Checking in early morning of
565 no alcohol
74 no form of weed
205 nic free
I’m really happy to be nic free. I have quick thoughts to grab some lozingis every now and then out of my pocket but I can quickly dismiss the thought but sometimes it does get irritating
Not going back though. It was unforgettably difficult to get nic free for this long. It was totally worth it though. Vaping was terrible also. The habit was terrible, losing the vape and not being able to find it was terrible. Cigarettes were disgusting now that I look back
Addiction is a odd thing because your so use to drinking that you can’t see a life without. Sobriety isn’t a bad thing at all and it’s worth the time. The relief after long cravings are strong.
Day 377. Asked my doctor for my test results, it looks like my liver enzymes went up even higher from my last labs. My testosterone was low again. Im glad i was negative for hep c. She said we would discuss the labs at my next appointment so im assuming she is not greatly concerned. My ultrasound is tomorrow, but i do hope all is ok… the other day my dad messaged me, said hey im dropping off the girls birthday presents. I said ok, he is always months late at bringing them and then doesnt even see them. I dont hold a resentment towards him, but its not how i want my girls to know their grandfather. Yesterday my step mom messaged me and said sooo. Christmas ideas, you, heather, autumn and addie. Part of me kind of wants to message my dad and politely ask to please not bother with presents for us. I dont mean it in a disrespectful manner, its not because im salty or mad. But i think they could put there money towards my niece and get her more presents. My dad has only seen my girls about 9 times. And its to bring presents months later… he has not been to one birthday party for either of my girls. Last christmas when he came up, he said he doesnt know why but he feels like he loves my niece more than my girls. And like i said i dont hold a resentment towards him for this. Its his life and his choice and feelings. But i dont really want my girls to be apart of it. Im confused at what to do, i think it could be a healthy boundary or it could put some resentmant in him and not talk to me.
Totally understand this mindset and that is why it’s so necessary to stay connected here or irl with support. I lived alone and would keep myself isolated so that I could drink to my hearts desire in peace. Not a healthy lifestyle. You are not alone in this. Look forward to celebrating double digits with you tomorrow @Noshame great work on not giving into the thoughts. It is irritating now but even that gets easier and less so. Just keep pushing forward @Chevy55 sorry you aren’t seeing results eith your work outs and your healthy eating / sleeping routines. That has got to be frustrating. I am glad that you are feeling healthier…that is a positive. Hope the doc can shed some light. Ask to check thyroid and body inflammation.
Just keep doing what you are doing.
I’m sorry Mike. This is not an easy decision and I can see how it’s weighing on you. You have to do what’s best for you and your girls. He may be mad or hurt and may even not talk to you for some time but you can’t let his reactions keep you from protecting you and your girls from the emotional chaos.
Seriously …just no words. You could tell him how you feel and where you are coming from. Not that you are cutting off ties but rather setting healthy boundaries.
Checking in on Tuesday morning…super tired and oh yeah…more tired. Head is just lightly throbbing and I hope it doesn’t go any further than that. Gonna get moving. See how the day unfolds.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
Day 1,628 clean and sober today. Made a couple dumb mistakes at work yesterday and was corrected by my Program Director. He is so nice and kind, it is me that is having a hard time letting go ugh. I have to remind myself that I am still learning and that I’m not going to be perfect. There are a lot of moving parts behind the scenes of clinical assessments etc that I need to give myself some grace and know that I can only improve. Today is a new day.
631
Today it’s 13 years that I stopped smoking. So I took myself to the big shopping centre in Sheffield. Had my eyebrows done, got a burrito power bowl for lunch and now I do a bit of shopping. It’s not too busy today here. Probably my last visit to the shopping centre for this year. Nothing worse than masses of people doing last minute present shopping, the whole atmosphere just becomes stressful and toxic.
Checking in, day 8 AF, 9 days without weed. Today I’ve been okay. Took 2 walks and now I’m listening roots reggae and reading a book. Now I’m dreaming again in my sleep, I didn’t dream at all while being stoned or drunk, so my head is getting clearer which is a good sign. Sobriety works. Have a great day/evening/night!
I used to think that way. ‘Nobody’s around, I can do whatever I want and nobody will know!’ It’s how I relapsed the first time. By having ‘just one drink’, alone in my living room. And it was just one drink…the first day. The problem was, I knew. Which made me believe I could have one the next day, but instead I had 3(and then 15 the 3rd day ) I know that will happen every single time. For me, there’s nothing tempting about that anymore. Ask yourself, what IS tempting you? Headaches? Heartburn? Waking up at 4am bc your hearts racing, hoping that you don’t die? Dragon breath, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, flushing your money down the toilet, bruises from unknown causes, regretting things you don’t even remember doing? Should I keep going? Bc I can go ALL day That stuff is gonna take up alot more of your time than the few hours of numbness you’re craving. Think about it
@Mindofsobermike Wow, your dad seems kinda… If he’s not interested in spending time with his grandchildren, he’ll be the one with regrets in the end. If the girl’s don’t really know him already, it’s not their loss. It’s his. Now I see why you’re such a good father. Changing the course of history My man
@JazzyS@Misokatsu@Just_Laura@SoberWalker@Lastry@Lighter
Thanks for what you all wrote. It means a lot to me to know I can write about my bad days here, be listened to and encouraged. I’m doing better today and haven’t had any cravings. I also had a good talk with the counselor online and it helped me process some.
236 days sober
Today was better I talked to my online counselor in the morning which helped me.process and did stop by the funeral this morning to pay my condolences. Then I had a walk with my closest friend before going back to my place for tea and lunch. A few neighbor friends also came by for tea. It was good to just have a casual and uplifting visit with some friends.
Then in the afternoon I opened up my work email and foun my project proposal has been accepted!!! Which is great news and means I can start on my new project now. I’m looking forward to that. I prefer these longer more intensive projects to the short easy ones I sometimes need to do.
Anywho that’s all I have for today. Doing okay and just processing things.
…just no words. You could tell him how you feel and where you are coming from. Not that you are cutting off ties but rather setting healthy boundaries.
) I know that will happen every single time. For me, there’s nothing tempting about that anymore. Ask yourself, what IS tempting you? Headaches? Heartburn? Waking up at 4am bc your hearts racing, hoping that you don’t die? Dragon breath, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, flushing your money down the toilet, bruises from unknown causes, regretting things you don’t even remember doing? Should I keep going? Bc I can go ALL day 
That stuff is gonna take up alot more of your time than the few hours of numbness you’re craving. Think about it 
My man 
