Just checking in. Sounds like the upstairs bathroom and soil stack is getting fixed today despite a hot mess of nonsense with the housing people. Now to fight for my own bathroom renovation after the waste issue is fixed so no more toilet run off flushes onto my ceiling . Itās as gross as it soundsā¦
Hot damn, Iām nearly a year into this fight. I swear these people just put the ācomputer says noā dudes on the front desk so you just give up. Fuck that, Iām ready and waiting for round 333 of sparring. I will get what I want, Iām manifesting it. Thank goodness I can shoulder this, drunk me would have imploded about six months ago!
Morning sober fam, im doing ok. Went for a good ride after work on the unicyle yesterday. Looking forward to monday off bc me and heather are going to watch the new beetlejuice. Much love
@Mr_Sobriety welcome congrats on double digits @tsqd welcome congrats on day 1 @Hesmyportion welcome back congrats on day 1 @NewBeginning1 welcome back congrats on getting through day 1
1487 days no alcohol.
952 days no cocaine.
467 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
I binged badly late last night, even some sugary items after 54 days of no sugar. I donāt know what came over me, it was totally mindless like I had no control.
Iāve spent all my money now, so today so far I donāt have the urge to go to the shop, for the first time in a couple of weeks. It feels good, freeing.
Today is Friday therapy. I have had 9 dreams since our session last week so Iāll talk about those and see what else comes up.
Friends in town still and I took today off to play tour guide. We will travel around Halifax, take the ferry from downtown Dartmouth to Halifax waterfront and grab dinner and walk around boardwalk.
Large storm incoming tonight through tomorrow but for today, this morning was absolutely picture perfect.
Day 2359. Up early and cleaning the house. Plan on making apple butter today. Then off to help get the grandsonās 1 year birthday celebration ready. I cannot believe it has been a year since the little guy came. Papa might have been a little excited. I got him a ride on tank (that actually shoots!) Best part about itā¦It comes with a remote control, so if he goes to far I dont have to chase himā¦I just drive it back to me.
Yesterday I was 3-1/2 years sober. On what could have been a happy day I had to say goodbye to my best boy. Our 5 year old Golden Retriever, Gunny, lost his battle with cancer. A better boy there never was. I will not drink and sully his memory. Actually, I am grateful that after this much time, drinking just isnāt something I even consider. I have 3 other pets and I will love and cherish them.
Checking in day 172.
Pretty bad anxiety this afternoon after my boss got a 1-star google review. Funny how things that really shouldnāt upset be, still really upset me.
I think I use anxiety as a bit of a rush of adrenaline, almost like Iām addicted to it I get it from anywhere I can, even something so meaningless as a google review that doesnāt relate to me.
Iām going to start recognising this more moving forward. When something effects me in a way that makes me what to run toward anxiety, Iām going to instead go to a different address. Ik going to come up with 5 places I could go, or people I could see, or activities I could do in lieu of feeling anxious, but still something that can give me that bit of adrenaline Iām obviously looking for.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Edit: uhh did I just turn anxiety into something I should actually feel really cringey for I hope so!
Congrats on 5 months without that processed crap Glad youāre feeling the benefits too. At my fittest, 10 years ago, my diet was impeccable. Zero sugar(besides minimal alcohol at that time), and only whole foods. I felt amazing! I think I eat healthier than most, but convenience has become the issue. It takes a long time to eat a salad At work, I often grab the most calorie dense, fastest thing I can eat standing up, or bring a liquid diet of protein shakes and smoothies. Or, I donāt eat at all, then tell myself later a 700 calorie piece of cheesecake is fine to fill the deficit Something Iād like to work on again. Thanks for the inspiration
155 days sober
I went into town this morning to do my bazar shopping and ran into some American tourists. I ended up talking to them for a long time then taking them on a bit of a tour of the area. It was very interesting for me to see their reaction to things. Iām also American (but have lived the past 13 years overseas) realized that what they found different/strange is just normal everyday things to me. Honestly I canāt even remember these things being strange or uncomfortable when I moved here. I never really experienced a culture shock and I think part of that had to do with my strange upbringing.
Itās weird for me seeing other Americans. I found the interaction with them bizarre and it felt foreign. Iāve not been to my home country in 13 years and almost never see other expats and I know that Iām not very American anymore but for me it really felt more of a culture shock when interacting with them. They also were wanting to drink and was surprised when I said I am sober. So far Iāve only had an easy going response when invited to drink and me saying no and this was the first time where I felt slightly uncomfortable or judged somehow. There wasnāt anything negative today just felt different. It makes me think how will I react if I ever do visit my home country again.
Us Americans can be a bit much sometimes, lol. Funny you mention this bc I actually find your day to day life fascinating. Whatās normal to you is so very different than anything Iām used to. It seems harder, yet easier, at the same time. I was going to mention this the other day but worried it might offend you
Ha no worries Iām hard to offend and I enjoy topics like this. I donāt notice how different my life style is until people who arenāt used to it come around. There are definitely more difficult parts of life here because of the culture like that you just pay a bribe to get out of trouble or teachers can beat kids without getting into trouble or bridekidnapping being a normal part of society. Lack of any good medical care is a hassle but life is also so so simple and easy going in many ways.
But Iām just used to the ways things are. Only sometimes mostly in the winter I wish I had running water in the house.
Hello there Rough night of insomnia. Finally slept 3-9a. Good enough! Day off today. Iāve been enough and done enough. Adrenaline, bye!
Itās strange how we get into ānever enoughā headspaces, or at least I do. No matter what gets accomplished, I only see the undone and find myself lacking. Not today. I have time to enjoy as well as work. I can become obsessed with work and it isnāt healthy. I lose my perspective. I feel myself winding up. Enough for now. Itās all coming together. My body is sore so I will cook and watch shows today. Read. Stretch.
Big cold front tomorrow. Little Fall preview. Iāll open up the house and enjoy. Itās coming!
60 days, checking in. I ranted some time ago about my toxic āfriendā who was and is a total a-hole against me. I told him I had to go the psychiatric ward where Iām still at and his response was something like āyouāre a weak snowflake.ā This was the last time I let him offend me, so now I have blocked his phone number and all the social media accounts. I donāt need that kind of creep in my life. He has insulted me a lot during these years and in the end when time passes he apologize. But Iām done with his apologies and as far as Iām concerned, Iām tired of being Mr.Nice guy. He can and should piss off.
Good Job! Your own peace is and should always be the most important thing. Youāre absolutely right that you doesnāt need that kind of friends. Friends is supposed to be supportive and and not offensive. I know it can be hard, I broke up with who I thought was my best friend for 20 years, for the same reason a few months ago. Havenāt spoked since and my life is so much more calf and positive now.
Iām so proud of you for finally taking that step.
Checking in with 152 days sober.
Iāll stay sober today too.
Tomorrow will be 5 months sober. Honestly Iām surprised Iāve made it this far. Those first 50 days were SO incredibly hard. Iām happy to have found this place. I make sure to read on the relapse thread daily to remind myself Iām not healed, even though I feel so much better and in control.
One day at a time.
Thanks alot! Indeed, it aināt easy, but our own wellbeing is the most important thing. Iām really glad you also got rid of your so-called friend. Well done, my friend!
Sorry for the bad night of sleep but hope you have a good day off relaxing and taking care of yourself then hopefully a good sleep later. We all need those type of days.
. Itās as gross as it soundsā¦
Thank goodness I can shoulder this, drunk me would have imploded about six months ago!
congrats on double digits 
Glad youāre feeling the benefits too. At my fittest, 10 years ago, my diet was impeccable. Zero sugar(besides minimal alcohol at that time), and only whole foods. I felt amazing! I think I eat healthier than most, but convenience has become the issue. It takes a long time to eat a salad 
At work, I often grab the most calorie dense, fastest thing I can eat standing up, or bring a liquid diet of protein shakes and smoothies. Or, I donāt eat at all, then tell myself later a 700 calorie piece of cheesecake is fine to fill the deficit 
Something Iād like to work on again. Thanks for the inspiration 
Rough night of insomnia. Finally slept 3-9a. Good enough! Day off today. Iāve been enough and done enough. Adrenaline, bye!