Checking in day 3. Feel a little better than yesterday, but also have this overwhelming feeling that I don’t deserve to feel ok. My relapses, particularly the last one have been so bad, I don’t feel like I deserve it. I’ve caused so much destruction and upset people I deserve to feel very very bad. Which I still do to a large extent but not as bad as the previous two days. I know the only good thing I can do now is to stay sober & make sure nothing like this ever happens again & that is what I will do, I feel 100% sure of this, but even that isn’t going to make up for the damage that has been done. I’m going to try so hard to just be the best version of myself I can be. Even without the alcohol I was slipping down a very negative slope & just not being the person I want to be. Anyway, long ramble but that’s where I am today. Wishing everyone a peaceful day 
Day 5
No Alcohol and Drugs.
The day went well. I visited my bank to update some account details, and afterward, I had a very nice lunch at a restaurant. In the evening, I arrived in my hometown and accidentally met a friend. He mentioned that he didn’t have a car and asked if I could accompany him to a place. I agreed, and we went together. Later, he said he wanted to buy some beers for himself, but I told him that I had quit drinking and didn’t want any. Fortunately, he didn’t pressure me to drink.
Looking back, I realize that if I had made up an excuse or given a reason at that moment, none of this would have happened. Next time, I will firmly say no because I’ve realized that he only contacts me when he needs something, and otherwise, he doesn’t reach out.
When I got home, I became upset with my mom because I had asked her to prepare my favorite dinner, but she hadn’t made it. She didn’t make chapati, and when I asked her about it, she said she was very tired and would make it in the morning. I don’t know why I got so angry at that moment, but I didn’t say anything to her. I just left the dining room and sat in front of my computer to write it all down in TS.
187 days sober
Was a long day of travel but we made it in well. This is the first trip this way that I didn’t have car trouble so yay! Am hoping the way back is the same. We’re staying with a friend of mine which is nice. Am hoping for a good visit with her and get the privacy I feel like I need. I have a busy schedule tomorrow with meetings and the such. Hoping for good rest tonight.
Hope everyone is having a good sober day!
Day 1088 AF
Good morning, gang.
Dropped off the kids at school and about to start my shift. It’s back to the grind.
Have a great sober day!
ODAAT 
Take care.
You are showing such impressive self awareness @Pamela! Proud of you and wishing you some rest
Day 968
Morning TS! Morning has been pretty good! I just finished my workout recently and got myself a Booster Juice protein smoothie afterwards. Made sure to do my morning prayer and readings. All is well. Today is a clean up the apartment day since i have no errands to run. Ya thats about it. Im thinking of maybe a nice bath in the afternoon or a walk in the park… or both! Who knows lol Have a great day everyone!
Day 2 afternoon hello.
Nice to be back healed after my Sunday night mistake, and have another day sober on this thread with you.
I crushed this morning. Got lots of work done, had a solid workout, and some morning time with my daughter before the daycare drop off.
Powering back up and levelling back up!
Have a great one!
Checking in 
Today work has been ok. Still trying to avoid BS drama! A customer gave me a bottle of Rioja red wine as a gift today… 
I left it at the office, it’ll go into our X-mas raffle.
My “gym” project is moving forward! This afternoon a lady came to pick up my guest bed! The plan is to set up a small home gym! 
Taking into account that I had the idea/thought yesterday, things have progressed fast!
Feeling motivated!
Day 472.
Feeling a bit mixed. Flat outside of work…enjoying work.!
Some home stuff is bothering me, as well as sex, and relationships . Brain not in the best place i guess
Day 224
Knees better today. I am headed to pool. If I only float there I think that would be good.
Take care of you my sober people!
Glad for this safe haven as I put things back together.
I made it to two weeks! So thankful for this community of people and reading all of your stories. I love seeing the daily check ins and how you guys are growing and making the most of hurdles in your lives. Thank you all for coming back and continuing to share. It helps newcomers like me!!
AMAZING JOB! Congrats on your 2 weeks 
Glad you are here with us stacking up the days ODAAT! 
Checking in Day 479 AF
Feeling better and grounded in my body. Thankful for my sobriety and thus community.
158 days check in 
2:30am here.
I have had almost 2 hours sleep.
Have to be up at 5 ready for hospital transportation to physio. My appointments at 9am. They said be ready for 7am.
Wish I could sleep until alarm time set for 5 am. But since the operation my sleep has been pretty all over the place. More tired than usual as my body heals. Sleeping randomly which then messes my night time routine I thought I had fixed 
I’m just going to take today as it comes, my goal for today is to be adaptable - run on no sleep if that’s what ends up happening and not get overwhelmed, anxious of stressed about it.
Everything is organised in my life so not too much stress there just the sleep had a knock on effects on my mental health. Understanding the Drs words that I had a major surgery my body needs to heal, I need to slow down and just sleep when my body needs it and rest with my leg elevated … it’s been 3 weeks 
I need some structure back.
Apart from the sleep everything is actually going really well. The hospital have arranged transport there and back all I have to is be ready. Sleep if I need. Eat when I need 
sounds ok when I put it like that.
Can’t wait to actually see the physio.
Just worried il be moody inside with no sleep and anxious but I’m done with let things like this throw me off anymore. I’m sure, at my age 
, I can manage being up for another 24hrs with no sleep 
… I think ha ha.
Congratulations on your 600 days 
Congratulations on 2 weeks 
601
Thanks everyone I do like numbers, but for me, 6 is just meh 
So, no callback from the adjuster. But they did just send a survey about their service…hmm. Whatever. I’m sure they’ll call when they realize I haven’t paid the bill I shouldn’t owe.
Today was pretty chill. Literally. First time I’ve felt cold. I cleaned alot yesterday, so since it was crappy out, I dyed my hair and watched a couple horror movies 
I do love the holidays 
Maybe I’ll soak my feet before bed. Have a good one 
Second check in of the day. Just tucking into bed. Big day… I was productive all day until I hit a wall late in the evening raking the lawn.
Thinking about my reset the other day… I think my strategy for a little while will be to visit this thread or my story thread when a drinking opportunity arises or I’m going somewhere where alcohol will be offered. Even constantly knowing how bad alcohol is for me, I think I still need fresh, in my face reminders to remind myself the fun buzz time isn’t worth it, and my next day is guaranteed to be ruined.
Thank you for being here. I hope you take care of yourself for the rest of your day and night.
1950
Experience work can be a balancing act. To be vulnerable but not overly, to share my own story but give all the space to the other at the same time, to be fully involved and invested but at he same time to give myself some healthy space so it won’t take me down. It’s intense. But at the same time I can only do so much. When it’s good it’s really good. Like yesterday. And I’m going to try and repeat that today. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love. The pic is one of my favourite spots in Amsterdam.
@PositiveThoughts I’ve been coming here and posting for 1950 consecutive days now (ok there’s a one day hiatus when the site was down). That’s too much for most I know but I am sure there’s a correlation with my 1950 consecutive days of sobriety. I do notice in myself that many of the bad memories fade over time. I need to keep my sobriety fresh and this is one way I do. I’m glad you’re here. ODAAT friend.
@Twizzlers Good morning and success today friend 