I love the Traitors!! My husband and I watch it whenever a new episode comes on! 
3 Likes
Thanks @Tweed1984
Thank you Naomi 
hello everyone!
Day 5 , feeling rather flat today, stomach is also not my friend; no appetite and feeling quite sickly.
Any tips on settling a stomach? and i know its different for everyone but any ideas when this subsides?
hope everyone has a lovely weekend wherever you are in the world
17 Likes
Hi again everyone.
Day 876.
I just wanted to post to say thanks to you all for your support last week when Iād had that awful day of getting bad health news about suspected cancer and then having to sit through a massive drinking session!
It really helped to vent on here and also have lovely people reply and support, or even just seeing people read and like the post.
Iām so pleased I got through it. Today I had the investigations for cancer (the NHS in the uk gets a lot of bad press but in this instance swung into action quickly) and it all came back clear with no signs of cancer so Iām massively relieved.
I know you all know this, but I look back and think how awful I would have felt throwing away everything Iāve achieved as I felt overwhelmed about something that actually didnāt happen!
Anyway, thanks for being there
J
26 Likes
Quick check in on day 549ā¦suuuper tired 
22 Likes
Checking in on day 449!
Got that dastardly tooth PULLED! It went really well, despite all the complicated things that could have gone wrong with it (previous breakage/filling meant that it could have cracked, but it didnāt. It came out all in one piece! and it was in between two other teeth, that could have been bad too. but those two teeth are fine too!)
The nerve has been damaged since the 16th, so this has been a long time coming. It hurt like hell, but such a relief nonetheless. Iāve got plenty of carnation instant breakfast to drink for the next couple of days. Seems like this past week has been really busy so Iām glad Iāve got this chance over the weekend to relax and heal my jaw.
edit: I forgot another thing I wanted to mention from today. I follow the jail roster and today I saw that one of my exās friends (this is from like, 10 years ago, we arenāt exactly in contact) was arrested for possession of meth. When I knew him he maybe occasionally smoked weed on the way to the flea market. Just sad. It was just crazy to me cause addiction strikes anyone and everyone. Itās just heartbreaking.
24 Likes
Got through another hard day!! Feeling sleepy so Iām gonna go to bed soon. Went to the local peer run mental health clinic. It went really well! Iām in my apartment enjoying some alone time bc I donāt get much of that. This time, itās not a harmful thing for me being alone tonight. Itās actually kind of nice to get some time alone. Tomorrow Iām visiting family, hope it goes well. Good night everyone!
22 Likes
Day 1076
Got some news this afternoon that Im really not happy with. Its renting space in my head and ive spent a good portion of the night thinking about it 
One of our overnight nurses (the full time one) is being replaced by another nurse from a diff agency beginning of March. Eventually our part time nurse and floater nurses will be replaced as well (whenā¦ idk right now). Im fucking tired. Im really trying to be positive about this. Hoping that maybe she/he will be a good fit for our family. But history has shown me otherwise so idkā¦ im feeling a little doubtful. Everytime we go thru changes in nursing for my son, its a battle. An exhausting battle of sleepless nights and tons of advocating. Often times i have to do overnights as well bcuz the nurse they pick is falling asleep and whatnot (which means we donāt want them to be working overnight in our home). This change is about a month away and Im not ready for it. But i cant let this ruin me mentally and emotionally. Like i just cant be stewing over this day in and day out, worried about who will be caring for my son overnight in the future. I am sooo tired. I dont even want to go into work tomorrow bcuz im mentally tired. But i have to. Just needed to vent and get this out of my head. Thanks for reading this looong post lol
29 Likes
Day 1896.2
2nd day after picking-up felt like tha past 5 sober years. Super sharp for work, slept well, got laundry done after work. Planning a long walk in the morning.
Now settling in to watch āOuter Rangeā on Prime.
Overall a solid day.
Stay strong everyone!!
25 Likes
End of day 20. Brain status: still goo. Emotional status: old rickety roller coaster. Got through another craving this afternoon. Itās great to experience because it shows me I can get through it without acting on it. Helps to look at my thoughts and feelings objectively, like a movie running through my head, not fact or reality, and it reaches an end.
Someone in a meeting was talking about how, when she was drinking, sheād take out the trash and stare at all the empty bottles and think wow, thatās all just from ME. I could hugely relateā¦ poisoning myself day in and day out. Couldnāt believe how much I was pouring into me. No more!
Been struggling with loneliness which is so wild because other people stress me out. I think Iāve forgotten how to be around other people. (In person, not yāall cool peeps 
)
Thank you friends for the responses and validations and encouragement. Helps more than you know.
Iām so sorry @Butterflymoonwoman I hope good and dependable nurses find their way to you when the transition time comes 
26 Likes
Going to bed sober. Another day sober.
Glad to be piling up the days.
I can feel the momentum shifting and the good vibes and feelings coming back.
Busy day tomorrow with the kids.
Going to do a little night time reading and then off to bed for an early wake up with the kids.
A sober night to all!
24 Likes
Thank you!
1 Like
Over 1000 days is amazing!!! Congrats on that.
Sorry to hear about what you are going through and your son.
Sorry if you have already shared previously. Or if you are not comfortable sharing then you donāt need to. I was just curious about what your son is dealing with and the treatment he is getting?
Again if you are not comfortable sharing, please donāt feel obliged to.
Iāve got two children and it would break my heart if anything were to happen to them. Sometimes I take things for granted.
I wish you well and I hope you are able to get the nurse situation all sorted out.
Sending good positive vibes your way and congrats again on passing 1000 days sober. A milestone I hope to get to some day. You are an inspiration to many.
6 Likes
I am hoping you get some good help this time!
Projecting the future and worrying about it now is exhausting. I know itās hard, but hang in there and try to take it one day at a time.
2 Likes
@kareness Awe thanks friend. this was a sweet link to share. I do love Christina Iām just having a hard time adjusting and what having one would mean (already feeling less useful and that may just add on that feeling).
@butterflymoonwoman Thanks friend. It really did help opening up and explaining what I have been dealing with. I too donāt know if she truly understands but I am grateful for the effort in trying. Grateful for this community as here we are understood and greatly supported. UGH!!! I so want to strangle whoever is running this company and is in charge. I am so very sorry for this news and I do hope the vent helped. I know how frustrating this all is and I wish you had other options. You are right to not let this sit and fester, especially since the change over is a month away. You will make yourself sick. I am so very sorry Dana. Here to listen and support in whatever way I can. Hope you are able to get some sleep tonight 
@handoferis OMG that is so frustrating and annoying. I canāt believe that they were out of the proper needles and that now you have to reschedule. I am so sorry for the pain that your wife will have to continue to endure. So sorry friend. Glad that she will be able to get shot in a couple of weeks. Hope you had a good day at the dentist today Glad all went smoothly at dentist.
@sober26 I was always told to get rid of the water that the rice is rinsed / soaked in as this helps get rid of the starchiness ā this is what causes the gumminess or sticky bits in the rice. I like the idea of trying to make fried rice with the leftovers. You could also make rice pudding 
Hope that turns out well. Oh i see rice pudding was also mentioned ā something to think about if this happens againā¦ glad you will not let this keep you form cooking again
@onthewagon31 Great to see you checking in again Nate. Congrats on your timers! Glad you are feeling good and keep working your recovery
@sunshine-girl 92 days is wonderful Julia. I am sorry for all the life stresses. I know you have to deal with this place for some years till its feasible to move again. Hope you are able to find ways to enjoy your surroundings for the time being. So grateful that you are not thinking about drinking. Keep putting in that amazing effort my friend ā you are crushing it
@canadiangirl OOH man that is a rough plumbing issue to deal with. Glad you did not allow the anger to get to you. Hopeful that it is resolved when you get home. Tomorrow is 1 month
@deelzebub WOOHOO 600 days is awesome! Way to go friend. OOH a ed alert storm? Sounds serious. Hope you were able to tend to the leak and stay cozy and safe indoors. Coffee is always a welcome comfort
@mossy It is your journey so whatever day / time you feel comfortable with will be your start time. Congrats on your journey 
@tragicfarinelli That number looks pretty cool ā 393 Glad you did not let the depression take holdā¦ this shows strength. Glad to see you back with us friend. Look forward to your posts
7 Likes
@chevy55 Oh man iām sorry for all that your mom is having to deal with. Grateful she had your home to retreat to. Not much else you can do but offer a safe space for her if she so chooses. Be well friend
@love happy birthday to your hubby. Good to see you posting again and congrats on your day. Drinking takes a lot from us and does nothing to help our looks. Keep working your recovery friend ā the sobriety will show great benefits with time
@ebenjansen great work on 2 weeks no smoking. Wishing you luck with your journey to quit vaping soon too
@mybeautifullife Welcome to the community. So sorry for the drawn out relapse. Addiction really can have a strong hold on us. Community really helps us on the journey as we are unable to do this alone. Day 2 and going strong Glad you are here with us!
@betu Grateful that you are 22 days strong and have done a bulk of the detox (the physical part is behind you and now just the mental attachments my linger). I am glad that you are aware of the upcoming triggers and temptations and will be super vigilant to protect your sobriety. Make sure to have plenty of non alcoholic options on hand so you always have something to drink and do not feel left out. I would also have an escape plan (like go for a walk, retreat to a bedroom for a bit, check in here or read other threads etc when you feel overwhelmed). You can make it through these gatherings and will do so sober so you will remember them with fondness and clarity. We will be here with you
@teacosy grateful you noticed the urges and possibility for a slip and therefore checked in here. Not running and staying off of the forum could be the cause for the cravings to gain strengthā¦ when i get off of my daily routines i find it is harder to ward off my addict mind and thoughts. Stay strong and vigilant my friend.
@dustysprungfield Way to go on not listening to them tricky voices ā Another weekend sober ā i am going to go through this together
You did not let the relapse become a full blown bender and I am so grateful that you are back at it with 3+ weeks under your belt. Many milestones to reach ā some may feel like another day but do know that each day is a win and should be proud of yourself for it. Super proud of you and happy to see you back posting and stacking up the days
Best way to handle this. So sorry for your rock bottom. Do not let it define you ā you can push forward with love and support ā this community will have both for you. Wishing you luck with the journey.
Grateful you are not letting those thoughts get to you. Grateful you are staying mindful of why you are sober and not going to go back.
12 Likes
Never! Love this whole post I was just 4.5 months sober when I relapsed and went back out for 3 years (I gave up trying after a year or so of failing). I told myself if I could quit again, itād be the last time. A relapse now would be a death sentence. No doubt in my mind.
709
Ugh, idk whatās going on with me. Zero motivation for most of the day and an overall feeling of blah. I did do the dishes while cooking dinner, but that was about it. I have a work meeting tomorrow morning. Why so early on a Saturday? No idea. Canāt wait for it to be over already 
Maybe thatās my problem tho. I havenāt had much socializing in weeks. I do love my alone time, but maybe itās been too long Making me feel like a hermit. Idk. Iām tired. Hope I can fall asleep earlier. Have a good weekend everyone
18 Likes
@brian1965uk A much better vice and i know a little sweet something is necessary from time to time. 800+ days is awesome
@mrmoustache Thanks for checking in and letting us know ā you are back and working on day 1 ā keep at it friend You had some great sober time and I know you will get it back and then some ODAAT! Hope you are able to flush out the toxins and start feeling better
NICE ā way to find a way to work through the urges Have fun with your coffee time tomorrow
Same! No wonder we gravitate towards eachother 
@hollyy Sorry for the sickly feeling. Some hot water with lemon or ginger or both help me settle my stomach. Soup (just the broth also is helpful). Hang in there ā usually first week is the worst. If it stays persistent after that then please see a doctor. 5 days is amazing work
@jamesb85 So grateful you did not give into the drinking thoughts. Grateful that the vent and support helped and so very grateful that you are clear! Fantastic news. Keep stacking up the days
@jules000 So glad that you went to the mental health clinic. Glad you are feeling well at home in your own space.
Checking in on Friday night
765 days free of alcohol and weed
1180 days free of cigarettes
WOW ā this thread is on fire! I love it. I am grateful to finally be able to catch up. Been a okish day. Did get some stuff accomplished this morning with little sleep and some coffee so that was good. Tried to rest this afternoon with no success. Not feeling tired so hopefully I will get some sleep tonight. Not much going on for tomorrow. Play it by ear.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening ā sending you all so much love
22 Likes
420 days
Better day today. Thanks @acromouse and others earlier for the support. Got on the assault bike and then did my rehab exercises whike the kids trained. Not the same as training but did improve my mood. Also had some laughs with a couple of the guys, watched some of the sparring last week and there were a few new guys at the gym going hard. Always interesting how each person deals with that.
Got a bunch of cleaning done and mowed the lawns, probably a bit much tbh haha my leg is starting to feel it this evening.
Work tomorrow so needed to give my back and leg a test.
@Naomi @GVLNative @mybeautifullife @MrMoustache stoked you guys have found your way back and out of the shit.
Keep moving foward with all you have learned. And thanks for sharing so that we can all learn.
22 Likes