I have a cold and had a drinking dream last night so feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Work stress but I’m dealing with that ok so far. I have a big annual celebration coming up which I went to sober last year and it just sucked. Am debating trying to ditch it rather than go this year, but that feels like quitting. It’s something I used to really enjoy and was a reward for a year of hard work. I’m struggling to work out how to reward myself without alcohol (which I know is not a reward, stupid brain).
I have so much to be thankful for, I will not lose sight
Morning check in 27. Slept okay, but constantly waking up before going back to sleep. Plan to work from home today, but my wife keeps changing that plan. So, I’ll get some work done, then we’ll go get bird seed. Not much else on the agenda today. Some reading, sober reflection/meditation.
Stay the course, sober buddies.
Morning check in 1124
Woke up bright and early to get my son on the bus. Now just getting ready to head to the gym. Have to stop by the pharmacy for my new medication and then off to get some new glasses. Busy day but love that its productive. Hoping for all goos things today! Did my prayer this morning so its already off to a good start Have a great day everyone!
Thank you @Noshame for the encouragement. I’m definitely using nic patches but also lozenges when the cravings are tougher. I guess I’m breaking the mental habit in this part of the process and will tackle the physical aspect in steps slowly. Have a great day!
Day 1,734 clean and sober today, day 2 no cigarettes or vaping. It is raining pretty hard this morning and I loved that I woke up to the sound of it this morning. Have a wonderful day today, love you guys!
i had a day where i was majorly activated, but I didn’t crave. the activation made me feel like i was losing my mind, and when I took a moment to look at the emotions, instead of staying in a space of reaction, self-righteousness, I realized I was really sad, and so I rode the waves of grief and tears. The release was immense. I came out on the other side renewed. I recently decided to commit to create more art pieces, and opened a second social media account dedicated to art. excited about this, and I feel that the act of cutting paper, glueing, conceptualizing, gathering, imagining, is helping me heal, and in important ways since making art challenges cognitive distortions, old narratives, limited ideas about who I am, what I can do, fears, shame, countering judgement in a positive way, and living on my own terms. Mostly, regulating my nervous system by focusing on tiny objects, and working fine motor skills.
My sleep is still difficult, and I wake up a million times, but I’m also still under 30 days. I think a month is good progress with weed and I can look forward to evening out.
Hi all day 25.
Photo taken last night from Marske looking out over a moody North sea.
We sat in the car and watched the weather unfold.
Mixed news yesterday scan wise but nothing we cant handle or havnt already been through. We were hoping to get a little bit of a break but sadly not just yet.
We remain positive and heres a nice positive photo
Checking in. Feeling lost and sad today, only 3 more days with my horse here and it hits me everyday a little harder. Despite those feelings I feel I can handle these emotions even though normally I would run from them. It’s okay. This is life. It’s sadness because I am losing something. That deserves recognition!
So yeah, I’m okay sobriety is absolutely not in danger.
Checking in! • Day 117
My day was ok, I’ve gotten quite some work done! It’s currently raining, and the forecast for the next 3 days isn’t much better.
So I’m close to my 4 month mark, and I’ve started to realize that I’ve become a bit obsessive with cleaning and having everything organized and “perfect” at home. I’m not sure if anybody else can relate??
I can never truly relax, there’s always a kind of restlessness inside of me. Whenever I sit down after 2 secs I’m like “I need to get up and wash the dishes”, and after that I see some crumbs on the floor and need to clean that up, and then I decide to put on a washing machine, and so on… it never stops!
Anyway, I guess I’m just ranting…
At least I’m sober!!
Took me 5 years after my DUI too feel confident enough, that I wouldn’t drink and drive, to get my license back. Could’ve had it back in 6 months but, I knew better. That was over a decade ago.
I am always like this. I found out I have ADHD in addition to my bipolar way late in life. I had no idea. There are a lot of different things. I found earbuds with the same playlist helps me settle. I just leave one in when I’m not trying to “block” out the world. It made a difference to the point I was rambling and restless and my ol man went searching for my earbuds cause I was driving him nuts. Now I’m rambling lol. Not saying this is your issue, but I know it helps others whether or not they are ADHD/ADD 🩷
Hmmm, interesting! Not sure if this is my case, but I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Probably it also has to do with the fact that I have more time now that I don’t waste it sitting out on my terrace every afternoon after work for 2-3 hours sipping on poison!
Have a great day everyone!
sobriety is absolutely not in danger.
• Day 117
