I found the weed one of the hardest things to quit tbh - you’re doing great to stay off it this long
Be sure and find other things to fill in, like creative hobbies to stave off boredom (for me I found the days were soooo long after I stopped smoking) and also take care of your MH (SMART recovery have some great tools) otherwise it can be easy to backslide - might be different for you ofc - but I found that to stay stopped, you have to figure out why you were using in the first place and fix it - otherwise when life gets tough, that’s the only way you have to deal with it yknow?
I understand. Thanks for the reply. I have just started going to aa and had my first meeting so very new. Not sure im strong enough to truly help others just yet. Unfortunately suffer from bad anxiety and depression and my drunken rant that i dont fully remember could end up causing me the best parts of my life when it fully comes out. I feel so much self loathing because if that happens i will only have my self to blame and will have destroyed it myself.. I wish like im sure most do here that addiction wasnt a part of me. Its so insanely self destructive.
Checking in on day 664. Ive fallen asleep before managing to write out a check in the last few days, so a morning check in it is today
Sending hugs to those feeling not so great. You’re here and that is amazing-YOU are amazing! Keep showing up for yourself and it can only get better
Have a good Tuesday all
2nd check-in. I just had an appointment with my doctor. It went well and I just burst into tears and let everything out. They’re gonna keep me here at the psych ward, but I don’t know how long. I’m just too depressed and suicidal to go home yet, so they wanna monitor me. They are also changing my meds, so let’s see what’s gonna happen. But at least I’m safe.
@Hazy thank you! That’s really cool about Marilyn. @JazzyS I appreciated your share about 444’s meaning.
I went to bed too early and was up at 230! Sober, it’s all workable without the hangover factor. Six hours works. Sober. Using the time to read and exercise a bit. I’m losing some weight and feeling better physically. My goal is a hike up Santa Fe Baldy mountain in July. Now that might mean just one segment but that’s ok! The elevation change is pretty intense. But one day I will ski at Santa Fe. Maybe this winter. But they have things like snowshoes too.. yes!
I’ll see what important people I will fail to recognize at work today..hahaha. I love being new- you can get away with that. Then you seem relaxed and genuine as opposed to nervous. Ignorance is bliss.
I still get a twinge when I automatically wake up dreading work, then I remember I’m not at my last job and don’t dread my new one! It was a nightmare at the end. This is all different and I can re-wire my brain to see things differently. I wanted something totally different and got it. Sobriety made that choice for me. I don’t care about the things or people I used to. It all looks fresh with clear eyes. I was trapped once. This is freedom.
Checking in on Day 11. Woke up super early for no reason so I’m already ready for a nap. Must… keep… moving:squinting_face_with_tongue: Time for more coffee.
Wow! That’s a lot of stuff. I’m super excited for you. Look forward to seeing pictures . Hope you are feeling less anxious today. Sending hugs @madds keeping them fingers crossed for you. Durr you will hear back soon. Hope you have a wonderful day @Butterflymoonwoman dang it! I am mad for you. I’m sorry that you had to do the overnight. Sending oodles of energy your way. Hope you have a wonderful time with your family today @sobernow great work on your 1 month. Keep stacking up the days. It does get easier @MrMoustache sorry you are feeling this way. The rollercoaster can be a lot. You are in a safe space. Maybe talk with someone to help take away the power of these feelings. Congrats on your double digits AF!! Good to read your update. @NewDay1990 great work on day 3. The withdrawal symptoms can be a bear but the emotional attachment to our addiction takes longer to overcome. This is where making new routines, finding support and tools for your recovery come into play. You are here and in day 3…be proud of yourself. You will breakthrough the cycle and find the freedom that sobriety has to offer . One moment at a time
That’s awesome and totally something to be proud of. Early days of my sobriety I was just happy to have accomplished staying sober. All else could wait. Even now I find some days when life gets overwhelming to go back to that and know I didn’t go back to old habits. I am remained sober and that’s what matters. Good luck with social media detox. It really does have a way to suck you in with “one more reel” or story
Checking in on Tuesday morning
I am glad the day had started and I can move about making noise. Was a hard night sleep (or whatever you wanna call it cause it wasn’t sleep). Pounding headache, pain flare ups and hot cold sweats. Feeling more human now. Must be the demons leaving my body.
Enjoying a slice of blueberry pie with coffee. Not usually my way to start the day but hey it was the last one left
A dark cold day today. Gonna make the most of it.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
Day 2 no binge-eating (well technically day 1.5 since I reset it at night but oh well )
Day 76 no vaping
I’m learning a lot about myself through this process and one thing that I noticed? I do best when I’m in therapy. My therapist of 20 years retired in 2023. Cue me having one of the worst years of my life in 2024, full of stress and multiple ER trips. I’m going to look for a new therapist. I think it’s the right step.
I say this because I have a history of disordered eating. Either I don’t eat much at all or I over-eat when I’m not in a good mental state. Right now I’m teetering into over-eating, but I know I have to be careful. I cannot let myself to go these extremes and the only way to control this is by counting my macros. As long as I hit my numbers and don’t go over too much, I’ll be okay.
As for vaping, I haven’t had any cravings in a long time. If anything, I want nothing to do with it. When I first quit drinking alcohol over ten years ago, I felt the same and still do. Why wreck my body? I have a complex medical history, so there’s no need to make it worse with bad habits.
My final words for today: “Perseverance is measured not by what we go through, but how we go through it.”
Congrats on checking in with day 3 Natalie! Are you planning on a meeting tonight? Stay connected, stay present, forget your past for awhile. That baggage can be sorted out later.
Checking in with 78 days AF, been waking up feeling good but as the day progresses I get beset by depression, anxiety even leading to panic attacks, and exhaustion.
I thought I had a handle on this Higher Power stuff, always believed in some kind of God, but doubts have been creeping in and making it hard to stay spiritually connected or motivated to stay sober. Last night a sudden craving almost got me but I was able to tell myself “not today.”
Life is gonna life so Im gearing up to do my best today and not let the evil twin win.
I’m going through the exact same feelings. I’m so pissed off at myself for getting that drunk but I feel it’s through this pain we truly learn more about our addiction. Stay strong, you totally got this
Day 962
My morning started with a migraine. First I thought it’s just tension in my neck, but nope. Migraine.
Since I’m not taking an SSRI anymore I’m now allowed again to take migraine meds (Triptan).
I was afraid of it, what if my mind and body go down that old rabbit hole of hyper focus again? I remained calm and tried not to follow those old unhealthy behaviors (checking my pulse, am I breathing right, am I still able to talk or walk).
And guys, 40 minutes after taking it I was pain free!
I’m still smiling like an idiot here hehe, oh I’m so grateful!
Not another day wasted in bed, crying while holding my head.
No worries because of leaving my coworkers alone.
YES!
Have a beautiful sober day fam, take care
. Hope you are feeling less anxious today. Sending hugs 
)
So proud of you!