to see @mrsodh Dang – that is not a friend. No way should you have to put up with that talk or those actions. Glad you did block him and Hoping that he will leave you alone. Do not feel bad-- being nice doesn’t always work and sometimes we have to be stern when setting our boundaries. @damianuk OOH that sounds delicious – have fun with the blackberry picking and eating that delicious crumble! 47 days is amazing work – keep it going strong @mrmoustache Great work on 26 days – love a good day reading when its rainy outside – hope you enjoy it. I personally became vegan and stuck to it after watching the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan documentary. It is amazing how many cool non processed recipes there are to find on the net. @thirdmonkey I do hope a manager showed. Nothing worse than having to hold it and try to think at work. @Ncgolfer Yeah to day 12! Sorry you are feeling low today. Are you able to do some self care for yourself (even if it is indoors)? A hike outdoors sounds great too – maybe put on some happy music or watch a comic skit to get the happy neurons firing. Remember that this phase does not last… you are doing great Sean!
Checking in on Saturday morning
It was a hard night of little to no sleep and a lot of time in the bathroom. The Thai food (was delicious) but did not sit well with me at all. Grateful to be clear of that and will not be keeping the leftovers
Did not get my morning routine but did manage a ton of coffee. Ready for a nap already LOL . Got a few loads of laundry done and have a decent list of things to get done today – hoping that I will be able to tackle them with ease.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Thanks, Jazzy! Luckily the rain stopped for couple of hours, so I took a walk, felt really good. Wow, I haven’t seen that documentary, gotta check it out! Thanks!
121 days sober
Just a quick check in. I’m totally exhausted tonight. Spent all day in the funeral yurt and am just spent from it all. Tomorrows the last day ending in burial. Then my neighbors will start their 40 days…this is the hardest because they can’t leave their house during this time. Am struggling to know how to support them in the upcoming month. I can do practical things like bring them buckets of water and food. And sit with them for visits.
Thanks @JazzyS , yes, I will definitely try to do something for myself today, either read a book or go for a walk somewhere. I sort of get locked in to a routine and need to break out of it once in a while, especially with teenaged twins always in their rooms and never wanting to go anywhere. Feeling better already today after a good night’s sleep and sleeping in until 8:30!
Had a bit of cravings last night because my laptop’s battery randomly just broke lol, but I resisted the cravings. It’s crazy that random, small bad things in life can trigger cravings, but I’ve been managing!
I’ll try to get my laptop repaired tomorrow rather than buying a new one, since this laptop isn’t that old and like it has a lot of setup scripts and coding projects on it that I can’t really recover unless it’s fixed since it’s stuff I written. From now on, I’ll backup all my coding projects in Git repositories and such, also will install some backing up software. Worst case if my laptop is irreparable, I have a SATA-to-USB cable so I can extract my storage devices from the laptop and copy all my stuff onto a new laptop if it comes down to that The storage devices themselves should be fine, since it looks like it was the battery that broke.
@MrMoustache Oh i’m glad you were able to get outside for your walk. The documentary is called The Game Changers. Was fortunate enough to see it the one night our local cinema played it @laner I think just being there and doing what you are doing will be supportive and appreciated. . @Thirdmonkey thanks for the laugh and glad you were relieved in time. @Kareness Glad to hear that you slept in and woke up feeling better – that’s always a great way to start the day. I totally get getting stuck in a routine – hope you can break out of it today. I am gonna do the same
Seriously this is the craziest part. I think that when the things happen (no matter how big or small) a part of brain is activated and this is the part we would shut off with our DOC. Now we have to learn to find better ways to deal with the BS in life LOL. Glad you were able to stay clear of the cravings. I do hope the laptop is repairable but grateful to know you have a back up way to get your data.
Checking in on day 11
Another hectic day at work, August should be low season… I don’t see it yet, after a 12-hour shift! Right now I’ll just hop under the shower, and watch some TV! My weekend starts here!
Holy heck have I been busy my a/c unit showed up I got that installed late Thursday night and early into Friday morning my house has never been this cold before and I love it the weather man is talking thunder storms and high winds for tonight
you are waning, Sun! Go ahead and tantrum because pumpkin spice is coming for ya! 
more more 
The storage devices themselves should be fine, since it looks like it was the battery that broke.
thanks for the laugh and glad you were relieved in time.
Right now I’ll just hop under the shower, and watch some TV! My weekend starts here! 
the weather man is talking thunder storms and high winds for tonight