Those early and quiet morning hours sounds so lovely!
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Checking in!
Work was ok! When I walked passed the office of my boss this morning he asked me how yesterday went! 
Well it was a quickie! The truth is, heās very relaxed, sometimes too relaxed. I told him I said hi at the work event and left, and he was fine with that! 
He knows me better than that, and I solve a lot of problems for him. End of story!
The rest of the day went fine, lots of work, but I have the afternoon to myself! The last 2 days I had work commitments after my regular shift. Iām gonna try something new in my air fryer tonight! I hope it turns out eatable, otherwise itās gonna be a sandwich tomorrow! 
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Evening check in. I got through my work day unscathed and all in one piece. Storm Amy is raging outside and doing her best to rearrange my garden but so far we are ok. Hows it going up there for you @Ray_M_C_Laren ? This one is a bit of a beast.
Ive slipped into a ācant be arsedā mode and that only flags up danger for me so tonight Im going to have a listen in on an online meeting followed by some research on to why im feeling this way out. I have no cravings for beer, Im not missing the company from the pub. Im not HALT.
Maybe a soak in the bath and try to clear my mind will help.
After reading through this maybe I am actuality a little tired afterall 
Hope you all have a decent friday.
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Checkin in day 267 AF and 243 nic-free.
Was not in a good headspace today. Went to an event (I do volunteer work there once in a while) but I felt out of place, insecure and almost dissociating. I just wasnāt completely there. 1300 people around me and I couldnāt handle it. Also the place where I met my ex and it brought up a lot of emotions, pain and a kind of missing I never feel anymore about this situation (and HATE feeling).
My struggle with emotions is also still an ongoing proces and I think I have so much more anger inside me that needs to come out. I think I need to go to boxing or something like that.. I feel angry at the world, myself, my parents, my family in general ( I have a really sucky family who doesnāt fight for each other - we all (YES, me too if I donāt look out for it 
) just say ā ah you donāt need me? fine, see you never again!ā)..
Iām working on it though. Finding a somewhat balance in validating I feel angry and allowing myself to be angry without letting it consume me or for it to become unhealthy. Drowning it was easier but as you can see not really helpful as itāll just surface again when sober 
Well, now the positives. I am still sober and my next milestone will be 9 months in a couple of days. Most of my pets are healthy and they are all loved. My home is clean, calm and I felt the stress go down when I got home this afternoon (it still is my sanctuary 
). I have chocolate 
Wish you all a great day/evening/night without stress 
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Thatās all we can do Marit. And youāre doing it. One day at a time. End of the day, life is still pretty hard. All the more reason to work on our lives every day, instead of letting it slip through our fingers while being idle and under the influence of this or that. Nope, never again.
Youāre working on a better life, realizing and recognizing all these things that are not right . Working on making better what you can, owning what yours, and leaving to others what has to be left to them. Youāre doing great friend. Keep going. Big hugs. 
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229 days. Im upset that my son and daughter are clashing at the moment. 13 and 16.
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Day 13 evening check in
Another busy, month end, work day. I did manage to fit a lunch time walk in. Weāre getting absolutely battered by storms here in the UK at the moment but I felt the need to go anyway to quieten my mind. I was getting blown about all over the pace, absolutely soaked and getting slapped across the face by tree branches. I saw somebody looking out at me from their kitchen window like theyād seen a ghost.
My mind is very noisy at the moment though and the walks seem to be one of few things that work. Iāve tried other stuff like podcasts and guided meditations but they just donāt seem to work for me in the way they do for others. I really need to learn to let go of things I canāt control (worrying about them, getting annoyed by them, etc).
Have a great, and sober, start to your weekend everyone!
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Thank you Menno, I really appreciate you
Wordt het wel ooit makkelijker? 
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Makkelijker weet ik niet. Wel beter, heel veel beter 
(not sure it ever gets easier -sober life that is- but it does get much much better).
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Day 6 in the evening
Thank you all!
I needed to let off steam. Expressing your rebellion is an act that makes sense in the right direction. As long as there is a moral code accepted by our members. Thatās what I was trying to explain.
Rebellion and doubt generate possibilities. Fatalism and abandonment lead to dead ends.
Tonight, as @Von100 predicted, the children are in bed and I am pleased with myself and I thank you all for allowing me to express myself with respect and dignity.
I am fortunate to have you. This community is wonderful.
Have a good sober evening everyone! 
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Heck yeah!!! I love this ..have some great adventures you two 
@Butterflymoonwoman thanks love. Hope the strike doesnāt last too long. Glad you are finding ways to work on yourself through it. Sending energy and strength to get those early morning workouts in 
So true and something we need to rememberā¦when the craze comes we should stop to see if we can see whatās running the craving. So proud of you. Hope your day got better
. I love it ..glad I was able to figure out who was writing right away
Hope the bread turns out well 
So very right on. Grateful that your sobriety is strong and this is not the case. So sorry for the sickness your loved ones are dealing with. @JFT4291 well done on your journey. So happy to see the stars aligning and your sober tools increasing. Keep up the amazing work. Yippee to doing another sober weekendā¦we can do this together
@Leveller hope the meeting and bath helped. Way to get ahead of this mood.
Much love friend. We do work on so much in our recovery and anger is a huge one. Be gentle with yourself cause it is a processā¦ especially with family as some issues run deep . I hope you could do something for yourself and it helped with the headspace 
@Hazy love the beach avatar 
. Sorry about the sibling rivalry. I know I was always either totally indifferent or in fights with mine. The teens can be challenging too. Sending strength and hugs your way.
Checking in late afternoon on Friday
Feeling crappy and emotional. I am a bit fed up with my body. This too shall passā¦thr emotional bit.
Trying to stay positive. It is a lovely sunny day in October. I am able to be somewhat mobile and help my family as needed. I will not drink / smoke. I will breathe and rest. Grateful I have leftovers so Iāll have dinner ready when I get homeā
Gonna hopefully be home in a few hours and possibly call it a night.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day/ eveningā¦ sending you all so much love 
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Itās good to observe and name the frustration. Sometimes it feels like our bodies betray us. I am wishing you cohesive healing 
Not a linear process. I hope the downs steady and the ups rise for you.
*tucks you in*
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you are too kind and sweet. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. 
Thank you my friend 
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Late check in 74 days THC free and 38 days MO free. I worked from 10am - 6pm. We have inventory coming up next Friday so I spent about 2 hours organizing the cooler. HR called me and told me that the investigation on my boss is over. Although, they couldnāt tell me what the outcome is. I havenāt gotten written up again. I am still putting in applications to see if I can get out of the gas station business. Back to work at 6am, relaxing and watching a movie..almost bedtimeā¦
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oh man Iām sorry friend. Wishing you luck with the job hunt. Sounds like you need a different not so toxic environment. 
That was a typo, I fixed it. I have not gotten written up again! But the job search still continuesā¦
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Oh that is a relief! Glad you didnāt get written up.
Still sending you luck with the job search
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3215
Still sick but feeling steadily better. I didnāt work again today. Both twins were home from school. Hoping we all heal over the weekend. Wishing you all a good weekend.
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Checking in day 43. An oddly busy day. Went to the dentist with my soul daughter. I treated her to dunkin after for being a good sport lol. After that my other daughter called so we talked for a couple hours. I didnāt even get to my yoga until the evening. Pure madness I tell ya lol. I got a solid hour in (without my Apple Watch so I guess I didnāt work out today lol) I have so much catching up to do. Way too tired tonight. About to make some tea, hit my meeting and get some sleep 
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