Thank you Ethan. 
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My friend died today. 
The world is really beating my ass guys.
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Oh no!!! I’m sooo very sorry love. 
. I know you were so close to him
Sending prayers and condolences 
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Oh I am so so sorry @Scorpn 
It is really pouring on you right now. Are you in danger of using?
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Lol…yeah I’m realizing how oblivious people can be or maybe self centered is the right word. Grateful to not get sucked into the annoyance of it all
I’m so grateful they finally came today. Theyve tried to make it my fault for the delay since I’m not allowing the maintenance crew into my house without me there.
I told them that I wouldn’t care if they respected the space and wore booties or took off shoes. I’m told they always do that and still I find that I have to remind them every time they come by. Today the guy had to go back to the shop for his booties 
.
It may not be a huge deal but I absolutely hate shoes in the house especially when it’s been raining for past 2 days.
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Especially with your health issues! No extra germs needed thank you very much. 
It should be SOP for them to do it even when not requested. 
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Checking in with 55 days sober from alcohol
Today was mostly good. I worked but it was an easy day. I took a risk that turned out well. I met some people I quite enjoy. I’m doing the best that I can with what is currently kinda garbage mental health. I’m still spending too much time sitting in memories and shame of the past and letting that drag my mood down dramatically. Tonight I think I’ll do some gratitude and journal about how far I’ve come and what I have still to learn to get some perspective back. I hope everyone is having a peaceful day.
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I can’t catch my breath. I’m at work and I can’t think straight.
I’m in shock right now.
My friend who died was the only person who protected me when I was homeless and going through withdrawals as a kid. He sat up all night and kept watch so I could get some sleep. He gave me food and a place to sleep and treated me like family. I loved him. He might as well had been my brother. We are only 2 months apart.
He stayed in Florida and I haven’t seen him in a long time but we have kept in touch. He had been sick but he was getting better.
He was getting better.
And now he’s gone. And I didn’t get to say goodbye.
Will I get high. Probably not. Will I drink… Maybe. But I’ll definitely be drowning. Because everything is going wrong. And I cant catch a break.
My heart hurts.
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Oh love I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to provide words of comfort that will help fill that void and heal that hurt
Please do not do anything self destructive. I’m sorry that you were at work and have to work out that shit in this state of shock
We are here for you. You do not have to process this grief alone 
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Great plan to practice gratitude and work on changing that mindset. Keep up the great work friend. A change in perspective can be so uplifting
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Absolutely well done and huge congratulations!!!
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That feeling is so familiar and so awful –especially not remembering. It will lessen over time, but honestly that’s dangerous, too, because then it’s easy to forget the consequences and justify another drink. Or at least that was the case for me. Do you have any thoughts about how to avoid that? You can do this.
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I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. No judgement for those who find comfort in it, but it bothers me, personally. I think you can learn from everything that happens and build on everything that has happened but you don’t have to believe shitty things are happening “for a reason”. What you’re going through right now is awful and unfair and lonely…but you’re doing it, and you’re going to make it through. Let us know how we can help.
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Congratulations on one year Col! 
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2642
Checking in early morning before work. Three days to go till my holidays yay! Doing pretty well, just ready for a break. Had some triggering stuff at work recently, having to do with different forms of aggression, real or foreseen (and not actually happening). And while these gave me some old fashioned anxious feelings, talking about those with my colleagues on the spot helped a lot in overcoming them. Not fleeing or freezing (or fighting) but actually doing something about them. Growth. Slow and imperfect but growth for sure. One day at a time.
Anyway. Going to have as good a day as I possibly can. It will be sober and clean for sure because nothing good would come of drinking or using. Have a good day or night all. Much love from the ferry across the IJ.
@Scorpn So sorry for your loss friend. Big big hugs. I’m with @Kjcj in saying lots of stuff happens just randomly. All we can do is our best. And try to get some help here and there. I know you are doing your utmost. More hugs and love your way
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491 days AF. Let’s stay sober and addiction free. Have a great day!
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Heading to my bed. Sober. One more day.
Still feel like the world is crumbling around me, but hurting myself isn’t going to help. So I’ll just lay down and try to sleep.
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Congratulations! One year without a drink is awesome.
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Good to see you posting. Glad you’re back!
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Much love bro! Stay with us!
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