Good Morning. Saturday and i have yet another busy day ahead. I’m embracing the busyness lately as its all good family stuff.
I’m also manifesting that I’m a non drinker. I just don’t drink like lots of other people. Most of my family and work colleges just see me as a non drinker and its not even a “thing” i don’t involve in big conversations about alcohol in work, when with extended family and there’s alcohol involved I’m just not drinking it, no big deal. There isn’t any big stigma or hush hush, not from me anyway. I just don’t drink.
My wife and kids don’t worry about me now. Can i go here can i go there will i be able to give them a lift to something? Of course i can, I’m not drinking.
@JennyH So sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis Glad to hear you are sober for this and able to be of help. Wishing you all the strength and love in this challenging times. @Amy30 Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on right now. I get the overwhelm. Hope you get to actually relax a bit and invest in self-care soon. @MrMoustache Glad to hear you finally got some much needed sleep. If you are in the mood, I’d love to see some pictures from your wintery walk @Love Good to see you stacking those sober days. Many of us spend so much time with planning, organizing, acquiring and consuming our DOCs, when we finally get sober, we’ve got so much time on our hands Maybe there are things you always wanted to try or read about. Or maybe joining a group or a meeting. @Mischa84 Sorry to hear this holiday time is taking a toll on your nerves. I hope calmer times are just around the corner for you @MrFantastik Feeling useless is tough. I hope you can enjoy your down time a bit and find a good way to spend your day. @SoberWalker Glad to hear you found a way to workout AND you got to see your fabulous tree!
409 sugar
273 UPF
147 gluten/dairy
My days and nights are starting to resemble some normality. I don’t have to spend all day on the couch watching TV. I can do some stuff around the flat and do some programming work.
I started with walking a few of the stairs out of the flat every day, short rowing workouts and some short yoga. I am very glad about this trajectory of my health.
I also have been doing my reframing programm from fear to love and it is helping a lot.
Today I am going to take care of my IT tools and my plants. I want to join a RD meeting and do some Yoga in the afternoon.
Today’s picture are some flowers to remind me that this winter will end at some point
I never thought I would say that plodding along is the best feeling right now. I always seem to be chasing something, weightloss, decluttering, spring cleaning, getting healthy, staying sober. The addict in me is always chasing the next thing. Not right now. Right now is all about the soul work.
Consistency doing the next small right thing.
Patience with knowing that the days stack up at the pace they stack up at whether I wish I was further along or not.
Freedom to choose to drink or pick up a sober tool instead.
Becoming less afraid of a life without using or drinking. Coping with daily life sober.
I will not drink today and today is the only day that matters.
Day 9
I feel like giving up so much right now. I had been having a pretty good day yesterday and while in the car with my husband last night he went on a HUGE super negative rant . Anyways like I’ve always done when this happens I try to remind him of the positives ( even if small) and he blew a gasket on me. Accusing me of thinking I’m so much better than everyone else now because I haven’t had a drink in a few days . That I wasn’t fooling anyone and I’d be drunk again in no time because it’s what I do …. Well let’s say I shut right down at that point . I was so hurt I don’t think I said another word for the rest of the night and have been thinking “ Why Bother?”. I mean he’s probably right and I probably won’t get far
I’m sorry you are going through that. I like to call that the Pandora’s box effect! When we do something that shines a light on someone elses behaviour. So for example, showing our strength in staying sober can highlight what someone else sees as their own failures or things they cannot control. It creates the explosive opening of Pandora’s box and lets out all the venom and resentments they have been holding in.
Being able to say to myself - “Oh thats Pandora’s box opening” in my head helps me to not take what is being said personally and let it affect my journey. It is, in effect, just venting and means nothing. and doesn’t affect me.
You don’t have to get far. You just have to not drink today and I am sure you can do that. Then wake up tomorrow and do it again.
Do you really want to give up because HE is in bad mood? Because I don’t think you do. What he said is only telling something about himself, not you. He is projecting, you making changes in your life shows his weak points. Tell that grumpy ass to be supportive or suck it up. Don’t give up!
@JennyH Sorry to hear about your mum, I hope you hear positive information when you hear the plan.
@CanadianGirl I am sorry to hear your partner is so unsupportive. How far you get is up to you. Many of us here have spent years or decades getting drunk or high, and many of our partners (and ourselves) had lost hope. But you only need to quit forever once.
@HolySquid ugh! I’m sorry that you are unwell. So grateful it’s not COVID. Being sick still bites. Enjoy relaxing with Netflix and get better soon @TeaCosy yum. That sounds lovely and yeah I’m a sucker for anything chocolate. Looking forward to enjoying your birthday with a slice of cake @Singtone oh that’s a beautiful quote and a great reminder . Impressive number of day ones @MrFantastik I know it’s still painful and hard to move. Hope you are able to work out the tightness…maybe a massage or foam rolling/ stretching? @love good luck on your exam @Mischa84 big hugs my friend. Hope you are able to find some peace and rest this weekend @Amy30 lol…yeah like Reddit (didn’t make that connection). I do find that it the site in general is moving slower for me. . I hope you can relax and get some distance from studying. I found that a break actually did wonders for my studying (as hard as it was to think not studying for a bit would help). Good luck with your deadlines. @JennyH happy birthday to your mom! I am so very sorry to hear about the diagnosis. Here if you need to talk. Sending positive healing vibes . @acromouse so happy to hear that you are starting to feel better and are able to do more. Hope this continues. Be gentle with yourself @CanadianGirl 9 days is flipping awesome work Tisha. I know it’s not been easy but you are doing it and sticking to it…this is strength! I am sorry that your husband said what he said. Who knows where it came from (sounds like jealousy to me as he can’t see himself doing this and wants his drinking partner back). Don’t pay anyone any mind. You are doing this journey for you and you are crushing it . Double digits tomorrow…that’s something to keep pushing forward for!
Checking in on Saturday morning
Not able to sleep and feeling meh. I have this thing that if a part of my body (like a pinky or my calf or whatever) gets wet or changes temp - then I have a sneezing fit. Well damn… This keeps happening and I feel cramped with all the sneezing crunches I’ve just done…hope this counts as a workout
I have people coming over today so I know that is weighing in me. I do hope I get some rest tho as I look a fright.
Gonna try and get some zzz’s before officially starting the day
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day. Sending you all so much love
I my book it totally does. I remember once I had a cold coming on and I couldn’t fall asleep for hours cause I would have to sneeze every x minutes.
Life is full of fascinating experiences
He’s AFRAID that you are actually doing something so much better. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news to him, but you ARE.
NEVER let anyone else take away your spark. Please please do this for yourself, not him. Prove everyone wrong in silence and grace. Don’t react, don’t agree, don’t give energy to negativity. Nine days is no joke, it’s remarkable. Please stay with us and ignore his fear.
don’t fear what you don’t understand
Take that hurt and try to fold it into healthy mix of dispassionate compassion for someone hurting (him) themselves but also fighting themselves (though you feel the vitriol). It’s on him, not you. Hostility is just unregulated emotions and misplaced blame. His power is to diminish yours because he clearly feels powerless over everything within his grasp to change. So don’t you dare let him. You are doing amazing things
I appreciate everyone’s supportive words this morning. I really needed them. It’s just hard for me to stay positive in moments like those. To be honest even his rant made me want a drink. I now realized how many times those rants of his were followed by me grabbing a drink the second I walked in the door . Just one of the many daily life things I coped with by drinking. The weird part about it was he not long ago he had negative comments about how much I drank now apparently there is something wrong with me not drinking. He himself has not drank since his diabetes diagnosis and was only a weekend drinker to begin with. On the other hand he consumes Marijuana from the moment he wakes everyday . He reminded me regularly how my habit was bad for me but his habit is actually wasn’t. I guess in the end each sober day is just learning how to cope with something new. Hopefully it gets easier.
Hey dears, happy Saturday I continue reading Carr’s book on quitting alcohol, I’m in the last third of the book. Thinking about the addiction, for me the trap was in the belief that toxic substance provides pleasure, support plus I’m able to have it under control from health perspective during the next day by maintaining healthy diet. My body is saying something different from that, not to mention mental health. My skin has these harshs, irritates, blood pressure increased to medium severe level and I don’t feel under control and actually it’s just not me. Bought a ticket to cinema during the time I use to drink, it always helped me to stay sober. I just need to keep going here twice a day at least no matter how strong I feel, establish morning and night routines and keep repeating how awful and just wrong circle of alcohol addiction is, what a strong negative trap one gets into after first drink…
@CanadianGirl you did it, though!!! you didn’t let the situation pull you down and you did not pick up that first drink!! You win!!! Sorry, your husband is being a ……!! The drink won’t have helped anything!! Never does!! That alcohol demon is a tricky one it is try to pull you back in many ways!!!
You got this., get your day 10!!! Stay strong my Friend!!!
I know what you are talking about. I have one grumpy ass husband as well.
It’s good you recognized what triggered you.
Now you can think what to do next time and how to react afterwards. Instead of picking a drink try for example going for a walk or journaling.
I try my first AA zoom meeting (camera off). I’m not sure about it. I will try another one but need to figure out how to get my full name not to appear did not like that for sure.
Glad to hear you are sober for this and able to be of help. Wishing you all the strength and love in this challenging times.
Maybe there are things you always wanted to try or read about. Or maybe joining a group or a meeting.
. I hope you can relax and get some distance from studying. I found that a break actually did wonders for my studying (as hard as it was to think not studying for a bit would help). Good luck with your deadlines.
