@Juli1 the world comes up with all kinds of messed up ways to destroy us. It tries to destroy our spirit like with what they did to you by giving you a false image of yourself and then once you’re sad and vulnerable enough because of them, they make alcohol and drugs and all manner of poisons available to sooth the pain they cause. But don’t let them get to you friend. You’re here with all the people who understand you and don’t want to break you. We’re all here because we refuse to let the world do that to us any longer. Aside from this addiction, I had bulimia and body image problems my entire life. I know where you’re coming from and I’m hoping that we both can overcome all of this. Sending you hope and good vibes, hang in there
You still need to practice self-care. Is there anyone you trust to watch your kids, even for an hour or two? Take a walk, find a quiet cafe or restaurant where you can journal and regain your equilibrium, even take a nap while someone else is caring for your kids. You need to put on your oxygen mask before putting on theirs. If that’s a strained metaphor, I’m sorry. Be kind to yourself.
If I had any whiskey in the house, I would be white-knuckling my sobriety. If you can, get rid of any alcohol in your house. As long as it’s there, you have an constant threat. We can still relapse if we don’t have alcohol at home, but it takes extra steps that allow time to think through the decision.
Glad you are here. Check in often. You will find this is a supportive, friendly, knowledgeable community.
I’m sorry you are so sad, Soli, but it’s not endless. With my own depression, which can be severe, I have found that if I’m in a space where I am constantly down, sad, and depressed, but I know why, then my sadness is a valid emotion that I can work on. When I am sad and depressed for no clear reason, that’s when I go to my doctor or therapist for help. The meds I have been on the last two weeks have been a lifesaver for me. But that’s my experience.
We’re here for you. As long as you’re sober, you can do anything.
Day 3 and I’m up. Got kids to school, but I’m back in bed. Part of me wants to go back to sleep, I’m still kinda tired. Then part of me is like DO NOT WASTE YOUR DAY!! GET UP! Get things done, there’s only so many hours in a day, but… sleep sounds so NICE.
Need to get an alternative beverage in the house. I don’t want to start drinking soda, lord only knows it’s not the best alternative since I’m overweight, but water is not cutting it. I’ll have to figure something out. BF drinks everyday, has cut back which is awesome, but it was a little hard last night not to join him. I didn’t though, drank his Mt Dew instead.
Thank you so much for the comforting words. I am sorry that you too have depression. I pray that it will get better for you
You know, being sober and having to sit with all of this is kind of eye opening. I feel like I’ve been sweeping everything under a rug and now it’s time to clean it up. I don’t want to drink. It won’t help now. Nothing really does but at least I can say that I haven’t let it beat me, right? I’m winning this fight at least. The feelings I think will get better. Once I can leave the house again and go back to my climbing gym and just dilute this sadness with a healthy dose of the mundane. Life’s not forever and neither is sadness, right? It’s not about addiction, it never was. It’s about this. Addiction is just band aid for the soul and mine feels raw-still waiting for the scab. Tomorrow will be a better day, I can wait. I heard someone say “as long as you can still fog a mirror, you know you can make it.” Sorry about the rant, I’m sure I’ll regret it in a couple hours my apologies
Quick check in on day 24… I am totally going to have to catch up in a bit. Love how active we are here Morning meeting got rudely interrupted by my dogs and it kind of threw me. I’m still going to have a good day. Actually beautiful outside here today. Think I’ll enjoy some nature before we go back to freezing lol . 🩷
Checking in 69 days sober.
It’s grey and pouring rain today which isn’t going to help me with my mood much. On a positive note it may melt away what’s left of the snow . Almost 4 hours into my shift and it’s been a challenging & anxiety inducing morning and I can’t wait to just go home but have 6 more hours to go. Hoping to do some painting or something after dinner tonight to help me chill the hell out. Hope you are all having good sober days .
Checking in day 913, and officially and a half years sober Words can’t deceive how different my life is now from when I got sober. I struggled with an hour, a day, a week, and month… now I get to live a life I couldn’t have dreamed of. I hope that anyone, new or old, in this journey is able to push through the hard times to get to the best ones.
335 days sober
Whew I’ve been busy and tired out when getting home! So far all is going well with the volunteers and the training they are giving. And I am also learning a lot. I’m SO glad I hired a 2nd translator. I am really liking this group of volunteers…they are all very friendly and easy going. I feel comfortable talking with them and having fhem around.
Tonight I had them all over for dinner and spent some time to get to know them a bit better. It was really encouraging for me to hear some of their stories and am going ti encourage them to have some times to share in our meetings with the locals.
Am hoping to get in my morning run or hike tomorrow. Need to get myself going a bit earlier than normal!
my apologies 
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. Almost 4 hours into my shift and it’s been a challenging & anxiety inducing morning and I can’t wait to just go home but have 6 more hours to go. Hoping to do some painting or something after dinner tonight to help me chill the hell out. Hope you are all having good sober days .
and a half years sober 