@scaredsmol I’m happy too you didn’t drink. Drinking would not change what happened. I understand you’re pissed for the fine and it’s okay to feel that way. 
@Mno custom build bike, how cool. If you build it, I would love to see the result.
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Damn @seb dont fall for it. After i looked up the conversion for 37C…thats swimming weather. You have some natural waters around where you live?
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512
Feeling better, I would say I’m 80% recovered. I was at home last week, took 3 days off work and glad I did, it’s taking forever to get better from this flu. But I’m almost good. What most important, I don’t feel so down mentally and weak physically anymore. I actually think about some workout today. Will see.
It better won’t rain today couse Sinterklaas is coming to our village this afternoon. Its always nice outdoor event for kids, obviously they love it.
My boys are crazy about colouring. Lately Im playing Sinterklaas themed songs on spotify (@Mno @SoberWalker you Dutch people have some super cute joyful Sinterklaas liedjes, im absolutely in love) while they are colouring. And they are all singing 
This is such a wholesome picture to watch, my heart is melting.
Also, yesterday twins were first day at school (next week they go also one day and then in December they start full time). I was cool but my husband was so emotional 
All morning he had butterflies in his stomach. So this motherfucker has some feelings after all 
Also, he’s sober for few days now, I really hope it’s gonna work this time.
It’s almost 8am here, rest of gang still sleeping. I have my 2nd black coffee already, I’m ready to seize the day.
Love you 
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Yes Mischa, I love all the fun and mystery around Sinterklaas as well. It was such fun to fill my kids their shoes with presents and take out the drawings they made for Sinterklaas. Ore the carrot they put in for the horse
Enjoy!! They grow up so fast!
Ps glad you are feeling better!!
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257 days
Gym then out for lunch with the kids.
Eldest has a sleepover birthday party for a friend and my wife is out with friends for a birthday.
I took my youngest to watch some fights and then out for dinner. We’re home now and im laying on the floor in her room listening to bedtime music with her. A good evening.
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Day 62
Saturday morning, loudly purring cat in my lap and I’m enjoying cup of tea hangover free. 
I had fun last night. Everything I want to be is already in me. Rhyming unintentionally this morning. 
I don’t need alcohol as my “support” or to have fun time. I decided to enjoy my evening sober and it went well. I talked with people, went dancing and observed people. I feel seen and connected with people sober and big plus is I remember the conversations I have. Though some people were little surprised I wasn’t drinking, no one tried to change my mind. 
I woke up same time as usual and had only 5 hours of sleep. Sounds like I’m having a nap today.
I wish everyone a wonderful sober weekend. 
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Checking in! 
I’ve been doing very well lately, besides not drinking and smoking, I’m also starting to get control over my ED, currently on day 7 without any self destructive behaviors, not much… but a first one for me in +25 years!
Next week they’re organizing a charity concert in my town for the people that suffered the heavy floods in Valencia 3 weeks ago (100.000 cars were totally or partially damaged! That’s a lot of cars!), and sadly 220 people lost their lives. I’ve joined the organization of the concert as a volunteer, we’re meeting up this morning (people I don’t know - another step out of my comfort zone) to organize the ticket selling, setup of everything etc… If I’d still be drinking I guess I’d never have signed up for this! 
Feeling optimistic and comfortable with myself right now! 
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Yes I thought that sentence can get attention. It’s just english is not my language and sometimes its harder to express what I really want to say. I mean it’s not our duty to inspire others, tho it can be in a way. I mean we are born to be social and our actions / thoughts need to correlate with others. So maybe I feel more detached lately, socially detached. Don’t get me wrong,I am not depressed. I always smile and people like my energy, but it must be sort of circle / exchange in between that feels a bit off lately… Lets take the In/Yand symbol 
black and white and you sort of pick one color and fall into this black and white circle - good or bad, left or right… I am sort of fading away from this right / wrong - theirs / ours - constant fight… and it is good in a way. Yet I am loosing part of the fun of the game… It’s a bit deep things to explain… and as I said - i dont feel like I want to explain… Maybe I need more time for this new ‘‘Unknown’’ feelings to diggest… So that is why I called this Chapter of my Journey - UNKNOWN.
It’s new shifts for me, new realisations, and I always like to put everything in boxes, label, explain - yet it sort of calling me for unboxing, unlearn, fall a bit more into the unknown… maybe
Give Up in a way, Give up to God? as they say in 12 Steps? I always talked about spiritual concepts, but maybe this Give Up part was always something that I really struggle to do.
I can talk, explain, I understand the principles, I experienced many miracles in my life, I FELT IT… yet I still struggle to Give Up.
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☆ Day 2257 
Still using my walking girl emoji but notice my irritation rise when I put it where I used to.
A few times I wanted to change it into this one 
but I feel like a whiner if I would do so.
Soberwalker…soberwheeler…soberwhiner
Well at least I’m sober isn’t it!
The above is going to be my mantra of today
Getting my brain out of my feet and try to live a bit.
Have a good day ore night all
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Thanks Jazzy. You’re completely right. Only one instance was by choice, the rest have been work related. I run a financial business and lots of client interaction happens over food and drink. This was part of the reason I ended up with a drinking problem in the first place - 20 years ago when I started out it was completely normal to drink at lunchtime any and every day. Even a drink in the morning because you had a hangover was not frowned upon… it’s got less alcohol centric but some outposts still exist.
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Cool change has hit so went for a nice walk
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I don’t know if it will help you, but no one loses 14 or 10 lb in 2 weeks so you can be safe in the knowledge that your friends are making things up. A lb is roughly 3,500 kcal so to loose 10 lbs you have to have a calories defecit of 35,000. The average sized office working female burns about 1700 calories per day as maintenance calories. So your friend would have to eat literally nothing per day and work out intensely for approximately 2 hours per day to lose 35,000 calories (10lb) in 2 weeks. Ok, hormonal water fluctuation and constipation at the start could maybe fudge the scales but seriously it’s most likely BS.
Losing weight is hard and disheartening at times, I hear you. But if you’re making this much effort you should see some results after 7 months.
I had to change my diet to eat much simpler foods in order to do it because the calorie count in processed food was wildly higher than stated so I was getting the maths all wrong. Plain food like chicken, salmon, rice, vegetables is much easier to calorie count with.
You may also need to look at your Base Metabolic Rate calculation. It varies hugely between people depending on age, weight, activity level, etc. There are a few calculators online and I used a few of them and took an average as the results can vary.
If you can create a calorie deficit of 500 per day you can expect to lose a lb per week on average over time. Slow progress, yes, but sustainable.
Good luck and I hope you figure out what is causing the hold up for you - you’re putting in so much work that you deserve some results! 
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Quick check in today (Day 15)
Going to get ready to pick up my son and head off to a meeting and nice lunch after. I am so grateful that our relationship has become an open normal mother son relationship. He called last night and said he is celebrating his 60 days today so did I want to celebrate with him at a meeting then lunch?
What a blessing. Have a happy sober day recovery fam.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1623. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 323 AF
Well it is a stormy and dark day out there… well sun hasn’t come up yet so still kinda night, lol.
I have a 2 hour upper body workout session planned, a 30 min treadmill as well as beginning a guided running program to get me to a 5km as a first step. I’m all very excited about this day.
Wife picked up a shift again today so house to myself and she works again tomorrow so that’ll be 5 days of house kinda to myself to crank music and slam weights (not literally), haha
@JazzyS , yes those surprise visits by him are always enjoyable and putting a change to my daily workout isn’t an issue. I’d take him any day he comes home. I’m thinking of another movie (I’ve replaced my evening news with a 5pm movie it seems), and perhaps it’ll be Meet Joe Black, I love Anthony Hopkins, and Claire Forlani is just adorable looking in this show… then there is Brad. Well ya know, fight club dude always rocks movies… and while I’ve seen this movie, I’m not sure I remember it well. Perhaps drinking then.
@wahtisnormal, I hear you in the frustration. Weight is sometimes complicated and always frustrating. I’m about 5lbs up since June and I always am cognizant of my food and try to remain physically active (excessively sometimes) but I’m trying to change my view on it. I know eating well and exercise will lead to much improvement in health, especially with taking away alcohol. The weight will take care of itself at some point if you maintain the lifestyle and learn to enjoy it. Otherwise it becomes a distraction and a weight on your shoulder. I hope you start seeing success, but more importantly enjoy the journey of it all. I send much best wishes…
Well, coffee is done. I need to decide on a light breakfast and then hit the gym for the morning. I am jacked for the routine today.
Best day all 
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367 / one year sugar
231 UPF
105 gluten
105 dairy
41 mindful eating
Yesterday was technically - it’s a leap year - my one year anniversary. One year freedom from sugar, one year on a path of recovery from binge eating, loosing controll, feeling awful about myself, trying to deal with life through addiction.
I tried to stop many times before. What is different this time?
This time it’s not about abstaining from something but re-discovering a life where I do not feel the need to self-medicate whichever way. This time it’s about finding a way to be human. This time it’s about community. This time it’s not abbstinence but recovery 
Thank you all for being with me on this path 
I celebrated my anniversary day with a friend in my favourite spa/sauna including massage. It was blissful.
Today is open day at the school where I teach classes and I am going to represent IT and afternoon clubs. It’s going to be exhausting but also very fulfilling. Some relaxing yoga will help me unwind later. Depending if I can handle more human interaction I’ll join a meeting.
Today’s picture is yesterday’s snowy landscape that surrounded my spa venture.
Peace and love for life always 
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I like this quote Here evening 5.30pm, Going for prayer and my mood much improved. This time my fasting continues until January 18th means almost 2 months. but I want to continue this soberity after my fasting finish also.
Fasting for pilgrimage in India., According to Hinduism (my religion), We fast for visiting temples (Not eat meat, no alcohol, no sex, etc…)
Going for prayer
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Happy Saturday!
Checking in on another sober weekend morning. I get to teach classes today and help people. All with a clear head an 100% available effort because I didnt drink last night.
Make it an awesome day my friends!!
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Sorry I didn’t answer your question about my wellbeing. I forgot 
I’m doing “mwah”, a bit in a grey mood overall but fighting to beat it. Looking forward to get to work again next mondag. Distraction is more then welcome! Good to see your focus is in the right direction Sarath, keep it up!
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Hello yall,
Quick check in before off to skating Hit a bit of a wall late in the week. Just getting used to the flow of things and honestly its hard keeping up with all of the lofe that happens around both of us working ft out of the house.
Hubby got in a mood this week because the night where he picks up kids, i can tell its just a lot for him to get home, clean kitchen and cook. He has this THING with a clean kitchen that I just do not have…i mean i dont want it to be dirty, but the kitchen is an ever moving area and it will not stay pristine when we are home. When he is stressed about something else he fixates on the kitchen being clean lol. And my mom has a lot of stress and I love her and want to be there fpr her, but sometimes it is hard being that person. Again, i have that parentificatipn thing in my brain but its something i havent spent too much time learning about because yep the shpe fits…but you know when ypure just learning so much stuff about yourself at an older age it can be overwhelming. I just thought I was an alcoholic with anxiety. Turns out I have adhd and a sensory processing issue, and that being gifted actually effects your personality LOL. That is all i can handle right now bc frankly part of my brain is going gen x here and being like “everyones got a diagnosis now” ON MYSELF LOL.
My daughters teacher brought up attention deficit about our daughter and even though it was something i was suspecting myself, it was still hard to hear. I just felt lost for a second. I agree that sure we’re learning from the boomer gen who didnt talk about stuff or address it, but whats the next gens goong to learn from us…because every gen thinks we’re fixing or learning from the previous, but i mean we’re just doing the best we can and our kids are defs going to have some shit to say about our method of approach. I already talk to my daughter about how her brain is different, powerful and VERY fast in comparison to others. So the basis of the discussion is there…but I dont knpw, i need time to sit woth how to tackle it. I think of what my life may had been like had anyone actually known why i was the way i was instead of just calling me an asshole teenager who needed to learn a lesson.
And theres my brain LOL looking forward to a beautoful weekend with my family. Deep breaths
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