Fresh new thread! Maybe I’ll get the first post in if I’m not too slow to type
Nice lazy day. Checking in. Cooked a massive big breakfast bright and early for the family.
Something notable to mention. Im always seeing reponses to threads of new comers asking for help and seeing the common theme answer “ go to a meeting”. I’ve been here well over a year on this app. Done a month sober, weeks here and there, 6 years ago went nearly a year. Various and inconsistent bouts of sobriety that never sticks. Well… lastnight I put aside all ego and anxiety and all the reasons we think we dont need AA in the beginningand joined an in person meeting for the first time in my life. Got a chip, met some awesome people and got lots of contacts. Talked to some other blokes in similar industry and age groups to me and was told to check out another meeting they go to tonight that’s gonna be really good. Im genuinely excited to go.
Feeling like ive just found a group of people I can build some awesome friendships with.
Saturday evening check in, it’s been a crazy day! Lots of running around, happy to be home with some pizza and Netflix.
I went to my first meeting last night, it was good! I got my 30 day chip (today is 33), and said the words “I am an alcoholic” out loud for the first time. I’ve joked about it in the past, I used to say I put the FUN in functioning alcoholic, but there was some heaviness to actually saying the words out loud. I’ll be going back for sure.
@Jaybeeem that sounds amazing! I imagine an in person meeting to be quite amazing. Probably a bit more intense and also good to get off the screens we spend enough time on. ^^
I hope you’ll enjoy the meetings and they help you lots, you got this!
What an incredible time to be alive! For the past few days,I have been feeling sort of protected by life itself, and I think that having practiced “grounding” for about two years now, along with constant meditation and now finally being sober again, has solidified my root and sacral chakras.
I remember when I used to live in Rome a while ago, I was visiting this energetic healer who would cleanse my aura, and she was always saying that my root and sacral chakras were very weak, spinning very slowly, and that was affecting my incapacity to ground and feel sustained in life.
And that was exactly the truth and one of the many reasons I wasn’t successful in anything, simply because energetically I could not hold it. Now, grounding has become second nature for me, and being conscious during meditation that I am working on my root and sacral chakras has brought,in the long run, effects that are now tangible.
I am very happy; everything around me looks much better, and also the people close to me look much more relaxed, my father being one of them (I had to remove all the toxic ones and I have 0 regrets about it). He was complaining 90% of the time last year at this time and was quite difficult to be around. This year he looks much more surrendered to what it is and is trying to enjoy his time as best as he can.
They say that gratitude is contagious and at the base of everything in life, and I am starting to see the effects now: to be able to see that there is a plan at work, and I just have to trust it and have faith.
On my Sunday morning coffee. I had a strange night. Started off with some scary dreams, for a moment thinking how am I going to get through this night? Then fell asleep and next thing I know it’s six hours later and it was just restful uninterrupted sleep without any dream to remember.
Which is special for me because I tend to wake up every couple of hours at best. And have lots of dreams.
Anyway, I slept an hour more after that, had some pleasant dreams there, and now I am ready to face the day after writing my morning paper and checking in here. Not sure what I’ll do yet. Maybe a little ride. There’s not much I need right now in the way of groceries or anything. The vegetarian red pasta sauce came out great last night and will last me another day. Or two.
Working on not snacking at night, after dinner. It isn’t even that hard, just need some discipline and consistency. And herbal tea. Going to keep this up. Seems like a much better attainable long term goal than intermittent fasting or something like that. For today I will have as good a day as I possibly can. Sober and clean. Hope you will all do the same. Here’s another one from my ride the other day. Much love.
Day ? Im not sure 71 I think. Had 3½ hours sleep which is better than yesterday. Need to rest but forcing myself to get suited and booted and go to the cenotaph today to remember those that gave their lives so I can live.
I will watch the ceremony then return home. No drinking today .
Lots of doubts. Nothing is moving forward, and I’m tempted to give up my efforts. Can’t I just have some peace and live normally like everyone else? Do what I want, rather than waiting and going around in circles? I haven’t done anything from my fitness program this week. It’s not boredom, it’s indecision.
I already hate my job. Like deep down in my soul. I thought I could do it, but being in the same neighborhood, around the same people, the same attitudes…. As a really really hard time my life, is just not sustainable.
You’re on day 35 my friend. ODAAT indeed. It takes time. In my own experience lots of it.
Who are those people that live normal lives? I haven’t met them yet. I know the longing but we’re all crazy in our own ways. Keep going. It’s worth it. But we do need patience, something us addicts aren’t best at I know.
@Scorpn Sorry. Back to the drawing board it is. At least your working on it, and learning. Big hugs friend.
Joshua 1:9
[9] Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
EDIT:
Off to another service. God, fellowship and the the joy.
It isn’t, oh, another one, its where there is life.
Its been a long time since the bars and casinos made me feel alive, and never went to church.
God is great, for He is.
Let go, one day at a time, and give it to Jesus. He will fix it.
Not in what I receive, but what God heals and helps me let go.
willingness is a huge key to staying sober! Keep up the good work!
