Day 11, my auntie came to visit me and my Grandpa, she is a lovely supportive person. Im feeling a little under the weather because of my meds, but hopefully will improve soon. Feeling strong and positive.
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Checking in. Had an EXCELLENT meeting this evening, I really had that āoh yes Iām with my people momentā it was a total highlight.
Otherwise going to make a list for tomorrow which will include the gym, lots of food, grocery shopping and an ice bath.
Feeling good for the first time in a while.
ODAAT
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Your doing great Audrey
When I had cravings early on I started listening to Chapter 3 of the Big Book on audio.
Iād listen to it on my morning walks when I needed to. It helped me a lot. I wasnāt even going to AA then. Good chapter to start with.
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The beagle/springer spaniel I had growing up was the same way 
It got to the point my parents would have to tie her up inside sometimes! She just wanted to be free 
She also lifted her leg to pee and was racist (bc the paperboy walked into our yard to pepper spray her while she was tied to a tree when she was a puppy, little asshole 
) She was something else 
Just found this picture the other nightā¦
āLittle Orphanā Annie
My 11yo already does this half the time sheās home and it is weird 
Like, idk what to do with myself. Sometimes Iāll go out and run errands, but never longer than an hour at this point. Moving thru a strange feeling transition 
@TatteredLace Idk much about rehab, but I do know it only works if you let it. Anyone can go, but that doesnāt mean it helps everyone who does (statistically speaking) Like how I was forced to sit thru DDP twice, but couldnāt tell you a single thing that was said 
I got sober when I wanted that more than I wanted alcohol (that was the long and difficult path). You have to go all in when it comes to recovery. It has to be your #1 priority 24/7. That can be done anywhere. Itās just a matter of knowing youāre capable to do so on your own, rather than institutionalized. Listen to your gut
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āDay 2489 
Woke up a bit anxious today so thatās why Iām here. Venting always helps.
My mom died of breast cancer 20 years ago and yesterday Iāve heared my aunt (my momās sister) has also breast cancer. She has surgery next week. It gives me the creeps for many reasons.
Today we meet and I hope I can give her some support and love. Itās hard though.
It digs up all the tucked away memories of the sickness of my mom and how hard it was to see her suffer. But Iām not going to drink to deal with my emotions. Instead of that Iām here and will talk about this with my partner.
Picture of my favorite tree
Have a good day ore night all
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They are so good 
599 sugar
463 UPF
337 gluten/dairy
Overcast day, almost missed my meeting, still a bit sleepy. Going to do my weekly review, take a trip into the city later and relax.
Peace and love always 
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Appreciate that @JazzyS Yes absolutely agree with you. I guess I do everything I can to make this memorable in a wrong way, so that I have additional motivation not to relapse again after I end this, which is now. I feel so much better when I do sports, and donāt drink, just love that. I will lock myself in movie theatre in the evening, my worst day has always been the first one.
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Whatās in Your Life Smoothie Today?
Hereās what Iām tossing into my daily blendāno booze, no judgment, just pure vibes:
- A hefty scoop of āIāve got thisā confidence
- A dash of spontaneous dance breaks in the living room
- Handfuls of supportive friends who know your coffee order by heart
- A sprinkle of boundary-setting skills (hello, personal space!)
- Generous pours of ānew hobbyā excitement (knitting unicorns, anyone?)
- Big spoonfuls of forgivenessāespecially for your past self
- A handful of āheck yesā playlists that banish any mood slumps
- A swirl of morning sunshine and deep breaths
- Pinches of healthy snacks: chips you can crunch on, not stumble into
- Endless sips of water (the best hangover cure, every day)
Blend it up, sip mindfully, and remind yourself: youāre the best mix youāll ever make.
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Hi,
I completely agree with what you said to TatteredLace. Iām going through exactly the same thing. Thank you for writing, reading your words strengthens my convictions.
Today is my 3rd day being sober, and Iām going to give myself a good kick in the butt.
In a few days, Iām committing to a new lifestyle in order to effectively combat cravings, particularly those that arise from a feeling of lack of pleasure. 
Iām going on an 8-days solo trek. This should help rebalance the brain circuits linked to pleasure and motivation. The goal is to restore sensitivity to natural rewards. The desire to go on this trek will be stronger than the desire to drink. And during this trek: simplicity and frugality. Itās a good plan.
Is the desire to drink alcohol persistent? Of course it is! I know that for a fact. Like you, Iāve been trying to quit for years. But Iām no longer afraid of succeeding today. Iām done with being afraid, sitting alone, letting doubt play with me, going around in circles, and relapsing again and again. So: I too am persistent! And Iām getting ready to take action.
I wanted to write to you, I think you understand why 
Have a good day!
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- Slept ok ISH. My neighbours kid is about 7/8 and sheās a precocious little adorable ball of mischief. Her living room balcony backs onto my bedroom window and I think she might currently be on a mega mission on some bleeping video game
. Last weekend we had her sleepover party for hours and hours, and the kids were eating breakfast on the balcony whilst watching a very loud American kids drama and stating they were āboredā. My cats jumped on the window ledge to stare at them and her friends must have pointed them out, to which Gracie said deadpan āi hate catsā. She reminds me of a tiny Killing Eve. One time she told my wife that she spies on her thru the windows and made binocular shapes with her hands on her eyes 
. Oh, Iām so glad the kids have broken up for summer now . In all truth, I think sheās great and I really like her mum as well, itās all funny. Little noise pollution doesnāt hurt anyone. Happy 24 folks, LFG lionesses 
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931
Got up and went for my run this morning. I canāt explain how good running makes me feel. Itās like a kind of mental clarity, balance and freedom I wish I had had all my life.
Brought the cats out for a walk about the garden on their leads. Now Iām just sitting outside the back door in the shade, listening to the birds tweet. I literally have nothing to do for the day and I am so happy about that.
I was taking a photo of the mountain the other day right when a bird flew through the shot
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I love this!
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Hey all, checking in on day 1855. I hope everybody has a good one!
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@SoberWalker oh Iām so sorry love. The anniversary of your momās passing and then having to deal with your aunts diagnosis is all overwhelming. Of course you are anxious as Iām sure in comforting your aunt you are bringing up many memories.
I am glad you did stop by and post. I hope it helped. Sending love and hugsā¦hope all goes well for your aunts surgery. We are here for you 
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Good morning friends, day 56! First time in a while that there is nothing pressing to do today. Not on-call, no family parties or dinners planned, the grass is cut and we got big chores done yesterday. Iāll help Linda with grocery shopping but thatās easyā¦ Feels weird but Iāll take it.
Have a great day!
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Morning check in on my almost day 11. Good spirits. Today is my sisterās 40th birthday party, and a mini family reunion. Have family coming from all over, which is exciting. Cousins I havenāt seen in years! Should be an interesting time, as all different sides of the family are going to be there, including our extended family, and friends that became family. Much love and light to all today.
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Day 1102
A good home day planned. Some stuff at my desk too. Some potentially stressy matters on the horizon, but not much I can do about them today except take care of the present, the here and now.
Oh and, itās International Rock Day!
I got some good advice in the early days on how to beat cravings, how to kick my head out of future tripping or living in the past: find an activity that put me right in the present. One of my favourite things ever? Getting lost in rock-gazing along a lakeshore or riverbank or on a hike. Found this one on a hike. 
Left it right where I found it, figured others need to see it tooā¦
Just a little PSA in honour of rocks. And their support for recovery. 
Onward, fine friends. 
@SoberWalker Oh, several hugs and much comfort your way. I hope your Aunt has a quick and successful recovery. Take care of your heart!
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Checking in 77 days. Nothing special going on. Waiting for 1st of August, my summer holiday.
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