Therapy was good yesterday. I really can talk about all to her. Which is really great. Helps me so much in letting me see people can be trusted. At least sometimes. I trust her. And by now I’m well enough to not see her for the coming six weeks too. Talked to the coordinator from my new job, it seems I will be able to keep doing my experience work as well as my nursing on a 50/50 basis like I already was doing. Which is great too.
I’m taking it easy this weekend. Still very wet outside, so not feeling like doing to do much outside. Hoping for tomorrow for that. House chores. Cook. Read. Contact a friend. Cuddle with Luna. Let’s all have as good a weekend as we all can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come from it. Pic is from outside my therapist’s place yesterday. A first small reminder for me that winter will end. Love.
Hi, lovely people, first day back on here after i proved to myself (for what is hopefully the last time) that im an alcoholic, my life is unmanageable, and I absolutly love the person I am when im sober. Not only do I need to quit for all the spiritual, social, economic, and functional reasons, but i just finished 9 months of cancer treatment and my health has to be my main priority.
Planning for 90 meetings in 90 days, reading the quit lit, and checking in on here. Thanks to everyone for sharing and supporting
I can’t even remember anymore when the first time was that I started to try and stop drinking, but it must have honestly been over ten years ago. I never used to get past one day at first, ever. Then I strung along some three days… Then back to nothing at all just drinking everyday. Throw in some coke at the weekends which allowed me to drink more. This sobriety gift has taken me a very very long time to work hard towards, so I think the rewards now can’t be misunderstood or ignored. Time hop helps, I get to see the overall wretchedness in my sad bloated face.
I know that I felt desperate to quit for a few years before I actually did, but I wasn’t actually doing anything different to stop myself from drinking. I joined here one week after I finally put my foot down(after some terrible event), bc I was white knuckling and had no idea where to go from there. Godsend But just when my life was going the best it’d ever gone, covid was like “Nah.” It was so much worse knowing how good it was and having all the tools, but incapable of executing it. In a way, suffering that much more was the necessary evil that helped me quit again. I HATED alcohol more than anything, but still couldn’t go without it. Until one day, it just clicked. Since then, the thought of drinking repulses me so much I feel physically ill, and I pray that never changes
Checking in.
I feel like having a weekend where I don’t need to do anything, but got some things planned so need to mentally prepare for it. Going to see a friend for lunch today. Most times I don’t feel like it, it is actually very nice when I’m there. Tomorrow going to help another friend with placing a new floor in her home. And on Monday my car needs to go to the garage.
I think overall I am doing pretty well. Mostly the urges come when I’m done with work and on my way home. Also last week was a week full of meetings as my work is going to change a lot, and I had to stand up for myself as I am probably changing locations and function which can have influence on my salary and other secundairy working conditions. Apparently sticking up for myself triggers me, and stresses me out. But I did it anyway and now it seems it will be a positive change, so waiting for the new contract now and probably 2 more meetings next week…
It’s raining a lot here now so my big horse is struggling a lot. Only 7 weeks more for him and then he’ll go to France. I hope with all my heart he will absolutely love it there. It’s so difficult to see him struggling.
Going to muck out and feed them now, and then off to my friend. Have a nice day everyone and stay sober
Oh I’m happy to hear that. I know we have to adjust sometimes to allow for parts of us to heal but it’s good to find other things that can help keep our spirits up.
Good luck with getting back to work tomorrow
Welcome back Sarah. 90 in 90 is a great plan and having this community in your back pocket will also be an added level of support.
Hope you are on the mend after your treatments. I’m sure your body feels like it’s been out through the ringer. You are doing great by flushing out all the toxins and making a healthier environment for yourself. We are here to support you on your journey. Remember to be gentle with yourself and take it one moment at a time
Finally did it and joined the gym. It’s been about 15 years since I set foot in the gym. Round about the time alcohol really took hold to be honest. I forgot how much I love the environment and feeling of purpose once you walk in the door. Blasting my favourite hard rock tunes loud enough to make me deaf and getting in the zone for that hour. Plus I have paid for it so I better go and bloody well love it.
I might be older, fatter, wobblier and slower but the feelings were still the same
@Lastry Nice to hear you are still enjoying the gym atmosphere. What are your favourite exercises? @Marit Great job on standing up for yourself. Not everybody enjoys doing that, I totally get being stressed out. @SarahBear Welcome back Sarah Sounds like you are doing the work. We are here for you no matter what. Share your journey, use all the support you can. @MrFantastik Great to hear your mood improved @Catmama23 I get you on the loneliness vs people stressing me out. When I’m in that place I attend online meetings. The layer of seperation with the technology helps me deal with my emotions and at the same time I get some people time. @GVLNative Glad to hear you are getting back into the sober life. @Butterflymoonwoman I am sorry for the stress and burdens that are put on you. I also remembeir you saying how you need to stay consistent with prayer and giving your worries to your HP. I know how debilitating it can be to worry about our children. But might turning your worries to your HP help right now? @Jules000 It is so good to see how much progress you have made on your journey. Being able to stay by yourself at night without being in danger of hurting yourself, that is huge @handoferis Glad to hear your dentist’s appointment went well. Sending healing vibes your way
430 sugar
294 UPF
168 gluten/dairy
Started this rather gray day with my morning meeting. It’s such a wonderful community.
I took a hint from @Mno and turned on my light therapy box. With this ammount of natural light right now I feel like a small animal in a dark hole.
Today is going to be about taking care of tools, plants, my flat, and stuff. Also I want to dive into some new and interesting topics, read and play games. Some Yoga in the afternoon.
Today’s picture are some more silly gnomes found on a hike.
My friend arrives a bit later. Looking forward to that. Skipped body combat as I’m super sniffled up and on flu tablets. I WILL BEAT THIS. I will drop a litre of vitamin c and electrolytes in the build up to my social visit, just to be certain. I don’t get colds, and haven’t felt this ill since I had COVID in 2022!! That was a sad and sorry case of me trying to run away from my throat every few seconds and crying in pain. Gross. And it lasted the whole 15 days of being COVID +
Anyway, enough about my stuffy cotton filled head.
Again i was awake about 5 hours after going to bed. Woke up after 12 o clock. Again feeling quite nothing. It’s a bit warmer outside, -10 C (14 F) so i am going to make longer walks with my dog.
Good Morning 30 Days.
I wish I could say this has been easy but it hasn’t. This has been 30 days filled with more sleepless nights than restful ones . This has been 30 days filled with lots of highs and lows. It’s been filled with many extreme emotions often hard to navigate. There have been days I’ve honestly felt like I had 2 different people living inside me fighting each other . One wanted me to just go get numb while the other fought to stay sober and so far that one has won. But it’s also been 30 days with no hangovers. It’s been 30 days of not making a complete ass of myself . It’s been 30 days towards better health. It’s been 30 days of figuring out who I might actually be . So here I am 30 days sober and continuing to fight for more sober days .
Amazing! Awesome achievement. I know that internal fight all too well. You stayed strong and resisted the temptation. Keep up that great work; keep up the fight, my fellow Canadian!
Previously I would always get rid of the water the rice soaked in and use new water to boil and then put the rice in there, but this time I read it in the recipe that they noted for more tastier rice to reuse the water that the rice soaked in to boil it as well.
I should have done as the previous times and not used that same water.
I had my son and daughter helping out too, and my son had looked at me when I was doing that part and said dad I don’t think this is a good idea. lol
That was likely my mistake as this rice is just tastes extra starchy and salty, almost to the point of being not edible. It has to be because of what was soaked out of the rice, then went right back into it when boiling.
I won’t let this deter me from cooking, but my wife on the other hand…she might not allow me back in the kitchen after this disaster. lol
@MrMoustache , drat man I’m so sorry to hear of your relapse, but I am so glad you have stuck around. I enjoy you! You can do this, I know you can and I’m pulling hard for you!!
My mom made it home after her two day visit here was shortened to one day due to her drunk husband. She got home and laid into him and sent him packing to his daughters (as I told her he is not her prison sentence, if he can’t change he has a daughter that can take care of him). They got back together after his alcoholism became a huge issue and they separated, getting back together only on the pretense of his sobriety. But she is an enabler and fell for his stories of woe and allowed drinks to slip back in… and here she is. I feel so sorry for her as she carries tremendous guilt around her. She loves being with me as she said of her three children I am the only one that has a care free attitude and doesn’t let things get to me. At least as far as she knows, haha. But I am mostly chill and live and let live. People are free to make their own choices and live with the repercussions of them, that is not my worry at all.
Anyway, hopefully it works out and she knows that she always has a beautiful home on the ocean to come too if she wishes.
Today?? Hmm, let me think well it was a heavy lift day for biceps and triceps yesterday so today will be a heavy lift day of chest and back… then tomorrow heavy legs day… I love this life
I hope you are all able to get out and improve your lot, even a fraction. Shoot for 1% better today than yesterday… it adds up very quickly!
But just when my life was going the best it’d ever gone, covid was like “Nah.” It was so much worse knowing how good it was and having all the tools, but incapable of executing it. In a way, suffering that much more was the necessary evil that helped me quit again. I HATED alcohol more than anything, but still couldn’t go without it. Until one day, it just clicked. Since then, the thought of drinking repulses me so much I feel physically ill, and I pray that never changes 
Sounds like you are doing the work. We are here for you no matter what. Share your journey, use all the support you can.
well it was a heavy lift day for biceps and triceps yesterday so today will be a heavy lift day of chest and back… then tomorrow heavy legs day… I love this life 
