I don’t understand this, at all. I’ve heard many say it to some degree and it aggravates me as it does not make you stronger at all. As a matter of fact next time you may not come back from it.
The only thing a relapse shows me is that the plan is flawed or the work you’re doing is half hearted. It’s an excuse to accept something that wasn’t done well.
Now I’m not saying you per se aren’t trying, but by saying something that sounds as though you accept that shortfall and it’s just making you stronger for it… it’s not. It’s eroding your focus to stay true to your sobriety and giving you an excuse, imho.
Again apologies if this comes across as harsh but come back after a relapse and keep trying, yes, by all means. But don’t be so lackadaisical about it.
@Mindofsobermike I know you go by Mike, but UniMichael or Mikecycle? Idk. Tough decision
@Laner Sleep issues suck. Mine is falling asleep, but once I’m out, I’m out. I try relaxing techniques, but it seems to overwork my brain too much, so I try to think of nothing. Just quiet darkness. If it wanders, I bring it right back. Like meditating. I keep my room cool and pitch black. Magnesium at night has helped me. Or a small snack like yogurt or banana, which supposedly helps you stay asleep. Try more daytime exercise, but never within 4 hours before bed. I also feel that getting out of bed and doing something at that hour may cause your body to expect it’s supposed to happen. Maybe try not moving at all Or if you know you’ve got nothing going on the next day, just stay up and push thru. If all else fails, your body will sleep when it absolutely needs it
I know lol. My mom calls me unimike now. Was thinking that. Alot of my friends all nicknamed me lambo bc my last name is lamica. So i was thinking lambo. Kinda like rambo
Woohoo, 5th day of staying sober!
Had a really difficult day today, home alone and not much to do so the temptation was huge.
Had the urge to online gamble but went to this community instead. Read on the forum and went for a walk with my dog. When I got home I searched for distraction and watched netflix.
Then I made the tastiest lasagna ever en then my family got home. So the temptation is a lot less with the distraction at home.
So proud that I didn’t listen to the little addictvoice in my head. Ready for day 6
(Sorry for the bad English, I’m Dutch and typing in another language is sometimes hard for me)
That fear is what keeps me sober this time around. When I relapsed at 5 months, it took me 3 years to make it back here. I don’t even count the many fails I had during that time as relapses bc I never even came close to my initial sobriety streak. I’m positive it’d be my death sentence to take a drink today. No drink is worth that
@SadMemeQueen hope your ok today Meghan and have got some sleep @Butterflymoonwoman hope your worries about your finances are easing and you’ve found a way to at least balance them . I have to be grateful everyday we have free health care here in England I’m sorry your not so fortunate over there
Dunno… to me that’s kinda like the ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ saying. It doesn’t. Not really. My trauma didn’t make me stronger. Neither did my many relapses. It just… delayed my life and progress. Sure, survival builds resilience. But not needing to survive something in the first place is the objectively better option.
I don’t know if I can survive another relapse or I could rebuild my life again from scratch. And I really don’t want to find out.
Love my new patrol gig! It’s really pretty zen, then I have to remember I’m working and need to be ready to assist. I was late returning the car yesterday because I lost track of time. Just the way to return to regular life. I’m on this afternoon, and will make a point to introduce myself at the different fitness centers, community gardens, just get out and be nice and extroverted! I can stay home with my fuzzy socks and bathrobe tonight. Might try to go to sleep at 8. So so sick of the election and angry people. Enough! I’m veritably nauseous
Drinking vaguely crossed my mind as I passed a huge milestone of returning to some type of work. I will start a new resume soon and be ready to apply for a part time paid position. Or maybe full time if it’s the right one. Excited. Happy. So it, that destructive voice, sneaks in to see if I want to ‘celebrate’ something that came along only because I am sober! Crap it’s bizarre. The voice will tell you everything is good now and you can recapture your 20s! Yes it will be just like that— with a middle aged body and half a lifetime of experience and many years of suffering the effects/damage of downing thousands of drinks! Nope. It sucked and sober life is beginning. That is the reason for the happy feelings! Sober people need me. Yes they do
Worked onsite, more people in office today. Finding myself already annoyed at 7.20, asking myself what is the sence of smalltalk. Especially nonsense smalltalk. About sweets, Christmas, what you have done on your birthday or tatoos.
I can’t help myself… I am just not into it!
Even if I try It’s not that i am missing communication skills in general. At the end I am just so uninterested
Weird INTJ personality me.
Thanks for the headphones tip of a wise friend from here
Anyway had some productive and professional conversations during day that I will benefit from getting more into details of my job.
Had a little passive agressive situation with mum when coming home after 12 hours, ahrrr. I just also did not want conversation, just a hot water bottle and couch. But I had to pass the kitchen and maybe I acted weird. At the end she was pissed and said “I am realy sry for living here”. Holy sh… Drama.
Anyway I reflected on my way in the house today, that I realy changed in how I deal with stress in job and giving myself permission to be more authentic.
There is a journal but that is private to you. Other than that, you can just open a “scaredsmol’s journey” or similar thread and use that, it’s what most people do who want to journal their life and adventures publicly
@Laner I too get bursts like this out of the blue. Best I do is do my best to keep a schedule (seems you are doing this). I wish I had insight into this. Hope you are able to get back to your normal sleep schedule soon @Millie_1987 great work friend! No worries with your writing skills…your writing is perfect. Distractions do really help curb the temptations. Keep up the great work @Lighter so happy to hear that you are loving your patrol gig! That is a great milestone drinking is no way to celebrate lol…so funny how our minds still think that it is
@Juli1 ha, I am also INTJ albeit I test 50/50 for E/I so it depends on my mood. I also don’t naturally like smalltalk but I have definitely learned that it has value, even if it is just to make the other people around you like you more and therefore help out more readily when you need it!
Usually get a drink for the fireworks. And usually get a drink for the Celtic game. And I’ve been out driving about seeing the fireworks with my daughter.and now sitting with a tea waiting for the game. And I’m actually feeling fine. Wouldn’t have been able to drive about if was drinking.so enjoyed it lot better.
or Mikecycle? Idk. Tough decision 
I’m sorry your not so fortunate over there 
It’s not that i am missing communication skills in general. At the end I am just so uninterested 
drinking is no way to celebrate lol…so funny how our minds still think that it is