Wow. I really feel seen. What you wrote is a highly intelligent and empathic interpretation. Thank you so much @Christophe I’m an alcoholic too 
I got sober here in 2018.
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You’re welcome 
There is a lot of ready to pick fruit here to pick and add to you’re own sober strategy 
Nice to meet you 
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Checking in on day 122! Still sober.
The holidays ar almost upon us. A big drinking period for me. I feel some cravings coming up already 
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747 days
About to pack up the car and head back home. Yesterday was great, kids had fun with their cousins all day. This quick trip was really just for the kids to see their cousins and grandparents.
Home today, then have tomorrow off, then back to work Saturday. This time of year my work gets quieter but my family/downtime gets super busy. I almost enjoy going to work at this time for the peace and quiet hahaha
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Ngl gang, I’m teetering on the brink of a drink here!
I’ve had part of my autism assessment today and it’s opened up a lot of old wounds, and then tomorrow I’ve to meet my mum for lunch (which is always a difficult, emotionally) and then go get stuff for the holidays and town is going to be so busy and I’m going to have to talk to a lot of people and it’s all going to be so frickin stressful and overstimulating and I’m trying to talk to my partner about it and make a plan and make a list, but she’s just on her phone and not really listening, so then ofc I start crying for the umpteenth time today - and all I keep thinking is “I could get through this if I just had a couple drinks, take the edge off, bit of Dutch courage” and I know that’s a real bad idea because it won’t be a couple drinks (it never is with me!) but I just don’t have another method for pushing beyond my limits like this - and I kinda gotta?! The drink was my mask and without it I just feel like a raw GD nerve!
Thanks for letting me rant and hopefully y’all will have some supportive words and/or advice for me?? It’s a tough time of year to stay sober! 
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Checking in
Today I went back to the office. After my 2 weeks of holidays, and after sitting 8 hours in my closed office with no window, I decided to go for a walk after work. I’ve never gone for a walk in winter at night, cause I live in a small town, and it’s all pretty dark. My main fear is coming across a dog that has escaped (I’m afraid of dogs after one bit me 18 months ago) 
It was just a short walk of 40 minutes, but it really lifted my mood, and I didn’t see any lose dogs! 
So that’s something I will do again soon! Other than that, not too much to report! Xmas time is not my favorite time of the year…
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Im sorry to read your not in a comfortable place right now. I know you’ve heard this before, and it sounds like a lame phrase, but drinking won’t solve anything! I hope you find something nice to do right now (take a warm bath, read a book, something you enjoy!) that makes feel good with yourself, and that your desire will subside! 
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Maybe today you don’t have to do all that stuff. If life feels like it might be pushing you into a drink take a step back if you can. It sounds like your assessment peeled back a few protective layers today. Can you use today as a day to heal?
You know drinking won’t help.
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@RichardD1013 so very sorry for your loss 
. RIP Grandma. It really is an evil disease with no mercy. My condolences to you and your family 
Whoop whoop! Now that’s awesome 
. Saw you on the selfie thread…looking great in your sobriety.
@Tragicfarinelli you ok? I feel like I haven’t seen you in a bit.
@DanielaJ thanks love…still feeling rough but getting better. Taking it easy. Glad to see you are starting to do / feel better. you look beautiful in the selfie thread my friend…way to kick ass and stack up 2 months. Keep going strong 
@ceejayboi way to go with resisting the urges! Flex them sober muscles. Wishing you luck with the patch. Some feel it’s best to get over the early stages and withdrawal symptoms at once …we are here to support you through ODAAT 14 hours is a great start. You’ll know when you are ready and we will be here to help you through.
@s_unrelax so very proud of you friend. Great work on your 70 days! Impressive work in clearing the debt 
. Sobriety truly is full of amazing gifts
@CBbonez closing in on 1 month is fabulous. The shakes can be normal but also worthy of getting checked out by your doctor. It does get easier my friend. Drinking really does take so much from us .. grateful we are not in that path any longer
@Lucalds whoohoo 
triple 1’s is awesome 
. It does hurt to block life long friends but as you realized, we need to protect our sobriety and align ourselves with those who will help keep us pushing forward rather than hinder our success. Much love friend
@Hazy yeah to 10 months . So great to see this milestone
Very interesting 
. Glad you are able to remember them and process them. Our subconscious can be so trippy at times.
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@CR84 a lot of changes in the last year Cass. So grateful that you are self aware of the milestone malady and how your mind reacts to it. So grateful to see you thriving in sobriety. Keep putting in the work my friend…you are doing an incredible job
@Lasse stress and this holiday time of year can be big triggers for sure. I do hope that writing it down helped. Engaging here in the threads by reading and distracting myself is my way of passing the urges. A meeting in person or on line with a recovery group may also be helpful. Remember that you have done harder things before. 234 days is a pretty sweet number…remind yourself of day 1 and how hard it was to get here.
@BlancheDuBois nicely done with your 4.0! I would always get sick at the end of a semester. Like the body knows it can finally shut down. Sorry both you and hubs are sick. Wishing you a quick recovery.
@Kev2 sorry friend. That sounds like an awful experience. I have a hard enough time walking past the liquor area at the grocery store. For sure the whole liquor store experience would be a lot. Hope you don’t have to go through that again
We are here for you…great work on your sobriety this far…focus on the reasons you started this journey. Make notes for why you won’t go back to day one and keep them handy. For me reaching out and reading here helps me get past the cravings. Wishing you a successful holiday season…we are in this together
Well we know this is the addict thinking. I am so sorry for the struggles that you are dealing with. Sorry that things are so overwhelming. Drinking will not solve anything. Hope you are able to keep reaching out here. Stay connected. We are here for you love. You are not alone .
@Jesile glad you were able to get in a nice walk and do so despite your fears. 
.
Checking in on Wednesday afternoon
1092 days of alcohol and weed
1507 days free of cigarettes
Feeling tired but happy. Slowly getting things sorted and organized. Still resting and healing.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day…sending you all so much love 
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Yeah it’s night time here now, all of that other stuff is tomorrow, but you’re right. ODAAT, and tomorrow or one thing at a time - and then I can rest and recuperate all weekend!
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Yeah I went to a zoom meeting and I can really hear it now that I’ve calmed down a bit - thank you
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Went to a zoom meeting and had a big cry - can’t say I feel better as such but I’ve calmed down and that’s a start! Thank you
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Glad to hear the meeting has helped. Keep working your tools and leaning on your support. Much love to you 
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Glad you used one of the tools in your sober tool box! Well done! 
Hang in there!
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@JazzyS Awe thank you love. It means so much to me 
Glad you‘re healing. And how brave to drive again!
Sending lots of love!
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I have used alcohol as an emotional regulator for 30 years and now have the ability to observe human dynamics in detail. I 'm now working on transforming my harshness into structured kindness. And what’s difficult is that it plunges me back into my childhood, when my psychological goal was to stay alive.
Being hard on myself and others has become part of my identity, and I want to change that. But without compensation, without alcohol as my close companion, many situations are painful. I resist my urges like a real fighter. Alcohol as a refuge can no longer be an option.
Day 3 accomplished.
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Quick check in.
Yesterday was epic. The ocean got bigger as the day progressed. Until it got too big. I got smashed by a giant wave and washed me across the deck. I didnt get injured.
It was my most epic day of crabbing ever! I had fun. Wrecking balls of crab coming over the rail, heavy seas, huge boat! We have about 40 thousand pounds of crab on board.
Huge storm coming tonight. We will get a break. Im happy with that.
Self care… no bars
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Such a deep reflection..thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that..it’s helps remove the personal shame and inspires others to reflect in those areas. 
@JasonFisher that sounds crazy..but epic! Have fun 
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