282 days no sugar
146 UPF
20 gluten
20 dairy
My daughter has been in and out of migraines for three days now in a row. I hope the weather cooldown and change in meds will bring some relief. I also am having quite a bad headache, especially as my period started today.
So I’m going to spend my day with self- and child-care.
Nonetheless I’ll keep my heart and mind open to life today 
@Seb Congratulations 
@JUSTINo Welcome back!
@wahtisnormal Sending peace and hugs. Sometimes life is heavy for sure.
@Juli1 I have to remind myself that boring is better than chaotic and fragile.
1480
Wednesday I forgot to take my daughter to her regular dentist appointment (for braces we have to go every month) and then today I went for my yearly health check and was told the appointment was for last week and I had to make a new one. They are not such huge mistakes, and I know there is plenty of stuff I did remember this week (going to a high school open day, replying to emails about my son’s after school care, etc) but each mistake does more to reaffirm my lack of confidence in myself. For various reasons my confidence (not high to start with) has really taken a dive, and I keep finding things to keep it down.
I know I have things to be proud of: four years sober to start, no self-harm for months (probably more than a year by now) and no binge eating for months either. I am working more hours than I ever did, studying and cleaning more. But I always feel it is not enough, others do more and better. And it makes me defensive and envious.
@JUSTINo Welcome back and hell of a job on day 5! This is a very helpful and supportive place to be - glad you are here with us fighting the good fight
@wahtisnormal Hey Zoe - was just thinking of you. So sorry that you are feeling so low. Sometimes we do just need to sit with our sad feelings and acknowledge them and not try to squash them with our addictions. Sending you loads of hugs and love and hope that these feelings do not last long 
@juli1 WOOHOO Girl watch out now – look at you go! 7 months is awesome work Jules I also love how far you have come in your journey and the realization that you are WONDERFUL just as you are! That is a huge step forward 
@acromouse Oh i’m sorry that your daughter is not finding relief – hoping today is the day. I just had a really bad one all day yesterday and just a dull headache today – it may be the change in seasons. A better head pain free for all of us 
@Misokatsu That is a great list to start with and I know there is so much more to be added to it. You are a wonderful caring woman. A great attentive mother (don’t worry about the mix up of appointments - that happens to everyone at some point). I know it is easy to start comparing ourselves with others but let me tell you that most of the time we don’t see the full picture and only end up hurting ourselves with self doubt and feeling less than. Nothing less than about you Flo. Hoping you are able to start practicing some positive affirmations to help with your confidence… the more you repeat them (possibly in front of a mirror) the more you may start feeling them to be true.
Checking in on early Friday morning. I am up and ready to start the day - i do like the quiet of the morning hours. Been a very long time since I’ve been able to do this. My off sleep pattern is making this possible for now a I’ll take it. Going to enjoy my quiet time now with some coffee. Have soaked some oats for breakfast and am really looking forward to them. 
Not much planned for today - have a festival next week to prep for and month end is approaching for accounting. Will try to enjoy the weekend and hopefully get in a swim!
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
@SoberWalker I hope the sick feeling has passed and that your feet are okay for your weekend 
@Alicat22 congrats on double digits I’m glad you all enjoyed Alton Towers 
I haven’t been there for about 10 years!
@acromouse I hope your and your daughter’s headaches have passed
@Misokatsu sending strength to get through the last few days of school holidays 🩵 PS you are enough 🩵
@Jesile I hate days like that sending strength 🩵
@Lefty624 feel better soon 🩵 congrats on 70 days
@Laner I hope you’re okay sorry the encounter bought your trauma to the surface, hopefully you can bring it up in your next therapy session. Sending strength 🩵
@Sissychris39 congrats on your week of no shopping
@Jasty2 sorry about the Covid sending healing vibes 
feel better soon 🩵
@Mischa84 sending you energy 
@Seb congrats on 200 days
@JazzyS I hope your migraine has passed I had a beast of one yesterday afternoon, thankfully it has disappeared overnight 
@icebear aww, so cute 
looks like he’s feeling settled already 🩵
@JUSTINo welcome back 
congrats on day 5
@wahtisnormal sending hope and strength 🩵
@Juli1 congrats on 7 months I’m glad you are feeling happier with yourself, may it continue
@Mno I hope therapy helps today sending strength 🩵 the plant made me smile, thanks for pointing it out 
1480 days no alcohol.
945 days no cocaine.
460 days no vape.
4 days no binge-eating.
Yesterday I did all of my routine things; caught up here, read a chapter of a book, meditated, did my morning routine, all by 10:30am.
I didn’t write about it in my check-in yesterday, incase I couldn’t go through with it, but my plan was to go to the gym and swimming at 12:30pm. I actually did it! My new gym trainers were painful to walk in. I am so weak and unfit, everything was hard and painful, the changing room was a terrifying experience, the slow lane in the pool was busy, and my back really hurt, I could barely hold my legs up. My goggles also must be broken because they refused to de-mist. I persevered with them wrapped around my wrist anyway. I have ordered a new pair ready for going again tomorrow.
Today is Friday therapy. Beforehand I plan to do my routine things again.
🩵
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 184.
Had my hairdresser appointment this morning. Of course I was so nervous that I almost fainted, had to lay down in the chair for a few minutes and then drink water.
I don’t know why things like that happens sometimes but it does.
Luckily the hairdresser was amazing and understanding. It ended with a longer wolfcut. The bangs still don’t want to co-operate but she said it’ll look better after around four washes when the hair has adjusted.
She also asked me if I wanted it styled like it should be. I said no, just as straight as possible.
It is supposed to look amazing when it’s slightly curled or messy. So I’ll try that sometime soon.
14 y/o is home today, he said he needed to “rest from the world” and sometimes you actually do need to rest from the world. So he is.
I talked to his teacher as well, and she said that he should rest and come back on Monday. So nice with teachers who understands.
That’s all Folks 
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
Day #271
So one week back at home with the family. Still sober and proud of myself 
. Yesterday we celebrated 6th birthday of my brother’s boy, the theme was Space 
and everything was good 
The kids were happy 
Today is day for packing again suitcase for the last summer vacation at the seaside for a week 
So this summer i might don’t have a job but at least i was able to lay on the beach almost whole summer season 
I had one time on the previous vacation which i really wanted to have a cocktail because i was very nervous and mad at my bestie, she was able to made me very angry with her behaviour for some things and Im happy that I was able to stay sober.
Tomorrow morning with my boy will go to Sunny Beach again this time for 6 nights then we will go to Saint Vlas for 2 nights which is another city near to Sunny Beach 
After this vacation Im thinking to start searching for a new job 
because the life of housewife is not for me it drives me crazy to stay at home all day and to do the home stuff all day , whole week … months
The cake looks amazing.
Love all of your travel tips, I’m still trying to convince the family that Bulgaria would be a nice vacation county.
Personally I loved being a stay at home wife, but we’re all different. I’m glad that you get to do what makes you happy.
Good luck job hunting. I hope y’all get a wonderful vacation.
Super proud of you!! Glad you went but sorry it was such an ordeal. Hope the new goggles arrive on time and you can have another go 
Ooh that cake looks amazing! Glad you did not cave to that urge…noone is ever worth giving up your sobriety for.
Enjoy your vacation…a summer on the beach sounds like heaven
Thanks @Jesile @Twizzlers @JazzyS @Vanessa8 @Misokatsu @CATMANCAM
And thanks to all you lovely people in this wonderful community
thank you for your post Juli and congratulations to great achievement. I like what you wrote about thoughts, relationship with ourselves - it’s indeed practice and constant work. It’s a path we are on. Keep it up.
Another day with morning routines I’ve established recently. Started to listen to worship playlists on Spotify - man, it provides me with incredible energy back. Doing meditations and breathing exercises. Started my training plan yesterday with running. God, can’t understand why I don’t suffer from high blood pressure and especially too high heart rate during running considering recent drinking (nights). I’ve been working hard recent weeks, days to stop, it’s constant work, piece by piece, building up solid ground on my new sobriety as I don’t want to fail again through another relapse.And this is it, it clicked in finally and it was so incredibly hard (as you know) this time to move away from that toxic behaviour, approach to myself. Thank you for your support, been here quite many hours lately.
272 days
Almost midnight here on nightshift.
Got to the gym in the morning, then home for a shower and nap. Went to pick up the kids from school, so saw them briefly before I had to go to work. Works been quiet, busy with some admin stuff but other than that its been ok.
Hey all, checking in on day 1538. I hope everybody has a good one!
Some awesome milestones reached today! Wtg team.
Checking in day 165. After this weekend it’s back to work. I’m looking forward to it but still upset I won’t get to spend so much time with my wife and kids.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Day 289, tgif i am very tired, but looking forward to an amazing weekend with my girls. Just doing my best to look at the positive in sittuations that i can. Work is challenging lately, still feel very taken advantage of and almost looked down on and i do believe its bc im a good hard worker. But idk maybe its my ego, anyways i try to look at it from all directions. Much love everyone
148 days sober
I went on a walk with my closest friend this morning and I told her about yesterday. How I became emotional over the question about my family. We talked about how I can answer similar questions in the future. And I told her about the few memories I have of them and little things I remember. It felt good to talk about it.
Talking things out helped clear my mind a bit which was good because yesterday my concentration at work was krap.
I stopped by the orphanage after work to see how the kids are getting on and gave some school supplies. I got really upset when I saw some bruises on a few kids and some told that the orphanage leader took some of the school uniforms I bought them to resell in order to make more money. 
And others told that the bruises were from the staff being rough with them over them getting upset when they had to give their new school uniforms up. There has been hassle like this from this same person in the past. I went and immediately talked to friends in social services about what happened and they are on it. They also know that I was given a grant to help buy these school things for the kids. Anyways I really was angry about this happening. Seeing kids especially ones who have no one on their side being mistreated is one of the things that gets under my skin the most.
