Checking in on day 44
Work today but off tomorrow, of course. My mood is a bit better this morning, thank goodness. Maybe I just needed some good sleep. It’s been an exhausting week. I’m grateful to be here and to be sober. I’m also grateful for the work I’m doing on my mental health. Love to all. Have a peaceful day.
The craziest thing, Daniela, is that I feel sorry for her about having to put up those boundaries and somehow cut her off, because she’s been so manipulative, making me believe I’m stuck in some dynamics with myself and my father that I’m not even aware of, and that she’s worried about for me… This is crazy. What the hell?
She can be ruthless in keeping her footing, playing passive-aggressive to control everything by saying she’s overloaded by us 
I’m not engaging much, just the basics but neither letting her have it!
Oh yes, I still feel tempted. The strength of the temptation is less and less and easier to cope with. When I am tempted I remember it is poison to me. I remember what will happen and what I will loose if I take one drink. I don’t want to go back there. A book I listen to called Alcohol Explained II, helps you to see the science and affect alcohol has on our brain. I’m passed the threshold of moderate drinking. Once I take a drink again, that switch in my brain flips and it’s down the rabbit hole I go. And I’m okay with not drinking. Contrary to our society’s belief, you can have fun without alcohol.
Sorry for the long answer 
„Those who don’t want to wake up, let them sleep.“
It’s one of my favourite quotes by Rumi. I think it’s very healthy to not engage with her behaviour. Not react. Keep acting for yourself and your truth. I know the struggle. Manipulative people will get triggered when you live according to your whole and healthy self. It can be exhausting. But it’s worth the effort, it makes us free.
Love, friend 
Good afternoon guys. We go again! 
Day 27 AF.
Not much to report other than a mild dose of manflu. Meh
Hope you all have a great sober 24 
Good morning friends, day 149. Busy Saturday after having our 4 yr old granddaughter spend the night. Not a ton of sleep and up early but she’s a cutie.
Have a great day!
Saturday morning check-in. Eating a quick breakfast in the morning sun before I get my daughter up. Had a short sleep. Going to have to put 1 foot in front of the other and keep moving all day. I’m carrying a household. It’s all hard, but I have to stay all in on it. No escape. Gotta keep doing the right things.
Take care, and enjoy your weekend
Day 145
My husband is still in hospital and likely to be so for the next couple of weeks at least.
Life feels strange and lonely. I need to get it together some how.
Wishing everyone a fine day
3398
Nothing exciting planned for today. Probably mostly work since I have a deadline next week and a lot still needs to be done. And considering getting a manicure. @Jesile see how boring other people’s posts are?! If you take yours down by that standard then so should I. I hope you’ll keep posting!
Tomorrow my mom and I will go to Easter morning service. I don’t know whether stores will be closed tomorrow. Maybe I should do my grocery shopping today just in case. Nothing else planned for tomorrow. Hope everyone has a happy and sober weekend. 
Hang in there! Sending you strenght and a hug .
Day 1511
I got a decent sleep last night. The new nurse did well. Too bad she is an LPN tho bcuz we would love to have her on my sons team (we are HCA level of care now so LPNs are for a last resort).
I am not working today. I took the day off to take my son to a Rubiks Cube competition so he can watch them compete. Should be interesting! Ive never seen anything like that either 
Then once home, we will be celebrating Easter a day early. Since my son cant eat food by mouth, we got him a few gifts Some Hot Wheels, Jordan slides, and a Jordan shirt.
Should be a good day! Im looking forward to spending time with my son 
Hopw everyone has a great day also!
Day 46 , have a nice weekend everyone 
Early Day 6 check in
Its been a productive day today. I’ve done more research into AuDHD, continued to work on my ADHD coaching homework (currently looking at my sabatuers, todays one is Hyper Vigilence), done a lot of gardening (I repotted some mint, planted the brocoli I have been growing from seeds and moved onto attempt number 3 of getting some red onion and parsnip seed to grow!).
I then went out for a coffee out by myself and did some writing before buying the ingredients I needed for a fish pie which I have just stuck in the oven. All really wholesome and worthwhile things to spend time on.
As I sit here though, exhausted by the day my addiction is creeping in. I can feel it niggling at me because I am physically and mentally exhausted. Saying it will help easy everything for a minute.
I know better. I know that I have worked really hard to put myself in a better place with my addiction and I am not throwing it away just because I am tired and I have unprocessed emotions from the argument with my partner.
Tomorrow will mark a week of abstinence from me and I intend to see it through. I have a little reward planned for myself (buying a magazine) and I am already thinking about what I want for next weeks reward. Once I decide I will write it down, mark myself down as 1 week, X days and then start again. The ADHD part of my brain is powered by rewards and incentives. So I am going to hijack that desire for rewards into helping me beat this addiction.
I hope you all have a lovely sober day.
So I have honestly quit counting the days after 4 months sober, or maybe I just don’t care to look at them and just live my life. I know I won’t be going back and enjoying life as it is. I have done so much mentally through this journey and now I am ready for more responsibilities other then myself. Its not a relationship as I am quite content being single and working on myself daily. But I did do a thing
Flint arrives on Thursday April 9th at night from Cabo. He is a 4 month old mix. I am looking forward to this journey and having another fur baby in my home.
You’re describing your sister as having classic narcissistic traits. Has she been diagnosed with a type of psychopathy or some other pathology?
What’s she’s done, masterfully, is emotionally imprison you; and now you have a figurative Stockholm syndrome.
There was a gentleman I knew who had venomous relatives. He continued to participate in their lives and it would always lead him back into the psych hospital. I told him, if you walk into viper’s pit, expect to be bitten.
You’re not responsible for her, her feelings, her responses, her reactions, etc. You’re not!
Just yourself.
And, although it’s wonderful you’d like to ascend through this… it sounds more like you’re avoiding the inevitable conflict of telling her to fuck off and stay gone. But, I could also be 
wrong. 
Do you want a good laugh? She’s a psychologist!!!
There’s many psychologists who could be diagnosed with mental health disorders. No coincidence. Psychiatrists even more so. Talking from both personal and professional experience (not talking about mental health nurses here 
) .
Of course she is!
Some of the most unhinged people are mental health professionals.
Just because you’ve memorized something by rote doesn’t mean you know and live it.
Hells bells, she probably was studying so she could mirror what normal emotions look like. 
There you are:
add a big load of envy against someone who has lived and lives a life, and you have the whole picture! Right now my father and her are complaining about me …because you know, I’m too good to be true!!! Made a little appearance and just told my sister to wash her mouth before saying anything about me and left! Happy Easter! I don’t give a fuck, after cooking all day for tomorrow…hopefully soon a miracle will get me out of here …
