I’m forgetting the day count and don’t wanna limit my check ins because of it. My time awareness sucks. I never know what day it is nor what time it is. Even rough guesses are usually far off of the actual time and date (Dissociative disorder and perhaps partially because of addictions, too).
That being said, I am struggling but I am alive and that counts for something. I am able to keep going and that counts for something. I thought I wouldn’t reach 18. I am 31 now. 32 in April. I am both amazed as well as a bit melancholic about it all. But I am here. I am alive. I just need to start living now.
Just wanted to swing by and say thank you for all your kind/compassionate advice. Especially when we are struggling. Just wanted you to know your awesome
That’s so nice. I’m glad I helped, but we’re here for each other. During my first days getting sober, you and many others were there for me. Helping others when we can is part of what helps keep us sober.
Checking in on day 68.
Hugs to you all who are struggling. I’m currently feeling pretty down and out right now. Life here at home is pretty crappy with the way my personal relationship is going and every time I turn on the TV I’m reminded the world has gone to shit . At least I’m sober though but I gotta try to not let my mood affect my participation here. I cant allow myself to be swallowed up by a self pity party and risk my sobriety. Stay safe and sober everyone.
So sorry life at home (and in the world) sucks, Tisha. But you need to stay sober. As the world goes to hell, all of us in the US are coming to stay at your house.
Second check in, made it through day 2. Avoided the store just in case it was too much for me. Did some meditation and mindfulness. Focused on a couple of tools from Smart. Very tired today, but oh how I welcome sobriety tired than hung over tired. Sobriety tired means good things are coming.
Have good night/day all.
@Catmama23 I just wanted to show you this. For a very, very long time after my relapse, the counter was my nemesis. So much so, it was painful to open the app knowing I’d have to reset again and that ended up being part of the reason I left in the first place (which was not a fun time at all).
These are just my resets for 4 months after my relapse (there’s alot more), and my average stretch is only 10 days That’s crazy to me! But none of that matters now. I got where I am bc I didn’t give up in the end. Keep coming back
(I wrote this before seeing your last post. Glad you’re here and doing okay )
Day 1115
Wasnt a bad day but couldve been more productive. I once again struggled with my eating tho. Im getting really tired and frustrated with my health. I dont understand… Ive quit smoking cigarettes, Ive quit drugs and alcohol, why cant i quit my poor eating habits/binging (which in my opinion is almost a form of self harm). This morning i definitly had a binge eating episode which I dont think Ive experienced in some time. I ate ALL my daily calories for the day in 1 sitting!! How awful is that?! Seems like even though Ive been clean and sober for over 3 years, I am still engaging in unhealthy behaviours with my poor relationship with food. Im going to keep at it tho. Tmrw is a new day!
Other than that, the day was okay. Looking forward to making some positive changes tmrw
@Butterflymoonwoman Sorry to hear you are struggling with your eating. You might want to join us in our Binge Eating Recovery thread to share with like minded members struggling with similar issues. @Jeanine Good job on avoiding triggering places and doing your recovery work @1in8billion Congrats on the new job. Courious what you‘ll share with us in the future. @sober26 Great job making a month! Glad to hear sobriety is doing you good. @CanadianGirl You are right on it girl, self pity is a dangerous one. I am sorry to hear you are in a difficult place right now. Can you do something nice for yourself in terms of self care? Or maybe a meeting to spend some time - online is also an option - with like minded individuals? @aMaverickSoul Glad to hear you are holding on despite your struggles. Do you have a support network to reach out to in these difficult times? Friends, professionals, a recovery community? It‘s always a good idea to connect and not isolate
467 sugar
331 UPF
205 gluten/dairy
Slept almost through the whole night. Such a great feeling. Now I‘m awake early and can do an early check-in before my meeting.
I made good progress on my current prototyping phase and am going to continue in that direction today. I also want to call the schools social services to find out how we can support our daughter who has been ill and absent from school for several months now.
All kinds of stuff to be done in the afternoon and rowing exercises as part of my recovery.
Today‘s picture is a swallow‘s nest I found some summer.
The start of just a two day working week, two days of experience work ahead. Glad I got out yesterday and rode my bike. Beautiful sunshine. There’s plenty more of that to come in the coming days. Spring’s making an early start. Yay!
Let’s all have as good a day as we all can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from my ride.
You know when you’ve been sick for a while but you don’t realize how sick you were until you feel better? Damn! It was longer than I thought At first I thought I was just tired and sore, but it got worse everyday. It felt like something was slowly eating away at my joints. And I know how that sounds, but it’s the only way I can describe it. Ah well, glad that’s over I think living in the chronic state of hangover for so long has made it so I don’t realize how bad I feel sometimes. Like, I’m able to push thru discomfort bc I’m used to it Idk if that’s a good thing or a bad thing
My major plan for the day was taking my new cat to the vet for a pre-spay checkup. I got everything ready, then layed down to make sure I’d have enough energy. When I got up, I had a message saying they needed to reschedule bc the vet was sick We already waited 3 weeks for this appt and I planned to schedule her spay today. Now it’s gonna be even longer! I don’t wanna go thru another one of her heat cycles Oh…the things I cannot change
433 alcohol free
150 THC free
And…23 days vape free!
Nobody tell my kittens that they have the vet in two hours time Annual check up, booster jabs and weight check etc. Now starts the task of manipulating the flat into a catch zone. I really miss the days that I could put them anywhere and they would just go. Nowadays, they are feral with the cat carriers and seem to sense it before I even move the things. It’s like trying to herd cats. Wait.
I really want to get a good gym session in after that and work on some job applications later. Trying to swing back into a routine a little bit.
Day 400 AF
Day 11 no unnecessary triggered shopping
Yeah what a cool number
Doing good but so not okay with my body. I need to work on all that. On another level then dieting. I know that. Maybe that is the only big big trouble in life i can always cause on myself. I can create drama about that. On demand! Seems my neurological system is still used to it.
Drinking alcohol there was always drama.
Drama drinking.
Drama trying not to drink.
Drama being drunken.
Drama being always on hangover.
Drama buying stuff and disposal
Drama of shame
Drama with unhealthy additional behavior such as nonsense sex, eating (too much or nothing, drama, drama, drama)
I’m awake, I’m sober, I’m alive. Just got back from walking the dog and feeling a bit better today. Still in a bit of a rut, but getting over it. There’s also a whole bunch of things to do today, so that helps.
Onwards and upwards, my friends!
As a complete side-note, has anyone been following MAFS AU this year? This entire season is completely and utterly insane.
to you all who are struggling. I’m currently feeling pretty down and out right now. Life here at home is pretty crappy with the way my personal relationship is going and every time I turn on the TV I’m reminded the world has gone to shit 
. At least I’m sober though but I gotta try to not let my mood affect my participation here. I cant allow myself to be swallowed up by a self pity party and risk my sobriety. Stay safe and sober everyone.
you should feel proud of that!
That’s crazy to me! But none of that matters now. I got where I am bc I didn’t give up in the end. Keep coming back 
)
Glad to hear sobriety is doing you good.
At first I thought I was just tired and sore, but it got worse everyday. It felt like something was slowly eating away at my joints. And I know how that sounds, but it’s the only way I can describe it. Ah well, glad that’s over 
Idk if that’s a good thing or a bad thing 
We already waited 3 weeks for this appt and I planned to schedule her spay today. Now it’s gonna be even longer! I don’t wanna go thru another one of her heat cycles 
Oh…the things I cannot change 
