The Redwings are here from Northern Europe. We have a fair amount of Rowan trees in our playground courtyard and they come early December every year to plump up after their long flight south from the cold and depleted northern berries. I noticed them on the 10th December this year, slightly earlier than last year. Peaceful little birds, happy to sit with Blackbirds and other thrush species in the trees.
I love them, for me this means it’s winter and festive. I’ve got my binoculars all ready at the patio windows, as every year I’m convinced I might spot my ultimate UK winter spots: the Cedar Waxwing or the Hawfinch. A Fieldfare or three might also be expected in my local parks, alongside lots of grounded green woodpeckers getting the worms up. Not yet, but I’m patient with ornithology moreso than any other aspect of my life.
Less appealing is the fruit filled bird poop on a white car. Who cares.
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Super busy day rounded out with Christmas shopping. Felt all warm n fuzzy in the shopping centre when there was a brass band playing carols and seeing so much joy on peoples faces. And another milestone ticked off.
I‘m trying to keep a positive mindset, but it‘s not easy honestly. I couldn‘t fall asleep last night for hours cause my feet felt like burning up in pain. It takes me an eternity to wake up and get up and the whole process is so taxing and anxiety inducing. I‘m starting to fear everything connected with sleep and bed. After every meal I feel like I‘m in a coma. I‘m feeling so sorry for myself right now. I know this will pass, I know it will change. I just want to be over with it, done and have a normal life again. So I am going to do what we all need to do: Take it one day at a time.
Checking in sober! Packing to head off on holiday with the family for a week, then waiting for extended family to come to ours for Christmas. My dad is also sober so I don’t worry about the Christmas period now that I am free from work!
Checking in things are going. I got good experience with coming to a new place blind to what i was walking into. As my time ends here i hope a new one opens i dont know the future. And i dont want to live in the past so. Think im going to roll the dice and plan another trip.lol how know guess we will find out hope everyone is staying warm and safe. Have a wonderful day (odaat)
It will change Aga. Hopefully soon. Nothing stays the same, and if it does, then we move. Internally, externally or imperceptibly. I’m always impressed by your resolve and stability.
Checking in on day
582 no alcohol
90 no form of weed
222 nicotine free
90 days no weed (3 months)
I haven’t been in triple didgets no weed in like 2 years. Not only that but all 3 of my biggest addictions in triple didgets will be a first.
I think this is day 3. I think on Monday i felt sick and stayed in bed, and havent left the house since. I work friday-sunday.
Ive been functioning drinking about 4 drinks per night to fall asleep. Usually about 5 dollars a night. Im miserable and not reliable as a person or friend. Idk if im actually sick or not but i physically feel unwell all the time even just from never stretching. Just hate everything and everyone lately and im just tired.
@laner My goodness -21??? We had one year where I remember temps that low and that was with with chill and I thought I almost died. So grateful that you do have ways to keep you warm @mno oh I hate when that happens. Hope you are making it through the day without much effort. Only a few more hours to go @Just_Laura I did sleep well …best sleep in a very long time. I downloaded the app but not sure how to read it . Just gives me a daily number but no comparison or standard line…maybe I need a different app? Good to know that it’s rising for a bit what a beautiful card and message @SoberWalker oh I do hope it’s fully healed . So glad that plaster is finally off.
Some days are like that. These days I just list the basics (things I take for granted) like clean water, fresh air, clothing etc…the practice of gratitude starts to take over almost naturally and helps me calm the chaotic part of my day … weird but it works. Breathe Fiona…this time of year is hard enough and we need to practice extra self care and self forgiveness @seb awesome sauce my friend!! Love it - 10 months and kicking ass … keep fighting the good fight Sebastian @acromouse I just want to reach out and hug you. This is the worst feeling and it can take over if you let it. I know it’s super difficult and the last thing you want to do when you are feeling/ experiencing this…BUT- reach out for positive thoughts, laughter - something to up lift the mood and change the outlook. It will get easier my friend. Have faith and I do hope your day gets better too @Noshame those are some amazing numbers! Congratulations my friend… looking forward to celebrating your triple digits of no weed with you shortly …you are doing great @Minatasha welcome back and great work on your sober journey…each day is a win I’m sorry you aren’t feeling so well. This could be the alcohol or the time of year or? If it lingers, please do go to a doctor. Drinking does make us miserable and sick. The withdrawal leave us feeling edgy and angry. This all will pass as you detox and acclimate to life without alcohol. Take it ODAAT
Checking in on Thursday morning
Enjoying a cup of hot coffee while I catch up here. Had a wonderful night of sleep. Feeling ok ish and I’ll take it …any sign of improvement is a wonderful sign
Woke up to many beautiful birthday wishes that warmed my heart. Thank you all! Really felt the love
A day of self care and a day just for me…gonna play it by ear
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Had a cold but beautiful morning walk. This is always my favorite part of the day whether I’m walking, snow shoeing or hiking just being outside and in the mountains makes me feel at peace. It helps settle my chaotic thoughts. While I walk I can feel the heaviness and tension ease. It’s like a void of darkness lifts and I feel a lightness. I hope that some day this feeling will last. Somedays it passes and the anxiety builds back up once I’m home and need to be still. Other times it lingers throughout the day and I feel hopeful that the anxiety won’t return. Either way it helps me cope and gives me what I need to feel healthy and to stay sober.
I’m pretty used to it and am definitely thankful for my house having proper heating now. A few years back I could see my breath inside and it’d snow in my kitchen when I cooked. Now it’s pretty cozy and only have ice on my windows…biggest compaint is the outside toilet in the winter! Just run in and out.
Hope wherever you are that you’re warm and toasty!
Checking in 289 days. Wonderful rainy morning. Crawled back in bed and am with all of you this morning. I have enjoyed all your posts. I AM HAPPY.
My sponsor told me at our meeting she hardly ever saw me smile 8 months ago. Now I am smiling most of the time. Sobriety has been the best time ever for me. I was so very miserable every day for most of the past 5 years. Ok I have shit to do. I am getting up and face the day. I vow I will not let my Mr. Bring me down today. Stay sober my lovely friends.
Checking in!
Feeling a bit stressed this afternoon. A colleague just texted me to ask whether I was going to the X-más lunch at my work next week, if “she should add me to the list”. I’m an extremely anti-social, and absolutely hate going to these type of events. Add to this that I’ve stopped sipping on poison, and would like to keep it that way (even though I don’t feel at risk), so I said to her thank you but that I won’t be going. You asked me, I gave an honest answer! End of story!
Now here comes the “but why??, we’re all going BS” and “it’s informal bla bla” bombing. I haven’t replied so far, and don’t think I will. My boss will also be pissed off if I don’t go. It’s funny how something so trivial, where I should be free to chose, is stressing me out so much!
Other than that I woke up at 5:00 am this morning with severe pain (it’s that time of the month), and couldn’t fall back to sleep because the effin pills were not working at all. I got up angry (and in pain) at 7:00 am. Probably that’s why I’m not in the best mood in general…
Tomorrow will be a better day! (at least pain wise speaking, my Xmas lunch dilemma will still be there )
. So grateful! ODAAT 
what a beautiful card and message 
… keep fighting the good fight Sebastian
(at least pain wise speaking, my Xmas lunch dilemma will still be there 
)