Happy birthday sober brother, sounds awesome
Thank you so much! Sober bday is so much better than a Drunk bday, itās a memory Iāll actually retain!
@tragicfarinelli OOH Iām glad they are starting to see some things getting fixed. I do hope your bathroom renovation is next and goes quickly / smoothly. Rounding up on 1 year ā girl ā after I hit 6 months I very much started planning for my 1 year celebration. Every craving that occurred was shut down cause I knew I wanted that 1 year mark! You got that motivation ā keep going my friend
@mbwoman OH that is awesome friend 3.5 years sober! I am sorry that this feel on such sad times. Grateful that you managed to stay sober and I do hope you enjoyed your day today
@tyland Oh Iām sorry to hear that you got hurt. Hope you are healing now. DO keep pushing through my friend. The emotional and physical hurt do get easier. ODAAT!
@mrmoustache OH thank goodness you sent that friend packing. That is NO friend. A friend does not make you feel less than or insult you ā they should support you ā love you and cheer you on. You are much better off without this person in your life!
@selflove_42 How are you doing? Any improvement in your mental mindset?
@jesile OH yeah some alcoholic drinks have started to nauseate me and that I find to be very interesting ā so grateful for it tho LOL. Relieved to hear that your friends news came back as not cancer! Yeah!
@hesmyportion Way to go friend ā day 2 and your 1st meeting ā wishing you well and sending strength
@holysquid WTF!!! 5th time? Oh Iām so very sorry friend ā that totally sucks! I do hope the symptoms are not too bad and hopefully you will be testing negative very soon. Sending healing and comforting vibes your way.
@bomdhil way to go friend 14 days is almost here ā you are doing great and I am happy to see you posting that even through the hard times you are seeing growth and strength. That is the remarkable part of this journey. Keep pushing forward Thomas
@HakeemOsman Oh Happy Birthday my friend-- love seeing you celebrating a sober birthday. Looks like a wonderful time and what beautiful pictures.
Checking in on Friday night
625 days free of alcohol and weed
1040 days free of cigarettes
Been a busy day but a productive one. Grateful I did get my day started with some activity as I had a lot of sit down computer work to do today. Feeling physically and mentally exhausted and a headache forming - grateful that I will be in bed soon.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Jazzy you are such a breath of fresh air and Iām grateful for your continued support! Thank you for the birthday wishes! I hope that headache subsides soon and you get some restful sleep this evening!
Awe thank you friend! Appreciate your sweet words.
Doing a neck massage to help relieve some tensionā¦ now ready for some ā¦ good night
Thank you jazzyS
Checking in with day 192. Fridays always makes me feel like I enlisted in the military. Hubbyās mottos WORK WORK WORK. I just got caught up with all the postings here. I love you guys. Wish I could cast a spell to make you all well comfortable and happy. I will continue to annoy you with kooky sayings and stupid images. If anything I may get you to smile for the moment. I embrace this as my service at this time. . Looking forward to a new day and loving to stay in the moment. I am worth the work and I find myself to be a pretty great sober person.
146
Broke up with the person I fell in love with, and canceled my flight back to peru to spend time with him. I made this decision yesterday because there are some red flags that I know I donāt need in my life. I also asked reddit about something he said and I recieved over 100 comments from people telling me to run, the red flags are too obvious, and some people even saying it sounds like it could be a potential trafficking situation. That influenced my decision a lot, but I still made sure I made the decision for other reasons too, as I noticed he started to seem narcissistic and other things that are not worth gambling with.
We both frll in love with each other but never even got to say it. Iām sure we were both waiting to say it in person. One of the things that really sucks, is Iāve never in my life met someone who has psychic abilities like he does. I wasnāt even sure I believed in that kind of shit, but I SAW it firsthand with him. Itās like he knew me fully without me even having to say a word about myself. Knew things about me right off the bat, that no one would have any way of knowing. Knew how old my dad was. Knew my relationship with my parents. One night, i was starting to get extremely anxious about if heās right for me or not, but my mannerisms didnt change at all when I was texting him, I showed no signs of anxiety, but he texted me saying āwhatās on your mind? Somethings worrying you, I can feel it.ā And another night when we were on the phone, he was explaining reiki to me and how he can feel which of my chakras are blocked and need healing, and he casually mentioned how in that moment I had a lot of pressure in my head, but pointed to the EXACT pinpoint spot right between my eyebrows that the tension was centered the most. I never told him I had a headache, my eyebrows werenāt tense either so itās not like it was a wildly lucky guess. He knew. He could feel it. I was blown away.
But it sucks even more because of all of that. If things had worked out, how special that relationship would have been. Now my interactions with every single other person in my life, comparatively feel so disconnected. Detatched. I donāt feel known by anyone like I felt known by him. He could feel my energy. No one else in my life has that ability, and now that Iāve experienced it with someone romantically, nothing will ever feel the same. I canāt put into words how amazing it felt falling in love with someone like that.
Iāve written down a list of reasons why I know I made the right decision. The narcissistic comments, etc. Screenshots of peopleās input. A whole little database for me to look at to keep my head screwed on straight. But my emotions are KILLING me. I canāt stop crying on and off. It hurts. I miss him. I hate not knowing what could have happened.
And this is why I havenāt pursued anyone for the past 3 years after my fiance died. Iāve spent 3 years alone, focusing on myself, telling myself Iām not going to try to date anyone unless i really feel like they could be the one. This was him. I gave him that chance. It felt so good, after all of that pain and grief and being alone for 3 years. I finally had hope again. And now Iām heartbroken, but the worst part is I was the one who had to make that decision, which Iāve never made before. So now on top of the grief, the heartbreak, I also feel guilt, and self-doubt, and confusion, having an immensely hard time knowing or remembering if Iāve made the right decision because my feelings for him are clouding things so much.
I keep going back and forth in my head and I basically want to rip my brain out, throw it in the ocean and set it on fire. (Lmao).
A nice little cherry on top of mental torture is the fact that I showed him my favorite song at the moment (Hollow - Redrum, highly recommend for some peaceful vibes!) and he came to love that song so much that it became our song. I cant listen to it without completely thinking about him the entire time. And it keeps getting stuck in my head (currently on a streak of several fucking hours) which is a nice little touch of the thiught of him, and the pain, not getting the fuck out of my head.
I know I need to distract myself to get through this but I have no motivation to do anything.
Iām so close to having ājust oneā drink right now.
I hate this so much. I feel so much agony and mental torment. I donāt want to work, I donāt want to do anything, I just want to shrivel up and bawl my eyes out for an unforseen amount of time.
Any words of encouragement that I did the right thing are appreciated. Helps keep my emotions in check. I almost caved and texted him earlier but I was able to remind myself of all of the reasons not to.
Day 447 AF
So thankful the week is over. Iām exhausted. Have a sober evening everyone
Day 1056 AF
Sup, gang.
Dreamt about an old friend. We were close friends back in middle school. We got distant in high school after she started dating someone. She was chill. I always saw her as family. In the dream, she wanted to meet up at a bar to catch up. Once we got there, she walked away to use the restroom. I said to myself, āWhat the heck am I doing here, I donāt drink.ā So I decided to bail on her and drove off.
Anyway, it was another hot day here in Southern California. Got me blasting the AC all day. Took the kids to an afterschool event. Went to the grocery store. And weāre just hanging out at the apartment right now. Gonna got for a walk in a bit.
Still doing the sober things. Have a great day everyone! Keep pushing!
Stay strong. ODAAT
@HakeemOsman Happy birthday! Sober ones are always the best
@wahtisnormal Iām sorry your relationship didnāt work out From what Iāve learned from my past relationships(over and over), is always trust your gut. Donāt ignore red flags in favor of what appears good. Last time I did that, it led me into the worst relationship Iāve ever been in. Something told you this was the right thing to do. That makes me believe you did the right thing. Take care, my single sister One day the right one will come along
@GOKU2019 Thatās kinda funny about your dream. I read about so many using dreams on here but they never happen to me. Iāve had several dreams where Iām around drinking, but I always know that Iām sober. I remember one I had 6 years ago while I was on probation. I hadnāt drank for months bc I had an ankle monitor, but I got hammered in the dream. It really felt like I was drunk, and I was freaking out bc I thought I screwed up. I was relieved to wake up, but also enjoyed the fact I was able to feel that way, even if it wasnāt real. Pretty pathetic to think about now
569
Today was not as great as yesterday I didnāt sleep well and woke up exhausted to a dark and gloomy morning. The sun never showed and it rained all day. Itās still raining now! It sucked all my energy and motivation and I slept most of the day. Still wasnāt feeling 100% so the extra rest felt needed. I also started my cycle, which Iām sure played a role. Work went okay. Pretty typical Friday night. Now just chilling before bed, which is soon Hope you all have a good weekend
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that and definitely need to hear it
Iām glad you got extra rest today, definitely sounds like it was needed. I hope you have a relaxing rest of your night
Your welcome Iāve been single for 3 years myself now, and even sober, I donāt know if I can trust my own judgment in that department yet. I only hope to have your strength if Iām ever faced with such a decision. Stay strong today You can get thru this sober
Thank you @JazzyS for your support. Yeah, Iām feeling much better without that person in my life.
*Day 2180
triggerwarning death
Live can be difficult sometimes.
My youngest son has a girlfriend. Her brother commited suicide yesterday. He drove his car against a tree. He was 19. Itās so sad.
My daughter in law is in Korea right now for study and is coming back urgenly tomorrow. Good to see my son is helping her where he can.
It makes me so sad. For that boy, for his parents and for his brother and sister and all others he left behind in grief with so much questions.
He was on his way to school. His schoolbooks in the back of the carā¦
He had mental problems, but seems better.
Itās my worst nightmare: loosing a child.
My grandparents lost their firstborn at very young age because of an accident. Their life was never the same. As a grandchild I felt that and later on as a mom myself I felt that even more ofcourse.
So today Iām lost a bit. Itās not my child, but I feel so sad.
Checking in end of Day 2, Work went okay but head was a a bit cloudy. Not feeling 100 percent yet but hey? I survived through the day i guess.
221 days AF checking in
Pool today!
Freaking outā¦
Didnāt have a swim while week cause of long working hours, heatwave and crowded pools just fuck up. (sry)
Will smash the lane
Then eat.
Then siesta.
Repeat tomorrow
Love you guys
1918
Had a nice day yesterday, going to the dairy farm together with my friend. Will do some stuff in town today, as well as take Luna to the vet for her monthly solensia shot. And get Korean takeaway later. Itās still warm but any day now colder wetter weather will appear. Well. Canāt have it all. Weāll have fun with colder weather too. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love form Utrecht where I saw my therapist as well yesterday.
@Mbwoman So sorry losing Gunny. Theyāre such close friends. Glad youāre not tempted to drink over it
@Vanessa8 Congrats on 5 months!
@HolySquid Thatās terrible bad luck friend! Healing thoughts and vibes your way!
@HakeemOsman Happy belated birthday to you!
@NewBeginning1 Congrats on day 2 Matt. ODAAT for all of us.
@Thirdmonkey You sure you trust a toddler in a shooting tank Scott?
@wahtisnormal Iām sorry it didnāt work out friend. However, youāre never sure something like this wonāt happen again. And actually I see the fact that YOU choose to end this as something very positive. Your choice. You took the power int your own hands. You took control of your life. However painful it is and was, you took the right decision. Power to you! And drinking would just be a reversal to old patterns, to bad coping mechanisms. You are doing this thing called lifed. Iām sorry youāre hurting, buit Iām proud of you. Hugs.
@SoberWalker Suicide is such a terrible thing to deal with. So sorry Claudia. Strength to all involved. Big hugs friend.
Maybeā¦lol, thats why it is going to stay at his house. Grandma Monkey found an āexactā copy of her truck for himā¦it doesnt shoot, it will stay here.
Hey all, checking in on day 1546. I hope everybody has a good one!