Good morning friends, day 22. Will not drink today. That is all.
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Day 8245 better than I deserve and Grateful for the Grace of a Higher Power
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Checking in 130 days THC free and 45 days MO free. Still full from Thanksgiving dinner so grateful for my little church family! I had a great time and met some new people. I was even able to make some plates and take them up to my coworkers that were stuck at work for Thanksgiving evening!
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Day 10 no weed. I guess sobriety is the acceptance you have a problem, but also that you get on the struggle bus with your neglected issues for some time. There is an illusion you’re ok, or there are feelings and situations kept at bay when using, but quitting is accepting you will start feeling or engaging with those said issues. I feel like nothing in me wants to other than the sober me who is fighting like hell to deal with those things, because even if avoided, they are always there anyway.
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Glad you’re here, @Christophe . It’s a struggle. Keep fighting for the life you know you want. Five minutes at a time. 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1993. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in at the start of day 19. I was proud of myself Wednesday and Thursday –in years past I would drink while cooking and cleaning in preparation for Thanksgiving, and sneak a few drinks while at my parents’ house. My family’s pretty great, actually, so while I told myself I was drinking to get through the holiday…I was just drinking because I’m an addict.
I still feel waves of shame when I think about things I’ve done while drinking in the past and I guess that feeling is a good contrast to how I feel now, waking up sober and hangover free and remembering everything that happened the night before.
We’re expecting a big snow storm here over the weekend…I don’t mind if I get snowed in, I have no place I need to be!
Hope everyone has a good day and takes care of themselves. Very thankful for this community.
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Indeed.
While waking up hurts, it eventually becomes more fulfilling.
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Did your dentist appointment go well without too much fear and pain? I really hope it gave you pain relief and you are well now 
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Could not agree more. Getting sober meant really looking inside for real now. The hurt, the fear, the self hate, the trauma’s, all the emotions I’ve never wanted to feel (or even understand!) before.. My unfiltered, uncensored me, in my uncensored life.
Some days I still hate it. But I do know it’s the real way of living.
Please keep sharing, I for one love to read whats on your mind.
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No extra pain as not much was done today. The molar that hurts has to go 
Will happen on Monday. Two more teeth with holes in them need work.
I decided my avoidance in relation to my teeth ends here. Today. Hope I can do it for real this time. It’s really the last great thing I have kept avoiding till today. A really big issue in which I won’t take care of myself still. A remnant from a time when I thought nothing mattered, I wasn’t worth anything and I would die young anyway. Well, that didn’t happen so now I better try and take care of myself. Even when it’s rather late to do so.
I had my lung function test a couple of hours later, so that’s why the dentist didn’t pull the molar right there and then. Results from the lung test showed slight COPD. Maybe. A little bit. Not much and pretty logical after 35 years of heavy smoking. I can live with that, literally. And another reminder how much damage we do to ourselves indulging in our addictions. Not all can be repaired. But at least we can stop hurting ourselves. One day at a time. Thanks for asking.
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Dear @Butterflymoonwoman
So sorry to read about your struggles. Seems like you have a lot going on. Maybe, just maybe take 5 minutes to lay down or sit down and just breathe; just take one huge breath and then try to focus on the air passing in and out of your nose; feel, slow, deep breaths. I have found this helps me a lot, especially when I am overloaded with too much thinking or too much thinking of what I “should” be doing. Be gentle on yourself
My best
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3271
Thanksgiving dinner went well and was yummy yesterday. It’s not super easy for me to be around my parents now that I’m sober. I don’t know what I can do about that, though, since deeper things cannot be discussed. I just try to enjoy my time around my elderly parents as much as I can. It was just my parents, my twins and me.
Today I want to do something productive but have no clue yet what. We will see. For now my cat Taz is snuggling with me while I write. I’m worried that one of my other cats will need to go to the vet soon. She is throwing up almost every day and is slowly losing weight. She is only 2.
Well, I hope everyone has a good day today. I’m thankful to have the day off.
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Your support and positivity are so nice to see every single time. Thank you for being such a wonderful person. It makes it easier for me to visit the platform, knowing that there are always at least a handful of people who react and help me through things.
Today I was triggered by two guys fighting in a coffee bar. I wanted to run away as soon as one of them raised their voice but the assisted living nurse on duty quickly ended their verbal nonsense, so when he and I were alone I thanked him. I know for sure if I hadn’t had the tranquilizer, I would’ve been freerunning across the tables to flee the scene. It’s quite a difference to see my anxiety evaporate like that. This pill is M A J I K lol
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4 months and 25 days down. Is it getting easier??? Idk. Been craving some whiskey lately, not drinking, but there’s been some days as of late that I felt like some strong whiskey was in order. Talked it through with my partner cuz ugh…. Fucking life… raising kids is not for the faint of heart …. Think my own mom deserves an award for all the crap me and my sister put her through.
Anyways. Still tired. Not sleeping well. Sleep patterns are WAY off. Pretty much have walked away from my job. I really don’t know how to approach leaving in a professional way. Honestly I want to call the parents and say get your kid the fuck outta that daycare, it is not an okay place for your child to be…. Then tell them about all the bullshit I have witnessed, and walk. Not my companies fault, not the kids fault, I know they need me, just my own piece of mind says let them know, and step TF away. Ugh… know my own mental health isn’t doing well, and staying in that damn hell, doesn’t help.
For those that have been following my posts, well final court date with my ex is fast approaching, Dec 12th ….. He didn’t show for the last one. Hoping he doesn’t for this one either.
Happy(ish) sober day everyone..
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Hey there and good evening. Checking in on my ninetieth day. This is just a number I never ever thought I would reach.
I created a 3 month alcohol free plan in early August and now I am here!
Now what?
Help ! (Joking) 
My first step is going to revisit What's YOUR plan?
Seriously cant believe Ive not thought beyond these last 3 months. Im not stressed or anxious about me not drinking. This gives me something to think about tonight and we will find a positive plan in the coming days.
Im already looking forward to my week off next week.
Wrapped more of Michelles advent calendar tonight. I saw a cute little Christmas themed dustpan and brush today and was very tempted to buy that for her but on reflection thought it unwise . 
it would be funny, I might still get it.
Hope you all enjoy the rest of your day.
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Way to go friend! I am so incredibly proud of you. I haven’t been on with the holiday madness in a few days and then the first thing I see is this beautiful and inspiring post. Light and love 
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Day 40.
I got through the night and went to bed sober. After pizza, hubs and I watched the first new episode of Stranger Things and cuddled for a bit on the couch with hot tea and homemade gingerbread. Woke up this morning feeling a great deal of relief for getting through Thanksgiving. Very grateful to be on the other side of that holiday… Very grateful for everyone who offered me words of advice and encouragement last night. I felt so much less alone.
Taking a nice easy morning today (per usual - also very grateful for slow and quiet mornings); coffee, a bit of reading, daily tarot, and journaling/checking-in here. In about an hour, I’m locking in to make progress on a final seminar paper due next week. I plan to spend the day at my computer, phone in “brick mode.”
I will be very happy if today is simple and quiet. Planning on spending all day with my noise canceling headphones strapped to my head. Hey Arnold Jazz and Lo-fi on repeat. Protecting my peace today like my life depends on it. 
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Day 3 sigh Feeling very emo this eve
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Happy Friday, everyone. Big day here, in a big week. My only two awake downtimes this week were a hair wash/cut/style, and a dental hygiene appointment. It was great not having to look at a screen, or be doing a task!
“Wild horses” by the Stones came on during my time lying in the dentist chair. I let every instrument during every second, with Mick’s lyrics and vocals sink into my alert, resting brain.
Thank you to everything that enabled that few minutes of peace.
Enjoy the rest of your day and upcoming weekend!
Going to be another day with periodic edit updates:
Edit 1 - mid-afternoon: My wife is exhausted and cranky lately, and taking her stress out on me. She always apologizes, but it’s very demoralizing and demotivating afterward. I’m feeling the A.L.T. from H.A.L.T. right now. I’m starting with sharing my thoughts on here, and going to reach out to friends and family as soon as I hit save on this. Peace.
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