Up early as my friend is arriving this morning and I have to get my ass over to the airport to pick her up. I’m satisfied with the shape my place is in afte two days of clearing and cleaning. A little bit sore myself (yes cleaning is a good workout @acromouse Aga) but I’m OK overall and happy to see my friend very soon. Have as good a day as you can all my friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love. Pic is from 5 years ago, when she was here as well and we travelled through the country. When I still was drunk every day.
@Borderline_Billy On average people are more successful quitting everything at the same time and making it stick than one substance at the time. Including sickarettes. Nicotine is a beast but be sure you can do that too. Together with us all. Keep going friend. Now is the time.
Checking in tonight with 1 year 5 months and 6 days meth free and 5 months 6 days cigarette free.
I pray you all are hanging in there and taking it One Day At A Time!
Have a blessed night y’all
@Mischa84 Idk much about that type of withdrawal, but I’ve heard it’s one of the longest to go thru (this was from people who heavily abused it). I would imagine this is the issue. Did your doctor explain anything to expect? Maybe phone the office for peace of mind Hang in there You’re strong, lady @Mindofsobermike Post whenever you need Mike. That’s such a difficult situation for anyone involved. Tragic Take care, friend @Chevy55 Happy Anniversary!!! @Borderline_Billy Don’t beat yourself up. You’re sober! Great job
566
Today was pretty great. But first…yesterday On Sunday I contacted my exes roommate to see if we’d be able to stop over and grab more of my daughter’s clothes before school started. He said Monday would be fine and planned for the evening. Right before we were about to leave, he text “I was actually approved for an apartment and I’m moving today. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. Would you be able to take the cat?” Wtf?! I didn’t even know he was looking! I now realize we’re going to have to take everything! It’s already 5:30, it’s an hour drive there and back, and my car is small! Gotta fit it all in one trip. For 2 hours we collected what couldn’t get left behind. Then played tetris loading it in the car. The cat hid all the time before, and we didn’t end up finding her. I talked to the neighbor and she said she’d take care of her. I really couldn’t’ve taken her anyways, but sad my daughter couldn’t say goodbye
After all this, I decided to call the jail to see if he finally had a release date. January 18! Damn. In the first letter he sent me, he said “I think this is for the best bc I never saw an end to drug court” Who’s best?! They’re not gonna help him when he gets out this time. He won’t be released to rehab, a halfway house, or anything like that. He just lost everything and will be homeless. Again! Felt pretty angry with the whole situation last night.
Woke up this morning to a new day Started cleaning, and had my daughter help sort thru, and get rid of, old stuff before bringing in the ‘new’. Got everything ready for the first day of school tomorrow before I went to work. Easy shift, got out early. Finished up last minute stuff and now it’s time for bed bc we’re waking up an hour earlier than last year to catch the bus. One day at a time. That’s all I gotta do. Goodnight everyone
Thankful that my life is stable. There is no chaos or pain brought on by alcohol. It took a lot from me and caused me anguish through the years but I’m not in that space anymore. I don’t want to go back there.
I always think of the day zero or day 1 folks when I pop in here as I don’t want to forget that feeling. My best wishes to anyone not in a good place right now. Remember, it too shall pass.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 189.
Woke up last night from a huge Thunderstorm. Didn’t go to sleep until the Thunderstorm passed. I love thunderstorms.
This week is supposed to be the warmest week in September since the 1980s. I’m looking forward to it, since it’s also supposed to be the warmest week in two years.
Daughter still sleeps here, we’ve got meetings regarding her all week, and I don’t want her to get away and go back to her boyfriend, and not going to any meetings or actually put in the effort. I know she’s an adult, but the problem is that she can’t really see or think consequences at all. If she doesn’t want to do something or if it gets overwhelming she just takes off.
12 y/o is home with a cold. We had to pick him up early from school yesterday. His teacher called.
We didn’t have to go to the meeting in City Hall. We got our permission for the Trunk or Treat via phone yesterday. So today we’re printing our flyers and next week we’ll have meetings with the local store owners to see if anyone wants to sponsor the event, since there might be people who wants to participate but can’t afford it.
Last time we payed for those people out of our own money. This year we don’t have that opportunity.
Really looking forward to everything amazing this fall.
That’s rough Mike. I’m sorry for all involved. But glad you can share your emotions here with us. Hoping good times visit you soon and lighten your load.
There was a power outage in my area last night that lasted about 2.5 hrs. My eldest was spooked by it. Lit up some candles and all. We had flashlights, but all the batteries were dead. I need to stock up in the event of an emergency.
It was a very busy day at work today after the holiday. I was asked to work the split shift. Took the little man to the playground during my 4 hr break.
Bout to pass out. It’s my o-day tomorrow. Gonna drop off the kids at school and then go for a walk with the wifey.
I hope everyone’s doing well. Take care. Keep pushing!
277 days
Busy day at work. Was good, made the day fly by. Got someone to come relieve me early so i could make it through the traffic to the gym. Had a session myself and picked up the kids who were already there.
Another day shift tomorrow.
@ASP Nice job stacking the sober days @MrsOdh That Trunk or Treat thing sounds really nice. I’m looking forward to more tales about it. @SoberWalker It’s OK to be grumpy once in a while. Pervasive pain sucks. Get well soon @Dustysprungfield Good to hear you are in a good place after your struggles. We need both reminders from time to time: That all the bad stuff shall pass, but also what it means to be at day 0 again. @Just_Laura Wow, that sounds alike a lot. I mean: a lot! Your days usually are so busy and now this on top of your normal work load Hope you find a good way to cool down your system and stay balanced @Mno Enjoy your vacations with your friend and keep sending us pretty pictures please @DanaM56 I remember we once went go kart racing for some kind of party. I really enjoyed it a lot. But my back on the next day was so sore I feel you. @AZeke Sounds like you are working your tools, connecting here, getting the support you need. Good work
287 sugar
151 UPF
25 gluten
25 dairy
I’m very glad it cooled down significantly, instead we are having galons of rain. My daughter is still overtly sensitive to noise and can’t attend school, so I’m trying to come up with some stuff she can do by herself at home, which is quite a drain on my time. But that’s life.
Stuff to do today, couple’s counseling later in the afternoon, and a regular Recovery Dharma meeting I’m co-hosting this evening.
Let’s keep our hearts and minds open, loving life as it is
Yesterday was a good day body wise, felt integrated in myself despite the gym sessions really hurting. Luckily I’m not too sore today despite this, as I have yoga and Pilates class shortly. I’m throwing myself back into these classes for the mind and body element. My focusing on doing only hardcore cardio and strength training was effective for body conditioning, but I realise that I need the slowness of other disciplines as well. I was silly to stop my twice weekly body balance. The recent back ache just compounded that thought!
Sleep is still allusive despite being dog tired most days. I’m working on the rigid sleep routine again now. Strict lights out and wake up time. The only problem being that almost every day I lie awake for about an hour or two after lights out and then wake up at least two hours before my alarm. It will happen hopefully.
I’ve signed up for an intensive 6 week course starting next Monday to work on my inner self. It’s weekly group therapy sessions with similar people who come from alcoholic, dysfunctional, abusive and narcissistic upbringings. I’m excited to do the work. Scared to be seen, but also excited. I’ve decided to rename my nervousness as excitement as they almost feel the same.
It’s the simple things in my day to day life that show that I really need to do this work. Yesterday we got a food delivery and the driver delivering kind of immediately ran off when my partner accepted it at the door. All the bags were wet and clearly dripping, and it turned out a bottle of vitamin liquid and another bottle had smashed all inside. The bags started to drip sticky liquid all over the carpets and table and the cats started walking through it. Broken glass was all inside the bags and over the food. I was immediately trying to help out and take some stuff to wash bits down in the sink and to make sure no-one got cut.
It arrived literally just after lunch, there were still a few bits around from me cooking and so that wasn’t ideal, and my partner got snappy with me for being in the way and the mess. I was calm at first and continued trying to help, but then we got into this passive aggressive exchange of words and then she mirrored my previous sentence but in a really sarcastic way… Well I lost it. Before I knew it, I was being super aggressive and pointing and angry and saying "don’t you dare fucking talk to me that way"etc… and she was like ‘are you serious?’.
Sadly, in that moment, I was deadly serious and couldn’t get down from the ledge. Reactionary bullshit from years of being put down and shouted at and manipulated and cross talked . It was ok in the end after we both cooled off and talked about it and I explained why I have these horrible anger issues below the surface. But it is rough to know that about yourself. And to know I’m a hair’s width from explosion in some situations is really hard. Gahhh. I’m most the time very calm and even.
This is why I need to heal those parts. I don’t want to be this way. It is also why sober is the ONLY WAY for me. Drunk me had no chance.
Thank you all for checking my well being. I’m today for far more better place than yesterday and yes, the meds truly helped (I’m under professional care). So, on forward! You rock, guys!
🩷:pray: Thank you
blessed night y’all
Hang in there 
You’re strong, lady 
Take care, friend 
On Sunday I contacted my exes roommate to see if we’d be able to stop over and grab more of my daughter’s clothes before school started. He said Monday would be fine and planned for the evening. Right before we were about to leave, he text “I was actually approved for an apartment and I’m moving today. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. Would you be able to take the cat?” Wtf?! I didn’t even know he was looking! I now realize we’re going to have to take everything! It’s already 5:30, it’s an hour drive there and back, and my car is small! Gotta fit it all in one trip. For 2 hours we collected what couldn’t get left behind. Then played tetris loading it in the car. The cat hid all the time before, and we didn’t end up finding her. I talked to the neighbor and she said she’d take care of her. I really couldn’t’ve taken her anyways, but sad my daughter couldn’t say goodbye 
Started cleaning, and had my daughter help sort thru, and get rid of, old stuff before bringing in the ‘new’. Got everything ready for the first day of school tomorrow before I went to work. Easy shift, got out early. Finished up last minute stuff and now it’s time for bed bc we’re waking up an hour earlier than last year to catch the bus. One day at a time. That’s all I gotta do. Goodnight everyone 
Hope you find a good way to cool down your system and stay balanced 
I feel you.
. It was ok in the end after we both cooled off and talked about it and I explained why I have these horrible anger issues below the surface. But it is rough to know that about yourself. And to know I’m a hair’s width from explosion in some situations is really hard. Gahhh. I’m most the time very calm and even.