Checking in daily to maintain focus #73

[Lighter]

Hi Pamela. Congratulations on 9 days! That is incredible for people like us. Double digits and a chip tomorrow . The compulsion to fix everything will be strong, and that is so good that you know how you would like to live, or at least all the things you want to change.

When the brain starts clearing up it’s like opening a floodgate. When I got here people told me sober was enough- it’s a massive effort. Like the hardest self-improvement thing ever. I wanted to be fit again, lose a bit of weight, find a lovely sober partner, relocate to another US state, change careers, acquire one additional cat and a small dog, make my inaugural visit to several countries in Europe and take voice lessons. All the things that alcohol held me back from in so many ways. Now. If I’m getting sober, hell if I don’t do it ALL. I needed to atone for wasted years and so many missed opportunities. The guilt and shame! No more, I’m fixing it! It was my chance to do things right. It was my chance to atone. To be who I always could have been.

What I’ve learned is that for me, and most others doing more than getting sober is too much. I was so incredibly tired. I cried a lot. I had mad sugar cravings. It wasn’t working, that extra stuff I was piling on. I felt awful . I was disappointed with myself. Why wasn’t I losing weight?

Why did it seem so overwhelming…even just the not drinking part. Because it is the biggest change ever. Because I was sensitive to stress. Because I was in no position to start a relationship. Someone said: ‘hey, we’ve got you covered—how about one thing. Just a sober head on pillow tonight, ok? That’s all you need to do now.’ I was like but… I’m such a loser, there is so much to do! ‘Nahh, trust me, eat the ice cream if you want. Just find a way to get through the day sober. It is a massive accomplishment. The other stuff will fall into place when you’re ready. ‘. I felt so much relief though I was still kinda doubting this good man! But I did listen and he was right. He might have saved my life with just a few words. I was burning out quickly and having drinking thoughts. I was exhausted and we do HALT here a lot (don’t let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired) because those conditions can lead to relapse. Overdoing will get you there. Early sobriety is exhausting and you need time to just heal.

You are doing so well. This is the hardest part. And the good stuff is guaranteed. Your life will change and you will change in ways you can’t even imagine. Stick close if you can. I practically lived here for a couple of months. It works! Immersion. Reading hundreds of posts of people who have what I would like. Now it’s just how I live, and I’m so glad to have found this forum.

Welcome, pull up a recliner. I am glad you are here! It will get a little better every day We are proud of you and just a message away. Truly good, kind people all around.

[Catmama23]

Checking in towards the end of day four. I’ve been having good dreams (that I can remember, finally) except last night I had a terrible nightmare that woke me with an incredible sadness and I had to cry. I anticipated a nightmare soon because I know I get these in early sobriety… hopefully they don’t last. The feeling it leaves me with is as real as if something happened in real life. Anyway… I’m curious if it’s suppressed emotions or some neurological healing thing. I basically didn’t have good quality sleep for a year. I don’t know how I kept going… my brain wasn’t even functioning really toward the end.

The interview got pushed until next week… normally I would be annoyed but I’m SO grateful that I have more time to get some energy back. Was tired today but focused on doing the next right thing. Every few hours I do something for my program, either a meeting or checking in on an app or some quit lit. I pepper it throughout the day so it’s always close to me. I’m trying to be very aware of my thoughts and feelings. I cried again at an online meeting and felt so dumb… but I know alcoholics don’t judge… you are my people

I thank the higher powers for waking up sober and going to bed sober today. I will do it again tomorrow. Love to you all! xoxoxo

[Catmama23]

Yes! in the past I jumped into a thousand things and wanted to be an “A+ sobriety student”… now I know to focus on just a few things, these early days, and if I go to bed sober then I succeeded.

[Kareness]

Thank you! Just heard my review will be at the end of this month. Fingers crossed!

[HolySquid]

Don’t worry, I parked somewhere else and walked over.

I know, I could just leave my day counter on here, and leave it at that. But the whole point of setting myself the challenge to check-in daily during January is to challenge myself. So I do want to put some effort behind it.

[Dazercat]

@HolySquid

nice lake in some nature reserve

You had me fooled.
Keep warm.

[Pamela]

Thank you for your kind words. I think you are right, I just have to focus on staying sober and keeping that as the most important thing. Last two tries I’ve only lasted a month so don’t want to do anything that risks me failing again!

[JazzyS]

Oh I’m happy to hear that you did not have to attempt walking through any part of that lot.

@HolySquid

I do want to put some effort behind it.

I understand. We do enjoy your posts and hopefully it gets easier to come up with content

[JMS19]

I feel much the same as you. Nothing happening, it’s cold out, I’m cranky, can’t even take my dogs out for a walk. January is natures buzzkill.

[Lainenicole96]

Day 9 and found out I passed my advanced esthetic practical eeee! I got an 89 and can think of a few things I could’ve done better but you only need a 75 to pass so I am very proud of myself as many people don’t even pass on their first time especially the written portion which I passed, and it was the advanced versions! I am still learning just how capable I really am. Now I just need to pass my basic and I’ll be a licensed master esthetician and get to start training at the med spa I was hired at! This is the start of a whole new life for me. I am SO tired from the studying and tests and motherhood and I really just wanted to do nothing today and of course my dad was like, hey wanna help me fix all the posts and wires around our huge pond? of course I did, I love spending time with him and helping him because he is a stroke survivor so he struggles to get around as he did before. I was also so proud to hear from him today say he hadn’t drank in 8 days which is funny we are practically the same amount sober! My dad has always been a big drinker. And I know his goal isn’t to stay sober forever but I love to hear that he is taking a break. I can’t imagine losing my dad so I hope to get as much time left possible with him so anything he can do to be healthy means a lot to me. Hope you’re all well. I’m enjoying sobriety PS. Did you see how funny Nikki glaser was as the host of the golden globes? I went down a rabbit hole of interviews and some other comedy she’s done and she is such an inspiration for sobriety. She’s 12 years alcohol free and it just goes to show all the things we think we are while drinking, more fun/funny/socialable isn’t even true. I see just how much MORE of those things she is BECAUSE she is sober.

[Lainenicole96]

I have been putting off cleaning out my car, my house too my adhd mind is completely out of whack so I feel you on this

[Mira_D]

Hey all,
Been a very busy emotional few days. My dear friend has devastatingly lost her baby late in her pregnancy. She had so many challenges concieving ovef the last 5 years (this is her 3rd child), and they performed an emergency c section on Sunday night/Monday morning and her lottle boy did not make it. I was in a bit of a daze on Monday at work after her mom called me, but I am still processingbthe news. I want to bebready to see her when she is ready.

Things have been busy getting back to work and school, and hubby and I are both a bit cranky (well he is a lot cranky lol) because we are quitting smoking. Proud of us still, and I know this will pass. It is fucking so cold here was -24 today outside and our old house just lets it all in. Currently huddled in bed with my son enjoying his cuddles while he sleeps.

Thinking of my girlfriend and my nephew, and how difficult life can be. Xo.

[JazzyS]

A huge congrats to you on passing your exam! A step closer to your goal .

Lovely to hear that your dad is 8 days sober! That is a wonderful amount of time. Each day sover is a blessing. Even a break can turn into a long term thang…just go one day at a time. Great that you two were a able to hang out and work together today.

I missed the Golden Globes but do enjoy Nikki. Didn’t realize she was 12 years sober! How awesome is that

[JazzyS]

Oh I’m so sorry love. That is devastating news. Sending comforting hugs to you and your friend

[Just_Laura]

@Dirk I don’t think it has to do with vision, tho my lenses are getting pretty beat up. The headaches always start at the base of my neck. Dishes, laundry, scrolling here too long Those sorts of things.

693

Stayed inside all day(besides taking some trash out). Another good one. Put a little dent in the living room and kitchen. I usually leave my tree up for all of January bc I love the lighting at night, but I’ve gotta take it down soon in order to really get what I want organized. The closet. Maybe tomorrow. Off to bed soon. Goodnight

[Mno]

2042

Busybusy day yesterday. Had my new job confirmed, rather happy with that. Will start in February, no more rides, getting up almost an hour later, a leisurely ride through the park to get there. Told my current colleagues, made me tear up already . Let’s hope for not too much fuss for my goodbye.

After that I saw a neurologist about my hand. No solution, but at least a serious look at what might be going down. The steroid injection in my wrist may have hit the nerve, it might be infected, although blood test didn’t show that, will do an echo next week for further testing.

And also fought another battle in my ongoing war with the housing corporation that owns the place I rent. A year ago I was promised a new kitchen but somehow they can’t make it happen. They tried to make it my responsibility to contact the company that should do it but that’d be a repeat of step 1 nearly a year ago. Didn’t work. So all I could do now was file a formal complaint. I did.

I’m becoming apt at handling all this sort of shit. Before I got sober and in therapy -and even a good year ago- this would have given me huge stress and anxiety, all this talking over the telephone, having confrontations with doctors and institutions, I would have been totally stressed out. I still don’t like it but I can handle it. Huge gain. Pat on the shoulder for myself.

OK, let’s do today. One day of working, long weekend ahead. Let’s have as good a day as we all can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come from it. And maybe find some beauty in unexpected place, like the pingpong table on the patio at work after a frosty night. Love.

[zzz]

Day 16

Ofcourse Sobriety Champ retained his title… Don’t you know that wrestling is all scripted ?

That’s a nice piece of cake Enjoy Your Day, Team

#TeamBringIt

[Alisa]

Hoping for your hand to be healed from the shot first and then also the original presenting problem, and for your new kitchen to come to be.

And of course for Luna to be well and enjoying her smoothies.

Big Congratulations to you on everything else!

This calmer way of dealing with things has everything to do with you and all the hard work you’ve put in to get there.

Proud of you for all of it. Hoping it just gets better, too.

You’ve given this to yourself.

[Jesile]

Checking in!
Sipping on my first coffee, waiting for my physiotherapy appointment.
Yesterday in the afternoon I did one of my punch bag workouts (I like to call it “an appointment with the best shrink ever”! )
After that, shower, dinner and off to bed relaxed and sober. Slept like a baby!
Work was ok the past days, today my boss is coming back from his holidays, so there’s gonna be a work overload today…
I hope everyone has a good one!

[MrMoustache]

Checking in. 52 AF, 23 weed free. Hello, world! Just woke up, slept 5hrs and feeling a little bit of tired, but coffee always helps. It’s snowing outside, it’s a really beautiful morning. Now that I’ve been sober for some time I’ve been able to save some money, so I bought a new wristwatch. When I actively drank and smoked I was always without money and my diet was poor, but now I’m happy that I can eat proper food without thinking if can afford it. Yesterday’s weed and benzo cravings are history now which is good. I don’t have any spesific plans for today, just gonna hit the groceries, take walks and just chilling with series and movies. I’m also gonna take a nap in some point.

I wish you all a great sober day/evening! We got this, fam! Love ya’ll!