Congratulations on day 3!!
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Day 997
Morning TS! I had a really good sleep last night and feel fairly rested today. My son has an appt today at 1pm so that is the main goal for the day. Then some cleaning needs to be done. Thats really about it for the day. Im feeling pretty good mentally, not like I have been the last little while. So grateful for that. Hope everyone has a fantastic day!!
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Thank you, my friend! I hope your sleep will get better.
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@mxelle thank you 
your reply prompted me to buy some lemon and ginger tea, I will give it a try.
I do love ginger ale too so Iāll get some of that next time I go to the big supermarket that sells it.
@Joyce19 congrats on your week+ 
@SoberWalker yay for foot freedom 
and wow, I love London Grammar! How were they live? 
arrgggh about the lice! I hope you are free of them now 
enjoy the show tonight 
@acromouse I hope youāre feeling better š©µ
@Thirdmonkey congrats on 9+ months caffeine-free
@Kitster welcome to the checking-in thread
@4649Tobeme-now welcome back congrats on 5+ days
@Refreshedperspective I hope the date went well
@Dessy welcome back 
congrats on 5 days
@james83 congrats on double digits
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@BrOKenWolf lovely photos belated congrats on 3 years 
@Mno happy birthday! 
@One4theroad havenāt seen your post but belated congrats on 6 years
@Tragicfarinelli belated congrats on 30 days no THC
@Lighter I hope your first shift went well 
@Rookie belated congrats on 30 days
@JazzyS feel better soon š©µ
@Noshame belated congrats on 6 months no nicotine
@Laner belated congrats on 7 months Iām sorry about the machine stealing your card, thatās a ridiculous amount of time to wait! I would have thought they would need to refill it with money more often that that! I know things are very different where youāre living, but here in the UK, if you go to an actual bank of the conpany you bank with, and you prove your ID, they will give you a certain amount in cash there and then.
@Bunto welcome back congrats on 3 days
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@BillsMafia13 belated congrats on 60 days
@s_unrelax welcome back congrats on 3 days
@Timetochange congrats on 500+ days
@Chevy55 congrats on 10 months
@Thumper1213 welcome back
@Collins thatās incredible! did you study for the tests?
@Frank68 congrats on 30 days caffeine-free
1548 days no alcohol.
1013 days no cocaine.
27 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
So I made it to 40 days for no crisps or binge-eating, my second longest streak ever, but Saturday night I couldnāt sleep and the voice got in my head that I needed crisps to watch the final of a program Iāve been watching, and without much conscious thought at all, off I went to the shop. I didnāt enjoy them, yet I did the same thing last night for the same reason. Time to start standing up against the voice.
Iāve had constant nausea since I first started reducing the dose of the first medication on 26th September, and a migraine on the whole right-hand side of my head since last Thursday, with neck pain on that side too. Canāt shift it. Itās making me even more useless than usual (if thatās even possible!).
I had therapy Monday, it went okay. Spoke a little bit about the abuse. I had seen photos from 11 years ago, some with my first abuser in, the night before, and had woken up sweating but couldnāt remember the nightmare.
I didnāt realise I hadnāt taken my morning meds Monday until 13:30 (I usually take them between 1-2am), so that explained why I hadnāt stopped sweating up until 30mins after Iād taken them.
I am in the very initial stages of trying to purchase a house. I have factors working against me but I can only hope. Rent prices are insane in the whole city I live in, so when my tenancy ends/renews on 6th June next year, Iām anxious I wonāt be able to afford the rent increase, so itās worth a try. The affordability assessor has gone silent on me though and hasnāt responded to my emails from Monday afternoon. Iām being patient and have been constantly researching related stuff, over and over again so Iāve stopped now and kinda lost hope.
Today was my walk with the Safe Soulmates volunteer, so l saw and fed some water birds again, and did 8K steps. I felt painfully guilty when some geese appeared after Iād already thrown the last of the food in though. 
Will hope to see them net week.
š©µ
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Sweetie as I read the āContinued Adventures of Lanerā. I feel so much love for you . First I want to give humor. I believe your community to be small enough that if you do borrow money from someone they know you and where you live. Mountain snowed in so you probably wonāt run off without paying them back anytime soon. Maybe promise a sheep for collateral. Second suggestion. A bucket. Yep peeing in the night No way would I be going outside in the cold.
With my dumb humor aside. I am sorry about the anxiety. I wish I could remove it all. Lack of sleep is a bitch too. I think you are doing all you can to overcome the tough stuff. Please know I care and keep us posted.
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London Grammar was fun to be with but the light show was far too bright so you could hardley see them on stage 
But her voice is massive and if they would adjust the light a bit and interact more with the fans it would be a perfect show 
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Your response has me laughing. This group has showed me how much weird stuff and ways of living Iām used to now. 
I have so many buckets in the kitchen full of water Iām too afraid Iāll pee in the wrong one at night if I get a pee bucketš¤¦āāļø
And yes I think I wonāt have a problem to borrow money until my card is back. Sheep as collateral is a solid idea! I just loved that the bank employee suggested this to me.
Thanks for the humor and more importantly for the encouragement! I really do appreciate how kind everyone here has been.
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Oh thatās interesting to know. Unfortunately this bank isnāt here as it is my American card not my local card. But I canāt load my local card without the eaten cardā¦bit confusing to explain?And the atm is refilled once a month and runs out of money around week 3 is a bit on the shady side but in the past the next closest atm was 2 hours away.
Itāll get worked out. The bank suggested I give them a sheep and they loan me cash which made me laugh. I think they need a lesson from the UK banks.
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@SadMemeQueen hey Megan, just checking in you, especially after the election. I know u were worried about what was going to happen so thought id pop on and see how u were doing?
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I am a disaster honestly but Iām doing my best
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Iām very grumpy today. I didnāt get a wink of sleep so has to sleep while my daughter was at school again. Thank goodness Iām not working atm. Iād be going to the shop now normally but nope
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Day 662.
Soā¦ Iām writing this little check-in while flying home. Today was full of panic/anxiety/bewilderment and a flight. I really donāt like flying, but today made it even more challenging.
While at the airport, I walked to the bar with my husband and he got himself a pint. It was the same airport pub I used to grab my pre-flight wine from once upon a time. Beer doesnāt usually tempt me. But today it did. The telly was on loud, my mind was racing and fuck me gently with a chainsawā¦ that beer looked so incredibly appealing. I probably sat staring at it for 10 seconds. But it felt like 10 hours. It was like staring into a dark abyss I desperately wanted to enter.
Soā¦ I told my husband Iād go walk around the duty free to check out the perfumes. I wanted to buy a dior, but decided I should be a bit more sensible and settled for a Britney scent. Britney never disappointed me. Dancing alone in my bedroom to her casette as a kid made my nightmare upbringing just a wee bit more bearable. So I bought the perfume. Texted my shrink to ask about the max dosage of anxiety meds I can take to help me through today. Boarded the flight.
Oh! And yesterday I bought the most amazing shoes from a department store outlet. Theyāre pink trainers and probably the best, most comfortable footwear Iāve had in years. And jeans! For the first time in forever, I found comfy jeans that fit my big ass. Not jeggings, but bonafide jeans! Thatās pretty close to a miracle for me.
The little things matter. In the words of Dolores, from the excellent HBO show, Westworld:
ā
And here I am. Sober. Flying (Iām literally flying right now, but Iām waiting to land before I can post).
Last time I used world events as an excuse to drink was probably Covid, and maybe the other thing that happened in 2022 and is still ongoingā¦ Either way, fuck it. My sobriety comes first. My anxiety is mine to manage. And alcohol can kiss my big fat arse. Never again. No matter what. Iām not going back. Onwards, upwards, and sober.
I love you guys. Stay safe. Each and every one of you matter. Your sobriety matters. Whether youāre tempted to drink to ācelebrateā or ādown your sorrows,ā donāt. It doesnāt solve anything. It will just make you feel like shit tomorrow. 
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Late lunch check in.
Pushing through my resistance and need for a break I wonāt have until my daughter goes to bed tonight while Iām solo parenting around 8:30-9PM.
Pushing, grinding, hustling.
Whatās the end game? Big picture. Big purpose.
Pushing, grinding, hustling.
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Day 13 check in.
Up at 6am gym before work 
Sober client lunch
Home sober to spend time with my family
A good day. Two weeks fast approaching and Iām starting to crave a drink. Time for a re-read of This Naked Mind which helped big time last time around.
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45 AF and going steady. Iām doing a small tweak to my life by paying more attention to what I eat. I realized Iāve been comfort eating. Less treats, more nutritious balanced meals. 
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Checking in on day 65. It was an interesting evening and uneasy day for me due to recent events, but I will stay away from alcohol. This would have been the perfect excuse back in the day to get wrecked, but it will not make me feel better. I know that! Have a great afternoon and evening everyone!
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Checking in. Im still sick, but took some cold meds and forced myself to go to work. I really wanted to just stay home and avoid people today. Iām in shock, disappointed and have honestly lost faith in people to do the right thing. Enough said
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Checking in day 508 AF
Everything is going well. I hope everyone else is well too.
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