Checking in day 923 AF 
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@Tragicfarinelli 
. Hope you sleep well. Yes- sometimes sleep is the best way to reset out moods / thoughts. Sending comforting vibes your way. 
@Finn so lovely to hear that you went to a meeting and were able to share. Great job on not letting the nervousness hold you back.
It really is a marvelous space. Glad you are back with us. Tue community is stronger will all of us 
hoping @just_laura is living her best life and doing well 
. Although our body does do a LOT of work in repairs while we sleep. Glad you had some good āyogaā time in
Wow .. great job on setting that head straight. Everything can wait. You are whatās most important 
Hope you can enjoy the rest of your weekend.
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And I knighted us all many many moons ago , the soberians 
I love sobereenos Laura!
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Day 13.
5.25am.
12 degrees @Seb what in the? I think Winters over seb
Got 3 hours sleep.
FB woke me up at 5am. He is confused with the sleep schedule I think. I gave him his morning milk ( he is a dog fyi lol ) while I made my precious coffee.
The second I finish coffee, FB is passed out asleep again so I will journal, meditate then get the day started.
Pay day is always an on edge day. I donāt trust my monkey mind even though I feel fine, pay day always is an anxiety ridden day.
Anyhoo il be fine.
I keep seeing the words spanish yoga here lol so funny. Itās actually inspired me to go check out some actual yoga studios local. I havnt been to a class in over 5 years. There are a ton of studios in my area, will see which have āfree trailā classes or like 5 classes for 50 bucks or something close to affordable lol. I think I could stick with a yoga studio over a gym.
Thatās my plan for the day. Find and pick a yoga studio.
ODAAT yāall 
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Checking in on day 20. I wanted to drink yesterday with my teammates but I didnāt. I was with them when I had the urge but when Iām with myself I know how drinking would really make me feel
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Day 363 AF
Having a nice quiet Sunday. Walked the pups and have some errands to run before the craziness of the week starts tomorrow. Have a lot of thoughts/emotions I am trying to process right now but overall feeling really grateful.
Hope everyone is having a great day!
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22 months completely sober today on the dot
I just wrapped up work
Going to a meeting tomorrow
Ive been at the store for 10hours -9hours work
I do this for 2 more days then out 3 hours early on friday
Im going to ask to change my schedule to
..6am-3pm
Insted of 7am to 4pm
Im asking my boss in a few weeks when i see him next
Take care
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Great job on not giving into that urge . 3 weeks tomorrowā¦you are crushing it
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22 months is awesomeā¦keep this momentum going strong friend
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Checking in on 143. Double the maximum sober streak Iāve ever had before. That feels good! It doesnāt feel like itās been that long and yet Iām starting to forget the life I had before. My life has got smaller in some ways, but better in most too. Iām more easily contented and I welcome that. Just keep trying until it clicks is the best advice I can give.
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Love that. Itās amazing what time does isnāt it. And that good feeling!
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Checking in Day 1
So much to catch up on on this thread. It goes so fast but its wonderful to see everyone checking in.
Thanks to @Butterflymoonwoman @JazzyS @JazzyS @JasonFisher @jas and @Puddingface33 for checking in.
My relapse followed a familiar pattern, try to ākeep upā with everything, push my needs away and then when I finally stop I am too physically and mentally overwhelmed and I make the worst choice. I feel a bit like a horse that wonāt jump over a hurdle. Balking at about the same point each time.
Since my relapse I still feel just as overwhelmed. The only tool I have developed so far is distraction. The problem with that is it stops working once you are too exhausted to distract yourself.
Iām trying something different this evening. Iām sitting on the floor on a comfy rug to try and feel more grounded. Iāll statt with that and an earlier night, then see where I can go from there.
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So happy to see u checking in friend I obviously dont know ur day to day situation, but can uou schedule breaks for urself throughout the day? I used to set an alarm on my phone 3x a day (mid-morning, afternoon, and evening). These alarms were reminders for me to stop what Im doing, pause, and to check in with myself. Am i hungry? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Do i need to slow down and rest? Am i angry or sad or lonely? Basicallyā¦ what do I need right now?
Its very easy for stress to build n build over the course of the day. Then by evening, the stress/overwhelm/exhaustion is sooo strong that its hard to bring ourselves down from that. Try to attack the stress/overwhelm when its āsmallā. It really helped me cuz god knows rhay stress was a HUGE trigger for me to use.
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A-561 C-505 THC-287 N-223
Revisiting old hobbies is a serious bonus to sobriety. When I was drinking/using/smoking my interests were few and far between, and usually orientated around one substance or another. Now that Iām sober from my big 4, I have found new interests and reinvested time into old hobbies. Iām thankful for the newfound desire to self love.
Iām grateful for freshly baked bread, for painting with a friend, and for family dinners 
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Checking in 6 years, 6 months and 13 days substance free.
I feel like I need to share.
The last few weeks have been very hard for me. I received some bad news about my beloved Nugget and had to put her down quickly so she didnāt suffer. I knew she was not well before I left for Bali but thought we had figured it out when she got her Addisonās diagnoses. Unfortunately it was cancer, in her bones and a huge mass in her chest taking up much of her breathing room. Bless her stoic heart.
I have been navigating grief, figuring out what living without a dog feels like after not living with out one for over 30 years. Its hardā¦
Onto to next topicā¦ this weekend I attended the beautiful wedding of the daughter of an old friend ( from my past life). I was absolutely blindsided with shame when I ran into my an ex. Its such a long evolved story which truly doesnāt matter. What matters and what all addicts can relate to is how I felt. I literally couldnāt breathe as all these unresolved situations, feelings, and traumas came flooding back to me. All of my terrible behavior, all of the hurt I caused, all of the things I did that kept me loaded for 33 years. I was completely unprepared to have this reaction when I saw him.
I had shoved everything so far down and I hadnāt touched it once since coming into recovery. A lot of the older TS members know that I have done a set of steps every year in NA , lots of trauma therapy and not once did this come up. It just shows how much we come into recovery with because I have sure been busy uncovering parts of myself and healing.
I couldnāt stay at the wedding yesterday, I made it through the ceremony and then left. I was triggered so badly, I just wanted out of my feelings. The only way for me to do that was to let myself feel them so I went home to cry.
Iām not going to lie, I wanted a drink bad. I thought multiple times how grateful i was that i wasnt there alone. When I got home I cried, called my sponsor, ate a bunch of shitty food and went to bed early. Today I woke up with a very heavy feeling in my heart and I am grateful that today I know what I have to do because my program has taught me. I need to amend my behaviorā¦ so thats what I will do.
I came to share this for accountability and so that the people who are 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10 years clean having using thoughts donāt think they are fucked up and hopeless cases. We canāt do this alone, the moment you think you can youāre in trouble. Those thoughts need to be shared so they lose their power. We are never finished recovering. So grateful I woke up clean today and donāt have any amends to make for new behaviors. 
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When are you expected to hear back regarding that last job application?
Keep busy today, sing out if ya need a chat 
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Wowā¦this line is beautiful
RIP sweet boy .. sorry for your loss.
I am also sorry that you got blindsided with such feelings at a wedding. Crazy how we think we are healed and when confronted with the situation/ person itās like a locked box opens up. Vert proud of you for realizing you needed to feel the feelings and reach out for support.
Much love Stella. Thank you for the share and the reminder. .
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Iām so very sorry to see this Stella. My thoughts are with you x
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Iām so sorry for your loss. I know it well. I wasnāt in recovery at the time I lost my dog. I drank like I was in a Titanic deck chair. Like a good alcoholic, I used my trauma as an excuse to binge more than ever because I figured the world would think āIām justifiedā Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful!!
I love that your post reminds us all that alcohol is also very PATIENT !! It waits for the inevitable perfect storm to come together in our lives and quietly hopes that we will give ānormal drinkingā one more try.
Not Today !! 
Glad you recognized the warning signs
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Great to see you!
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