My new workweek starts here. I can do that. In fact I will. Bought a new amp yesterday, and spent the day installing and connecting it which should have taken an hour but took much longer. As things go with me. But it got done in the end and now I’m happy with my new setup.
So let’s get out there and work. One day at a time. Sober and clean. I’ll make today as good as I possibly can and hope you will all do the same. Much love from my hood.
@Marieke Very sorry for that friend. Healing thoughts your way. @Butterflymoonwoman Hugs your way, and some excellent overnight assistance if I could. Hugs.
Checking in day 260. AA here in the city makes a big deal out of holidays, so no one has to be alone. I stopped by for a minute, outside, but didn’t stay bc I’m sick. They had a lot of cute snacks, and Sunday we’ll have an Easter egg hunt for families. Supposed to be nice weather this upcoming week, and it’s spring break for local schools. Lots of staycationing with gas prices soaring. @Jesile I’m glad you came back to check in. I always fancy you’re living an exotic sun-filled life, like detective Montalbano or like that…and checking in daily is a good way to commit to, or to celebrate, each sober day. @Marieke I’m sorry to hear about your injury. Wishing you quick and complete healing. Makes me angry that we don’t improve cars and drivers to avoid this. We have the technology. Well, at least we’re clean and sober, able to have agency in our own lives, and wise enough to allow for guidance and assistance. Sober wings.
Got dragged out of bed this morning, my brother is currently in town as normally he travels with a small fair.
His van battery went flat so I had to go jump start him. Was a brief and funny way to start the morning. Everywhere I went to grab a coffee on the way was packed to was super annoyed very quickly my mind was telling me to grab some beers. Nope not today!
Found a gas station got coffee, did the jump.
Went to my local 2nd hand thrift/music store put a stack of dvds and cds away to pay off, came home with three, this is the gift sobriety gives me. Music.
My wife finished early browsed some more stores and got sushi. Time to relax.
Keep fighting the good fight sober whanau and happy Easter!
I am totally emotionally hungover from the dispute I had the other day, because the topic kept spinning in my mind over and over. Even though I tried my best to tackle it, it sort of ran wild. I haven’t done anything about it, and it didn’t make me angry or “mad” in any particular way… it was just background noise that sucked a lot of my energy.
When I moved here, I used to anxiously await Wednesdays and Fridays when I had to be alone with my father, because of the memories I had of our past. But today, I have repaired my relationship with him so well that I actually can’t wait to take a break from my sister and enjoy some lighter time alone with him over lunch. I also believe that healing my relationship with him was the real reason I needed to be here, rather than fixing things with my sister, because she doesn’t actually care. She prefers to be alone rather than around family.
It’s that kind of situation where, when a mother dies, the true colors of family members come out, and she had some very shady sides no one would have ever imagined. My older brother, who lives abroad, and his wife don’t even talk to her anymore because of how rude and nasty she was with my sister-in-law’s family, and they skip holidays here to avoid her. They just did one Christmas here without my mother, and then never again. I don’t blame them… I probably would avoid her, too.
I know it’s not exactly a positive holiday check-in, but I am an addict after all, with an utterly dysfunctional family, and holidays bring back memories …
Today I am grateful for:
Time in the kitchen to prepare food for tomorrow
Time alone with my father
Time alone in general
Wishing everyone a solid 24 sober hours and a happy Easter!
Oh shit @Marieke , that’s awful! I hope it’s nothing major. I never had any broken bones but had few bigger bruises and they can hurt like hell. I know it might sound arrogant from somebody who has licence for 2 months only but some ppl really don’t know how to drive! I live in the small village and here old people are the worst! I swear I’m sure they see nothing. They just remember the way and go “oh well, I hope I will get to that church/shop one more time”. Its driving me crazy when I use my bakfiets with kids on board. They are fucking blind, they shouldn’t drive. Sorry for making it about me I wish you speedy recovery
So you can imagine the situation when on narrow road car is coming straight at you (and kids are in the front) and if you swerve to much you will end up in the water. Happened many times.
I slept really well last night, have been doing so for the past 4-5 nights, almost 8 hours non-stop. Yesterday I went for lunch with my mom, it took me almost the same time to find a parking spot as it took me to drive the 70KM there… you can tell high season is already lurking (the Easter break doesn’t help much), the place was packed with “guiris” (foreigners, like me btw).
Yesterday during my walk a lady walked passed me, she was smoking. I smelled the whiff os smoke and somehow I had this tiny thought of “I could have just one”. I was already huffing and puffing to walk up the hill to the high part of the town, so that urge faded very quickly.
I’m thinking of changing my routine, which is for some strange reason a big deal for me. Usually I do the cleaning on Sundays, but I’m off today. It’s farmers market, I’m thinking of going there now, after breakfast, and buy some groceries and flowers, and then clean the house. I know it’s total stupid, but changing this routine is something I’m actually thinking through whether to go ahead or not We’ll see…
Don’t ever think your check-ins are boring, they are helping with your accountability, and people can resonate with them more than you think! Housework mightn’t make for riveting reading, but it is part of life and our work. Dana’s posts always making me nod too, the woman seems to be always doing laundry like me. I’m thinking, ‘I feel ya sister!’ as I’m trudging though laundry I’ve six in my house and the cleaning is never ending. We aren’t all out there paragliding
Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who send messages of support, well wishes, positive thoughts and of course memes . I wanted to thank you all individualy but I am really tired. But you know who you are, you amazing bunch of people!!
My knee is like a bowlingball and hurts a lot but otherwise I am fine, which is remarkable. I got a call from the guy who hit me yesterday. He wanted to check in on me. He was also pretty shaken up, I think even more than me. It was nice of him to call and I told him, no hard feelings, accidents happen. And that is exactly what it was, an accident.
So now I am hobbeling around the house with my funky cane. My mom will come by monday to help and she will bring crutches.
For now I am grateful to be alive. I am also grateful for a full fridge (had a grocery delivery on thursday), for Crocs and for this amazing community!
To everyone who celebrates, have a blessed Easter.
I was so shocked to read what happened to you. Aside from the pain and swelling in your legs, I’m glad you are okay otherwise. My goodness, this could have been been a different story if he’d been going any faster Marieke
You’ll get back to your walks in time, heal for now. Happy Easter to you too Marieke
Stain glass window at the Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Strasbourg we visited on our last trip.
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Getting back into the daily rut. Cloudy and gray skies today. Gonna take care of my IT, meet a friend later. Trying to find a time in my schedule so that I can work out more consistently. I am not good at routines of that sort. Especially with something like repetetive cardio.
I live in Den Haag. Small one way streets, lots of fatbikes and drivers who only look out for themselves. And hardly any bikelanes. I hate biking here, it’s scary. And apparently walking is also unsafe .
I admire your emotional strength, Luca. It takes a lot to repair and heal relationships. And even more in dysfunctional dynamics.
You deserve peaceful, nourishing and healthy relationships and I am so happy for you that you build it for yourself. I know it takes a lot of work and I see how much effort you‘re putting into this.
Have a peaceful easter, with yourself, you lovely cats and your Dad.
I never thought I transmit this message.
I wish you speedy recovery 
you can tell high season is already lurking (the Easter break doesn’t help much), the place was packed with “guiris” (foreigners, like me btw).
We’ll see…
I’ve six in my house and the cleaning is never ending. We aren’t all out there paragliding 
. I wanted to thank you all individualy but I am really tired. But you know who you are, you amazing bunch of people!! 
