Awesome job Tailee. It can be so hard to reach out at times.
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Day 2 - had a huge vent with my therapist this afternoon, explored my relapse and just really left it all out on the field if you will.
Was working in the office today, had some hard moments, but got through it and will do the same tomorrow.
One day at a time, much love and peace to you all!
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Happy mf bday!!! 
not sure if I did earlier but nothing wrong with twice. The big 4-0ā¦ congrats!!! Iām glad to hear cheesecake was in todayās equation. Iāve legit had cheesecake as my bday cake the past 9 years and never looking back
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Cheesecake ftw!
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You d@mned rightā¼ļø
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Happy birthday, Dana. You are such an inspiration to me. I hope you have the best day today. 
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Hey fam 
Iāve had a rough past couple of weeks mentally, feeling depressed and really struggling to stay mindful. I keep wanting to give up only to realize that I donāt. Lifelong wiring isnāt easily rewiredā¦ I tend to forget the huge journey that got me here, negative and positive. Itās so fucking hard to challenge and change myself, always staying conscious and strongā¦ I feel like Iām losing my drive, and donāt know what to do. I know I care deep down and wonāt accept mindless slavery, otherwise I wouldnāt be here. I know that my addictions and bad habits need replacing with better alternatives, NOT just quitting. Iām going to take today easy and focus on mindfulness and a plan of action for the immediate futureā¦
Just needed to vent and think a little. Todayās promise to myself: I promise to try to give my best to be my best.
What little thing can I do right now to learn, grow, progress and improve in a healthier directionā¦?
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I am sorry that you have been struggling for a while now, hoping that writing things down at least made them a little bit lighter?
Your drive to do what, exactly? If the answer is āto be soberā, you just need to not drink, ODAAT. If the answer is something else, you may want to look at prioritizing your efforts to avoid things becoming overwhelming. Thereās no need to open up all fronts at once, slowly ticking off each item as and when also gets you where you want to be.
I donāt think any of us can tell you what youāre supposed to do, your journey is unique to you. Having said that, I do know for myself that, first and foremost, I needed to stop sending myself to an early grave. Now that immediate danger seems to have been averted, I can work on other things such as my past, traumas etc. More difficult and harder work, but there is less immediate danger of these killing me if I fail at them for now.
Cut yourself some slack if you can, @1in8billion, this time of the year is difficult enough as is. Weāre all continuing to root for you!
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My answer: Peopleās bests look different at different times.
Recovery is an interesting balance of being tough enough on ourselves yet not too overly tough and not too little tough.
As long as you care to remain sober, and put in an effort then youāre doing work to maintain sobriety.
Simply getting the crap rolling around in our heads out here into a community of supporters and people who understand is huge, and quite often a very good beginning to feeling relief from the ick thoughts and feelings our diseases use to try to rope us back in.
Keep up the good fight!
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Day 66
Had one of the best work days to date at the new job ( been there 6 months now). The crew was on point with production today and only had a few stops throughout the 12 hour shift for preventative maintenance and rapirs basically All and all it was a good day. Just getting some laundry done then its about time to shower, get a meal in and sleepā¦ then do it all over again [thinks of scene from GroundHogs Day]
ODAAT
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Hello community. I made it through the Holiday week last week still sober. It wasnāt always easy, but I maintained. There are so many temptations, stressors, and feelings of lack around this time of year it feels like a more difficult journey at these times. But, Iām so very grateful to have this app and all of you to reach out to. Itās such a massive help just knowing Iām not alone.
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Happy Birthday!! 
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Thank you for the congrats message on me completing 60 days tomorrow will be 90 ! I appreciate your support!
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Checking in, day 16 AF, weed free 17. My sleep sucks at the moment. I can only sleep couple of hours at a time and then I wake up and Iām sweating. I guess my body and mind are still detoxing. Now itās 6:24 am, I just ate my breakfast and now Iām drinking delicious coffee with barista oatmilk, so tasty!
Have a great day/evening everyone, weāre sober and thatās so frigginā awesome! Yay!
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Day 8 
Itās time for the champ to check in 
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296
Recieved a message from the hospital for my neurologist appointment today and itās booked in for January 14
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657
One of those āaesthetic for reasons unknownā numbers for me 
Anger is rare for me, but tonightās shift had me there and I just need to vent 
Only 2 of us(+ a bartender) worked this 40 person party, 1 was called off. Prep and working the party was easy, boring even, the cleanup is what got me. We did as much as we could until we couldnāt do anything until after everyone left. They stayed an hour later than they should have(food was gone, bar was closed), considering this is a day we arenāt even open. When they finally did leave, I donāt think Iāve ever worked so fast to get so much done, but it was neverending! Then we find out the dishwashers bounced, so we had to clean up the kitchen too, bc we couldnāt just leave food all over the place. Thatās how you get rats people! ANNOYING!!! By 10:45, I was so over it, knowing I go back in <12 hours! We got it looking presentable enough and I said Iād tweak it tomorrow, which Iāll surely regret come morning 
Only plus was, we got to take home amazing food. Crab legs, oysters, clams! Mmm 
Luckily, my mood improved quickly by blasting my music on the drive home 
Grateful, bc I really donāt enjoy feeling angry.
Excited for tomorrow! Mr. DIRECTV emailed me the tickets and I checked the seats bc Iāve never been to Keybank Center. Fucking $150, 12th row from the stage seats! Bro 
And heās all like āI always get extras. I gave the golf pro a pair too. My wife and I havenāt missed a show in 17 years!ā Lmfao! But cool to know someone else going, assuming their seats are in the same section. Iāll ask him at work tomorrow. Gonna be a long day. Hope to get out of work on time to decompress a bit so I wonāt be rushing around before making the 45+ minute drive to the south side of Buffalo by 7pm. I really hope the weather cooperates Anyway, I wanted to be in bed by now, but have too much energy after that crap shift. Hoping I get there soon. Have a great 24!
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What did you listen to?
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āFuck Thatā by ATLiens was the first song on shuffle. Itās synth house music. Mechanical sounding and alot of bass. I like a variety of music, but EDMās my go to for some reason 
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