Welcome and glad you are here. Congrats on your sober time. Hope your therapy goes great. Let us know how it goes
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Hey . You are here now. Stay with us. Sending hugs!
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Its not too late, tip whatever you have left.
Re-commit to being sober.
Donāt hit the āfuck itā switch. All is not lost
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718 days
2nd school trip for the week with the kids. Mon was the zoo with the eldests class. Today was the museum with the youngest. So privileged to have the ability to go on these trips and be there for the kids. Back to work after a few weeks off regular duties, firstly for the course i was teaching then secondly I took days off to look after my wife. At least itās nightshift so Iāve got all of tomorrow to mentally prepare hahaha
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Good morning. 114 days of not being a degenerate binge deinker. Not sure how I ever had time for that carry on but weāre over it.
I wish you all well. Wednesday, time to make some fulfilling plans for the weekend 
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I love this post. Actually choked me up and have to share a memory. My childhood was during the days dad worked and mom stayed home to care for house yard and us kids. My elementary school had many school trips and my mom was always available for volunteer chaperone. What a terrific opportunity to have mom along when discovering history, nature and just having an out of classroom experience. Iām smiling. Thank you for sharing.
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@Rossle Welcome!
@GOKU_SS4 You doing breathing techniques and meditation is your ticket to freedom. It only takes practice. Keep going, one day youāll hit 30 too. I thought I could never win the battle against sex, but it happened, and I believe most of the work was made through breathing and meditation, along with physical exercise.
@Alycia Iām so glad to hear that things are going better.
@Jette, yes, Jette, you really put the metal in the pedal in your work, and you deserve much better than what you get there (for what I gather from your posts). Good luck!
@SK213 Keep coming back. Lower your expectations about figuring it all out right away. Take it one day at a time, and listen as much as possible to what people with long-term sobriety have to tell you. There is nothing to prove in recovery; itās simply about recovery.
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I relapsed over and over until I got too sick and tired of my shit and sobriety stuck.
We keep trying, keep remembering why you want to quit and how bad it can get. One day at a time, choose your sanity and sobriety. Keep trying
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Maybe another day Iāll see you all. Life on lifeās terms is too much. Donāt have the support I expected / needed from my actual people. Ez.
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Hello everyone!
DAY 83 ā Check-in
I had a realization last night. Since my panic attack the other day, I havenāt been able to sleep properly; I wake up around 3 a.m. and canāt fall asleep again. I know that around that time cortisol (the stress hormone) is at its peak, and when itās too high it jolts you awake with a shot of adrenaline.
Regardless of what people might say to me, the real problem is how big a deal my mind makes of it and the domino effect of feelings that follow, along with the release of hormones into my bloodstream.
My sister, my father, this placeā¦ all the side effects I perceive are just products of my addictive imagination, addicted to drama and to the sensations it gives my body. For decades Iāve been trapped in this cycle of blowing situations out of proportion and then āfixingā them with drugs and alcohol.
Things will always happen around me, and I canāt stop a chaotic universe, but at this stage of my recovery (looking back over the last two years) I can see clearly that life is happening for me, not to me.
Itās happening so I can finally understand that I create 99 % of the drama, fear, and false beliefs around myself because Iām addicted to the chemical consequences they produce. A doctor once told me that my parasympathetic nervous system was at high risk due to the elevated levels of cortisol and adrenaline in my blood.
I canāt relax if I keep telling myself stories about how ābadā I feel because of someone else. The solution is the same one I use in meditation: just as I donāt engage with thoughts when I close my eyes and go within, I donāt have to follow the same stream of thoughts while operating. I must recognize them consciously for what they really are, just fantasies, and move through the day without nurturing them. And I will.
Today I am grateful for:
- the signals of my body
- sleepless nights if they bring about realizations
- moments of clarity and the willingness to apply to work
Wishing everyone a solid 24 sober hours!
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1 month and 3 days sober from masturbation
today Iām seeing tremendous benefit on my body, on my energy, on my work life, on my sex life recovery has been good to me I remember when I had sex this year it was very bad due to excessive masturbation and giving in to porn for three years ish but this recovery so far has made me realise the harm porn and masturbation was doing to me, how bad it has eaten into my system read me itās all connected one thing affect every thing else
when you are caught in a web of constant relapse it affects your brain which ultimately affects your life, there was a time I wanted to commit suicide because have had enough until I meant God who I see as my higher power and gradually he turned it around
Now Iām sober, Iām stronger, my brain is getting the recovery it needs, I sleep better, wake up earlier, my addiction to my phone which was one of the root causes has been broken and reduced drastically, have come to see the good in recovery
we all wants recovery no doubt even I couldnāt go a week without masturbating sometimes watch porn I was very angry but yet I went back what was more detrimental was dating apps that took nearly hours of my sleep at night facts check all my relationships have never been someone I meant on dating app so why was I going there I guess for the adrenaline rush my life was messed up I tried everything I could but nothing worked until I finally finally surrendered to God, to Allah and he changed me now Iām that person who couldnāt go three days one week without either masturbation, dating apps, social media, sex chat, triggering messages, porn now Iām 1 month plus across all my recovery
itās all connected one setback affects the other
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Early morning check-in at day 848. Yesterday I took my baby to look around a post-16 collegeā¦I cant believe how grown up she is getting 
although she is such a big kid at heart and loves lego and cartoons 
I think itās good for her to realise school is nearly done and to have something new to focus onā¦onwards and upwards, like us all 
Congratulations @Amelie on 4 months 
@ArtMama on 1000 days 
@Leveller on 80 days and @Millie_1987 Millie_1987on 2 weeksš
@Alycia wowā¦what great views for your run! 
Happy hump day all 
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- Miserable wet day and I want to get out! Urgh. Iāll find a way
. Keep fighting the good fight! 
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Good morning everybody,
I am starting day 32 without smoking, 12 without binge eating, 2 without sugar.
Didnāt have much sleep, so I try to do my best and get some paperwork done after some reading time on the couch.
This afternoon Iām going swimming with my teenage daughter. She lets her inner kid out in the water
Take care and have a great day 
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Checking in after a sleep less night with a Menty B as well as super heavy tics episode.
40 days no kms tendencies
22 days no energy drink nor alcohol
Sadly the selfharm counter is back to zero days.
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Sending a big hug your way. You are worth love and support and happiness, and a shoulder to cry on. One day at a time, we can do this. I know how hard it is to break the cycle. And I know, youāve got this. Weāre here with you to lift you up and hold you until youāre strong enough again. 
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Your affirmations and care mean a lot to me. Thank you 
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728 sugar
592 UPF
Still grey skies and freezing rain. Need to get a hold on my piling todos this morning. Design work later and some rowing to finish up the day.
More impression from the festival.
Peace and love always 
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@JazzyS thank you for your care. I am in day 6 . I had a nervous breakdown. I am extremely tired physical and mentally
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Hey all, checking in on day 1984. I hope everybody has a good one!
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