Funny animal videos or good stand up comedy is my go to for reliable dopamine.
I relate a lot to the overly chatty brain and seasonal changes. I am in the seat next to you on the struggle bus.
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Thank you 
Good to be seen. Shops are closed now, so Iām safe for today, but I need to reevaluate my plan moving forward. I canāt white knuckle this thing. I need to up my game 
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Day 61. I had a decent day at work. I canāt help feeling on guard and like my boss is out to get me. I made sure to cross my tās and for my iās. Having a chill evening at home, watching a movie and some ice cream..some chamomile tea after that. Iām looking forward to church tomorrow and then work in the afternoonā¦
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50 Days ~
My 53rd birthday is tomorrow. 
Iām going over to my moms for lunch and thatās about it. Iāve had a few weird bdays but this is an especially odd one. All good tho. Iām trying to let this growth process do its thing. In the meantime (IN THE MEANTIME - Helmet pops in my headā¦sry, white people 90ās shit)ā¦sleeeeep. 
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Happy birthday to you.
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949
Feeling blah. I havenāt felt like eating much, even tho Iām hungry. Nothing sounds good and itās like I donāt want to take the time for the act of eating. But Iām forcing myself here and there. Mostly just too tired.
Work was sucky. Just me and the newest manager worked dinner service (which was lame). She is a great worker and we get along well, but recently sheās suddenly been stirring the pot everywhere. Constantly pointing out specific peopleās mistakes (but she makes just as many). Acting as if sheās above certain duties bc sheās ābeen there over a yearā 
Iāve been there 10yrs and Iāll do the dishes if I have to! All she did was complain she wasnāt put on the golf event and that we didnāt have a bartender or busser with us. Thatās a regular Tuesday for me 
Alone, at that! I donāt understand where this sudden entitlement came from, but itās rubbing everyone the wrong way. Her vibes definitely wore me down tonight. In need of some serious rest and relaxation. Odaat 
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Good morning everyone!
DAY 24 - check in.
Today there is a solar eclipse and tomorrow is the autumn equinox. Itās the beginning of a new season and time to wrap up the summer, in a way. The thing that excites me the most is to welcome this new period with this newfound sobriety and see how things will unfold in the next months. I have some plans but nothing set in stone, and I am keeping an open mind to see how events will unfold. In September I felt very exhausted for almost the entire month, but now energy is coming back and I will make an effort to wake up one hour earlier to have more time to work for myself, since my father alone takes up almost all my time because he wants to eat very early. So unless I start very early, by 11am I must stop.
Today I am grateful for:
1.The ocean
2.The generosity of my father
3.Having a bike
Have a great 24 sober hours ahead!
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- Exhausted. Spent the weekend with MIL and honestly sheās declined in the two weeks we havenāt seen her. Having that latest fall seems to have knocked her for six. Did as much as we could and left her with lots of meals and healthy hot food to reheat. Stuff with vegetables in!! It was quite an upsetting visit, right from the moment we rolled into the countryside valley town and saw the St George flags newly erected on every lampposts thru to having many conversations that made zero sense. Lots to think about and process on the drive home.
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2297
Iām back home. Really glad with my own bed, as I slept for about nine hours which never happens. Seeing daylight when I woke up this morning gave me a little jolt. Not used to that anymore.
I had a great little trip even though I didnāt socialize much. Maybe thatās why I had a little bit of a crave here and there, seeing other people drink. Obviously my way for 40 years to cope with anything, including feeling alone. Or maybe mainly with feeling alone. Thinking it through was enough to disperse the crave but it still made me think. Over six years sober and clean but itās still there. Iām an addict for life and thatās fine but I have to stay vigilant.
Biking yesterday through Friesland was really nice, although towards the end it was a bit of a struggle because of the persistent headwinds I dealt with for two days. Especially the last 10 km, which I had planned to have the wind in my back. But the wind direction changed 
. I survived while moaning and bitching against the elements.
Took another ferry across the IJsselmeer, and the train home through North Holland. I had enough of cycling after 5 hours with the wind in me face, couldnāt taken another 4 hours. Know your limits.
The pic is from a small ferry crossing in the provinceās lakes area. Made me long for sailing, which I did a lot in this area in my teens but didnāt for a long while. Well, only so many hours in the day. Who knows. For now it was good as it were. One day at a time. Love.
@Tragicfarinelli Thatās a lot to process friend. Sending hugs 
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Hospitality work can be very challenging, especially when restaurants are involved. I have done it for so many years, and it really puts you to the test. But itās a good exercise for the ego, knowing you are right but not having to win at all costs. At the end of the day, our actions count more than our words, and some people just donāt have the gift of clarity of mind and are sucked into their little illusory world made of themselves. You are lucky that you can do the dishesā¦ you are the rich one there!!! I would do exactly the same as you, share here but keep it professional and under control there.
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Good morning. Its a cool one today, very fresh and pleased its stopped raining.
Ive been awake since just after 4 and was waiting for it getting light to take Alfie out. We had a good walk, now Im tired and ready for bed but thats not happening. Far too much to do today.
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669 sugar
533 UPF
Great game night yesterday. Slept in, doing my weekly review. Want to move my desk to the other side of the building to get more sun during the approaching fall and winter.
Peace and love always 
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Checking in on day
865 no alcohol
374 no form of marijuana
505 nic free
Today I woke up super late yet I made it to work nice and early
for a morning of nothing but getting up and ready then work itās going pretty well. Im energized but do have a belly ache a little bit
Iām happy about my sobriety
I have moments where Iām just like I want I want I want but I get by them and end up happy Iām sober
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Hey all, checking in on day 1925. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in on day 269
Been reading around here for a bit this morning and read some things that reminded me what I still really need to work on everyday. No work today but so much I want to get done here plus hopefully also find some time to get out and enjoy this awesome goldilocks ( not too hot , not too cold) weather. I do often find it hard to make time to do enjoyable things on my days off with so much here that always need to be done and not much help from others here in the house. But I guess thatās just life isnāt it 
. Hope you all have a great day. Stay safe and sober everyone.
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Thanks Kev 
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good morning all on day 4 here. Tired, spending a lot of time thinking about the career I just screwed up. In this weird mental state, trying to accept it and there was things I did not enjoy or would have done differently but also I was really good at my job and I did like some aspects of it.
Anyways, going to keep myself busy today.
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1761.. No Alcohol
57.. No lust
And, to all those going to Church.
Enjoy the Sunday!
In Jesus mighty name!
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Thanks! Iām on the way as we speak! God is good!
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@Dilettante how are you doing today?
@Moriah happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating you today 
@Just_Laura hope you slept well and are feeling refreshed today. Sucks that the manager is acting this way (especially out of the blue). Hope itās just a quick phase and not her new demeanor. Itās important for a manager to get in with the work and do all the tasks they ask if othersā¦it shows a sense of team spirit imo. Like you stepping in and doing the dishes or whatever when needed.
@Tragicfarinelli 
. It is hard seeing a loved one decline with age. Falls in old age are so scary as they can cripple you and steadily increase that decline. Sending hugs and love
We all need that reminder from time to time. I donāt think we ever run out of way to help ourselves and a need to keep working on our recovery. Enjoy your perfect weather day 
@JMS19 well done with day 4. Try not to get bogged down with the what ifs and if onlys..you can work now on working your recovery and finding something else that is better suited for you. A job where you will go in sober and be your best self or going back to school like you had mentioned before. Enjoy your Sunday my friendā¦one moment at a time 
Checking in on Sunday morning 
Feeling groggy as I didnāt sleep well and this pain is a pain in my *** ā¦ Itās be a good day. Gonna get that coffee started first. Donāt have anything specific plannedā¦just hope itās not a complete rest day
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free dayā¦ sending you all so much love
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