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Struggling tonight, feeling very depressed and low and empty. Feels like any time i finally get a break in life and find something positive or find happiness, it’s always taken away from me, or there’s always a catch. Feels like there’s lead in my heart.
Drinking some non-alcoholic wine. Dont know what else to do with myself right now, just kinda wanna sit here and dissociate and be sad. I don’t even want to eat which is crazy because i always have an appetite, even when I’m sad.
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My doctor was very helpful when he urged me not to drink any ‘non-alcoholic’ drinks at all, for two reasons: 1. they keep the link to your DOC intact and 2. they are rarely completely void of alcohol, so you risk unknowingly consuming your DOC still.
Has anything specific happened recently and if so, do you care to share with us or someone you trust? Keeping all your feelings in is not condusive to sobriety, in my experience.
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I’m sorry you’re feeling so low tonight. 
We are here for you. Hopefully things will look better in the morning.
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@zzz I love Remi Gaillard! I randomly saw his kangaroo skit(while searching for actual kangaroo videos) and had to find more 
He’s great!
Like this?! 
@Mischa84 Idk if this is the answer, but when you first mentioned your symptoms(eyes specifically), I immediately thought allergies. Since being sober, I’ve realized I seem to be allergic to alot more than I originally thought and learned about the vast sea of symptoms. Joint pain and fatigue surprised me, but definitely made sense once it lined up with other symptoms and pollen counts. Just a thought
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So tired today. I woke up to no electricity, but apparently it had been off for 45 minutes. Weird bc I usually wake right up when my fan or other white noise making machines shut off. My daughter went upstairs after breakfast and I layed back down. For 3 hours!!! I dreamt I was at work, but instead of having a bar, it was like a diner and I was the only one working(surprising) I had to serve, bus, and cook everything! It was a literal nightmare 
Then I get to actual work and everyone is already in a shit mood. At the end of the night, everyone was venting about the boss and most are on their last straw. For 8 years I’ve always (mostly) looked forward to going to work. This 9th year, I’ve dreaded it. Those with a few years agree. They’re all saying it’s not worth it anymore. She’s gonna run that place into the ground and idk if I’ll be there to see it 
Not gonna worry about it right now tho, the slow season’s coming!
Grateful the thought of drinking has become a nonexistent solution to anything 
If I was still drinking, thing’s would be BAD right now. I don’t think I could ever do that to myself again. Nah. Eff that. Not worth it.
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I woke up to the power having been out too, must have been pretty widespread. I thought it was weird cause yesterday’s thunderstorms largely passed us by.
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Stay strong. A slip will not help in any way, I’ve been there so many times.
Consider getting out for a walk or whatever else is your go to when things are tough. Don’t stew on this for hours & hours
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7y8m15d
I’m 5 days and 280 posts behind on this thread! It’s been a busy week. Met for coffee today with a woman I am going to start sponsoring - that’s the big news of the day. Have a good evening/morning!
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Thank you Drew! 
He just got past the cutie tax too!!
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That’s great news Karen! 
Hope it works out wonders for the both of you.
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7 months sober checking in
Sometimes I think, my life is boring. I am recovering and doing “boring” routines.
Next week I will start my new job, what means a whole new world opens and it will be a bit exhausting in the beginning. Happy to have my “boring” routines to go back too.
I wish I could work a bit more on socializing and I would love to build up a healthy relationship again. But first, I will go on strengthening the relationship with myself more. It already changed a lot. I recently learned that we are already wonderful, just as we are. And that all these thoughts of not being okay keeps us away from our true nature and de-pressing it. When these feelings are coming up I am aware that this pattern is activated. And able to step out. Out of the negative self talk bus, back into pure nature. Practicing.
Love you guys 
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Welcome back and well done for day 5 
How are you feeling?
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I think you are growing a lot mentally Julia, good to hear you feel it too yourself.
For me the most of the change came after more then 1 year sober so there is a whole lot more in store for you I feel 
Congratulations for the 
months milestone
Happy to be the first to congratulate you!
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Congratulations on 7 months. Let’s do this Juli!
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Ahwww thank you Claudia 
This makes me excited about the further journey 
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Thank you sweet friend
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You have cats in Leash?
I’ve never seen that before.
Guess it make sense if you live in a city where there’s a lot of cars.
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Congratulations to 7 months. And congratulations to your new job.
In my opinion, sometimes boring and routines are good. 
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1910
I had a better night but still woke up tired. Glad I get to see my therapist this morning. There’s some stuff on my mind. I feel it’s good I’m finally dealing (in a therapeutic way) with traumatic events from 50 years ago, I feel some window opened inside of me, but it’s bloody tough at times. Let’s have as good a day as we all can friends. And let’s make it sober and clean to begin with or nothing will come of it. Pic is just some folks waiting for the ferry. I liked the girl walking her plant. Love.
@Juli1 Just keep going and just keep growing Julia. Congrats on 7 months. Love to see your growth!
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Hear hear!
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