So sorry to hear about all that stress, @Rookie
I hope your husband gets on board with what you’re saying.
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What an artist he was. I love these drawings. Beautiful.
It’s so sad .
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that’s amazingMid-day Monday check in.
Yesterday was a beast. I was busy and ‘on’ without a break from 06:30 to 10PM.
I had some great heart to heart chats with some buddies at the Halloween party my wife and I hosted. It’s comforting getting in-person reminders and support that I’m not alone with the work/parenting/housework demands.
Sometimes is tough when we recognize most of our own hobbies and restorative endeavours are sidelined at this stage of life.
A challenge I have these days is that most of my longest and oldest friendships I have - the buddies are all going through personal crises at the moment. My Dad is sick, and my parents live a 4 hour flight away, so I only see them every few months at the moment. My wife and I are strained at times, are angry at each other then make up most days.
I don’t really have a “safe space” or reliable place of emotional comfort at the moment. I meditate most days for a few minutes, but I quickly go back to carrying stress around. It’s all on me to get through days, more than it has been at previous stages of life. I have tried a life coach, and yeah,
cliche and trite advice that comes out of those people is not helpful for me. I need a nanny, or a good amount of break time in my day, and if I can’t get those things, I need to stop needing them, cut even more sleep out for personal time, and adjust to my reality a bit more.
One thing we can all agree on and is said by people on here every day: heading to the fridge for some tasty fun to medicate is NOT any positive inclusion in any day of my life right now.
Peace. Thanks for being on this thread.
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Day 6 clean. ODAAT. Trying to stay positive. Almost had a slip up and thought about using again. That has passed for now
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day 8. well, my anxiety is gettin’ WEIRD, but riding the waves. Very jittery. I’m working on a report, and I’m focused, but I don’t feel calm inside. Not sleeping well, waking up often, but in all telling myself that everything is normal and I need to be patient. onwards.
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Thank you… I actually feel amazing. I will be celebrating 9 months in Hawaii. I know one day at a time…but see a very promising future.
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Day 10 Smokefree
6m and 30 days AF
Well here we are. It’s been ten days since I’ve stopped smoking and this begins the actual longest non-smoking stretch of my life since I started at age 15.
Hard to say how I feel today honestly. Been a few weeks since I craved a drink or wanted to buy some smokes. Right now I do both but let’s not get ahead of ourselfes.
Since winter and an identity crisis go hand in hand I thought I’ll share one with you. 
I seem to be drifting away from my peers and mostly prefer solitude at the moment.
Trying to really know what I’m about. I have some idea of who I want to represent but that’s different from actually being that person.
That’s not a new or creative way of saying I’m unsure of myself. Most people I’ve met seem to think that we are set in stone.
We are not however. Change is possible in whatever direction that may be. The mind does not shatter. It melts and gets reformed but what has happened to a person can leave it’s mark upon it.
Other than that I started to really ask myself this more often than not:
“Do you really care about X?
Or is that just some old reflex trained by years of looking for solid ground?”
Can be applied to people, hobbies, feelings…just take your pic at the moment. 
Winter is going to be a tough nut to crack but it’s not like I didn’t make a plan beforehand. 
Guess my head just needs some time to adjust.
Which I know but when being used to instant gratification, it’s okay to moan about it a bit. 
That’s all for now I think.
Take care and I’ll keep in touch.
Mostly a reader nowadays but who knows. 
Maybe you’ll see some snakes soon in a thread near you^^
Take care everyone and stay warm. 
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272 days sober from alcohol
Just checking in 
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I remember it pretty well, I am glad I was able to help.
Sometimes all we need is just a small hitch in the giddy up to get back on the path we want to be on
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Checking in on day 4… I’m back…
Well after a wonderful sober stint all summer I decided to have a few drinks and 6 weeks later here we are.
All the same tools are back out of the box.
What’s different this time? I finally started telling people other than my close family and best friend that I no longer drink, and why. Is it acceptance at last? I hope so.
Will be checking in here that’s for sure 
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Day 23.
Moving into the life is boring without drinking stage. Yay. Been here before though. Lots of thoughts of wish I could just have one or two but not in a temptation way more in a I know I can’t and that’s crap way. Feeling pretty blah today.
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It’s a core memory for me, and it worked again. Man, I was sweating on that bench, nauseous, and generally messed up. You saved me bro!
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Day 0.Total Failure but I attended to a zoom meeting and I participate.
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I think you need a hug… Life is a lot sober or not… may you find a peaceful middle ground to rest.
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Can you learn from this failure? What needs to change to jump the hurdle of another slip?
I am rooting for you.
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Day 6.77 years, checking in sporadically.
Today I reached out to my Mom, and I check ST for the first time in over a month. I am taking my daughter to the doctor because she has a weird pain lol, you no longer gotta be dying for me to take you to get care. I will do a 3 mile run tonight, runs have become enjoyable.
Keep you hands in your pockets and eyes on the ground in front of you if you have too, keep moving towards your dream.
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Keep on keeping on!!
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Hey you sweet man 
happy to see you never giving up.
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Day 988
Today honestly wasnt a great day 
Was up early for my sons appt which went well. But then coming home, i just was soo tired. I couldnt get motivated to do barely anything. I missed a call that was important (related to the financial situation Im in). Tried to call back with no answer. Left a message. Now have to wait until she calls, hopefully tmrw. Im anxious alllll over again. Worried. Tired. Im just a mess today. I did pray and connect to God. That always help me. But i just want this situation to be over with. I feel like i need sleep… just alot of sleep.
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