Tuesday late bedtime check in.
I hustled nonstop from 6 o’clock this morning until my daughter transferred to the crib at 7:33 PM. Self reflection of the day is this: I need to schedule a walk out in fresh air, with some reflective time every day, before I need it. If I push it off until I have done XYZ tasks, or after lunch, it may not happen. I’ve gone two full days in a row without a walk or any personal time and space until late evening, and it’s just not worth it.
Peace, and goodnight/goodmorning/goodday to you.
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Day 10 AF. Double digits 
This is the longest I’ve been alcohol free in a long time. Thank you everyone, for your support 
Life feels simpler, easier and more manageable. I am actually feeling quite good. I am probably easing into the “pink cloud” phase.
I am considering joining a gym and a motorbike touring club.
I have started walking and I ordered a new smartwatch to count my steps. Could not find my old one. It has been too long, since I have cared about steps.
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Great progress, @BrownGecko, congratulations! 
If you haven’t already, I would hold off on buying a motorbike until you are sober a little bit longer 
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1999
Working another trial shift in town today. Not feeling as excited as the previous time two weeks ago, but maybe that’s a good thing. It’s at another place I’ve worked before, in a different capacity, close to 20 years ago. Before I choose to go to nursing school at 40 y/o. I still don’t understand how I managed to finish that. First memories that come to mind are hangovers and depression. Hm.
Well. Let’s just do it and have some fun today right? I’ll make today as good a day as I can. Sober and clean for sure. And I expect the same from all of you friends. Love.
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That’s funny you say that 
Just before I got on here and saw this, I deleted thousands (thousands) of emails, going back years. I’ve been putting this off for a while and Google keeps reminding me I’m running out of space. I know I’ll get a huge chunk back after going thru everything. 10+ years of photos! And I never used to go thru and delete bad or blurry ones. Just left em 
I found a 38min video of my living room ceiling while I was watching The Office! Like, wtf?! 
Sorry your day ended in a funk 
Sometimes sleep is the only cure for moods like that. Hope you sleep well and don’t wake up at 5am(ew). Tomorrow’s a new day 
@Lastry That’s awesome you went to your first meeting! Glad you enjoyed it 
I remember that anxious feeling of the unknown before I went to mine. It really was for nothing, lol. Keep coming back 
@BrownGecko Congratulations on 10 days 
Glad you’re feeling so good 
650
Not great sleep, but not too tired today. I’ve put off laundry for weeks(I can do that thanks to my alcoholism, bc there were so many times where, instead of doing laundry, I just bought new clothes! 
There isn’t enough storage room when everything’s clean ), but I finally did it today. Almost got it all folded and put away before bed. Almost. Whoo! No school for 5 days! I only have to wake up kinda early on Thanksgiving. Many thanks, society I’m actually excited for bed soon and the proper rest I can get. Need it for the next horrendous upcoming month. Hope you all have a good one
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17 days clean and sober
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☆Day 2261 
Had serious cravings last night. I know where they come from. I want to disappear, get attached from pain and worries. Hubby and son were discussing the taste of the wiskey hubby was drinking. It irritated me and fuelled my cravings. I asked them to stop talking about it and explained why. That helped a bit but it scared me to feel the urge hit hard even after so many years sober 
But…my old ways of coping with stress are no longer an option. My “new” learned coping skills are walking in nature and working out, well that’s not going to happen either so today I’m going to listen to a sobriaty podcast to fuell my sobriaty a bit instead of the cravings.
Today I am sober.
Have a good day ore night all
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Checkin on day 19
Payday has been and gone. So nice to actually spend a few hours with my budget, sorting out things in a responsible way, putting away some savings and knowing exactly how much I can spend a week. Now that I am not spending £15 or more a day in wine and pretend “dinner party” food I actually have spending money. Who’da thunk it! We get paid again on the 20th December, which is nice to have in time for Christmas but it does bring the 9,465 week wait for payday in January so I need to keep my wits about me and plan accordingly.
Work has been pretty toxic the last few weeks and I didn’t realise how much it was getting to me until I decided to take a step back from the department and environment. I am very fortunate that my job role is not part of a department but there is one that works alongside me and we often overlap. The team leader included me and I went along with it. Turns out he is combative, argumentative, disagreeable (insert any other words here and he is probably it). I don’t think he means to be, I think he is just being himself and cannot really help it. My role is to innovate and bring new solutions to the organisation, develop them, implement them and then work with the departments they help to embed them into business as usual. His role is to produce the data and keep any solutions up and running through a ticketing system. I am usually the bridge between the team that needs the new solution to solve a problem and his team. Everything I have tried to do for the last year has been met with “Computer says no” and takes an awful lot of effort for me to work on talking him round to what we are going to do.
Last week was the final straw and I decided to protect my own sanity and well being I will not be interacting with him unless I have to. Even then I am going to put my solution across - let him disagree and when asked what is happening to that project I will reply that Asshole* said no so it is not going ahead and let others take the fight higher up.
My new motto for work is “Moving on”
*Not his real name.
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@SoberWalker Well done 
, I’m happy to hear that you used a coping technique to stay away from alcohol. How seriously this alcohol damage in our brains, even if you stopped for years and still crave for it?
@sobernow 17 days is great, two digits amazing work David
@BrownGecko 10 day is huge achievement
Day 12
It’s afternoon here. I’m Going to have lunch. I don’t know. I’m very angry today without any reason. I hope this will be part of my recovery.
Because I’ve been fasting for 2 months, I cannot eat meat, also I’m not craving for alcohol. If I’m not in fasting I may urge for a drink. I know this anger will not last long, Anyway I’m happy other side because I’m sober 
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@scaredsmol the first few weeks were the same for me, and it took a while before I started feeling normal. Be patient, your body took a beating during the years you fed it poison, now it’s slowly recovering. The way I see it, we’ve spent years drinking, it will take a while to fully recover. You’re doing amazingly tho! 26 days is huge. And you only have to feel like this once.
@Mno good luck, Menno, you got this. They’d be fools not to hire you.
Day 683.
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. That’s all. Work and school are intense and chaotic. But that’s a good thing. It keeps the depression and anxiety at bay. I’m too tired to think. Thinking is the root of all my problems.
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Sending hug
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I do not consider it as damage Sarath. But as a path curved out in your brain. A road your brain is used to take for many years as a coping strategy when you are in rough waters. Let’s call that road plan A. Plan A was drinking to not feel stress ore anxiety.
After quitting my drinking I teached my brain to use a new road (let’s name that one plan B). That road is walking in nature, working out, eating chocate (and some other things).
Most of the time my brain takes the “new” road but when I am in rough waters it slips in the old road and I have to work harder to get it on the new one. Working harder means: putting more work into my recovery and mental health. I think when addicted something trained the brain in the wrong direction. You can retrain your brain but you are never cured and always need to train it to stick on the second road. Even after 6 years of sober time. I have seldom cravings by the way but I’m having a hard time in life right now so that’s why I craved yesterday. Old habits never die but are just sleeping.
I relapsed after 5 years of sobriaty by thinking I was cured after so many years. I know now it’s always there. So I won’t drink to allow it to awake again.
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361 days
Rough nightshift last night. Slept during the morning. Up around lunchtime. Then just a chilled afternoon.
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302 days AF
Received unexpected compliment and treatment yesterday, that brought myself in a very gentle mood.
Let’s go on with spa 
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Overthinking and creating my own realities not based on anything actually real used to tend to get me into trouble. Hell, it still does at times but much less any more.
Work and school at the same time is no easy feat but you’re doing it, even as chaotic as it seems. Kudos to you!
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Good luck Menno.
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There’s a lot of truth in this. Those decisions we make on the fly are so instinctive and natural sometimes. When we overthink, we drain the blood and colour from everything. Proud of you mate.
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370 sugar
234 UPF
108 gluten
108 dairy
44 mindful eating
Managed to catch the cold my daughter’s been having. Feeling just tired and achy. Going to take it slowly today. Cancaled all appointments. Will maybe do some light programming. That usually improves my mood.
Peace and love for life always 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1627. I hope everybody has a good one!
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@GOKU2019 how are you doing today?
@BrownGecko way to go friend 
double digits is awesome 
. Love the shift in mindset - keep it going strong 
@SoberWalker I’m sorry that the cravings came at you like that Claudia. Totally understandable but still very frustrating. Glad you were able to discuss your feelings with your family and ask them to not continue that conversation. 1/2 way till the plaster comes off…I do hope the next few weeks fly by for you. Hopefully the puzzle will be a good distraction 
Lol… Asshole would be a good name lol… good to see you creating healthy boundaries and standing up for yourself. Protecting your sanity is key.
The urge will pass and you will be happier for not giving in m. The alcohol has nothing of value to offer m. 12 days is amazing work. Try to find something to do to relieve your mind…a good long walk, some good light music or some comedy m. These activities or similar ones can help change up the mood and mindset. The anger will subside
Loved this and happy to hear. Really great to see you doing so well all around my friend
@acromouse ugh! Sorry Aga. Sending healing vibes and hope you feel better soon
Happy Wednesday y’all… checking in with little sleep and a nasty migraine forming.
I’m not feeling so hot either…hoping not coming down with something.
Gonna play today by ear. Just have the house left to clean as all the prep for Thanksgiving is completed. Slow and easy is the pace for today
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
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